Hi redtail,
I appreciate your kind words---I cant tell you how much they mean to me. Im so thankful that we have tons of pictures of him & loads of funny moments that we can think of. Its just so hard now---knowing that with the rain that he would be in the house either next to me in my hospital bed or next to hubby. He was always laying beside one of us. Theres just a major void right now. He was such a character----he made us laugh alot. I know that in time that things will get better, because we've lost other loved ones---its just that Smokey was with us so long---that its going to take longer.
Thank you again for your kind words.
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Janet

(((Tiredofpain))) I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It is painfaul. Our dear ((Alffe)) recently lost her precious Cooper. I pray your heart heals more with each day.

I've been thinking of you Janet.
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How are you managing?

I've been in the same place as you are now.... too many times to write about .... and every time feels like the first. No pet's passing feels any less painful than another.
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I understand what you're going through ... as do so many other NT members.

I'm so glad you posted here, and reached out to this wonderful group of people. What nicer introduction than to ask for solace and receive it.

Hi Doody,
I want to thank you for your kind words--they really mean alot. Ive gotten more sympathy from ya'll here than I have my own family that lives right down the driveway from me & they knew Smokey. I was there for them when their cat died---hubby even made a sign for them & dug the hole.
I really dont understand why they dont get what we are going thru. Its like they just blow everything off. Theyve seen me in not only the pain from loosing Smokey but the pain that I deal with everyday due to c.r.p.s & they just dont see it at all. I just dont know what to do.
Maybe one of these days they will understand---but Im not going to hold my breath until they do---I would turn blue--thats how un-aware they are.
Thanks again Doody.
Janet

Hi Ann
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Ive been really trying to do good--but its only been a week since we lost Smokey & I cant tell you how hard this week has been. Ive looked for him so many times that I cant count. Somethings just off----if you know what I mean?

You're right---even though its not the first time that we've lost a "baby"----it sure does feel like it. The other ones that we lost were "murdered" by a drunk that used to live close to us---but he's gone from the neighborhood now--which Im so glad that hes not around here anymore. He cant kill anyones animals.

Im really glad that you told me about this place---it really helps alot. Like I told Doody-----Ive gotten more sympathy here than I have from my own family & they knew Smokey. They were so "afraid" that Smokey was going to "eat" their small dog that they would panic when Smokey went down the driveway. Even thou we told them over thousand times that Smokey wasnt going to hurt their dog they still didnt listen to what we said.

Getting the sympathy that Ive gotten here means more than ya'll will know. It lets me know that there are people who care.
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I really was begining to wonder if there were people that care or if it was just a myth---now I know. Its just too bad that I cant get any from my family for any reason at all.
Thanks again for your kind words---they mean the world to me.
Janet
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A I STOOD BY YOUR BED

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, you were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore. I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care. I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key. I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ... in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see. Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.

Hi Doodle bug 7,
I read this yesterday & it brought tears to my eyes---so much that I couldnt even say thank you to you. I just read it to my hubby & we both cant tell you how much we appreciate your very dear kind words. The whole thing just reminds us of Smokey--because thats how he is. Its been such a short time since we lost him that it still hurts so badly.
We still look for him & wonder for that brief second where he is & then we remember & its just so hard. We had him for so long---that hes just always been right here. We've loved him for so long--that we just thought that he would always be here with us----I know that he was old & in alot of pain & I know that hes not hurting now & that hes just running around looking at everything so that he can show us. I only know of one other person that views animals the same way that we did---that is until I started this thread with the help of Ann---who told me that I should do it & Im so glad that I did.
Everyone's kind words helps & it means so much to my hubby & I.
Thank you again so very very much.

Janet
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Hi everyone,
Today marks the second week without Smokey. Its like all the other babies know that somethings not right---they all acted strange today. I dont know if they just thought that Smokey was just away or what----but now its like they all know that hes not coming back & they are all sad---just like hubby & I are.
Usually they would all sing at certain times of the day--- but now they are one singer short & it just doesnt sound right to the rest of the group.
It still feels so lonely around here. I want to thank everyone that has passed on their sympathies to us---they really mean alot. My own sister hasnt said anything since Smokey first passed. Oh well---its not like I can make her care. They were so afraid of Smokey----just because he was a big boy---doesnt mean that he was going to "eat" them or anything.
Thanks again,
Janet

Hi Janet,

still thinking of you and your empty house!!!!
I still cry over my dear dog after 18 months..................
My sisters little kelpie came in the other day, and went searching for her "mate" through the house when I showed her one of his collars, so she still remembers him. Animals are amazing creatures, and we don't give them enough credit, well some of us do.

take care,
Kate

Hi Kate,
Thanks, I really appreciate it. Your right---it sure is empty here---it truly feels like a deserted island---if you know what I mean. We have other babies but Smokey was such a major part of our family that it just feels like my heart has been ripped out & it just hurts so bad.
He hated the rain so much that he would be in the house with us & it just doesnt seem right that we're in because of the rain & hes not---if that makes any sense to you.
It took us a long time to get over the loss of loosing our other babies & I know that this will take time too--its just been such a short time that doing the "normal" things is just too hard.
I really appreciate your kind words. Thanks again.
Janet