Doc says i'm hypo
 

i agreed to shaving off even more zoloft ... we may want to taper it right out if i am not frankly depressed, we haven't talked about that. but he wants me on depakote yesterday. he said "don't you REALIZE how effervescent you are???? what you need is a mood stabilizer, not an antidepressant!!!" boy i've never seen him get that vehement about meds. it really seemed something must have changed from last week.

i had been getting racing thoughts and another possible st, and told him that last week, but at that time he felt i was ok, other than good idea to shave off some zoloft - which we did.

this week, he says i am still lucid, and seemed surprised that i was like - reallYY? depakote? - he almost told me off in a way, because he says i am exceptionally self-aware. but maybe right now so much is going on it is hard for me to see the forest for the trees. there's SO many trees dang it! and i go through so many emotions i don't know what i am, honestly. my answer to his didn't i realize, was "yes - no - maybe - i don't know - it VARIES!" to which he said, "case in point!" LOL! :D i thought about it and last night i did realize i am experiencing *everything* very intensely even though i'm not having real weird stuff happen.

he got very stern at me about some things going on at work ... apparently i'm joking around too much - i'm getting lots done!!! other ppl joke. i don't know if he's overshooting coz he's not there or what, but for now i will take the meds and see. maybe retrospect will be more telling or something. or just lowering or removing the zoloft could be enough.... but maybe not fast enough.

past couple days i wore myself out physically bigtime. also had very very little sleep this week for a variety of reasons - mostly busy. and i am getting a bit sick. (tummy, throat/nose). so perhaps no suprise i guess that thursday and friday i was pretty "flat" the first half of the day... made me think... hey wait, no way i am hypo! also i felt very cold. but i think that confuses things more than anything else.

important is to keep job. so whatever, bring on the meds.

i have been frantic about Christmas. no time for cards, presents, etc... only doing one project for my parents and i don't know if i'll finish in time. today they each separately reassured me not to worry about Christmas. to write them a nice card, it's the thought that counts. that was kind of them.

i have had a lot more to do - including fixing some of my clothes to wear to work and helping my cousin and running around to sign contracts (yes! through June 30, for the moment! but still...)

~ waves ~ sorry for rambling a bit. i am tired and excited and lots of other intense things all together but still tired. bed time.

yes life is much more fun when we are hypo!!!!! it is just a slippery slope and quick jump to mania....yikes! :eek:
glad that your folks said to not worry about the holidays...listen to them.
hugs to you girl friend!
(((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

yah i know it... and if i get manic or any form of delusional i WILL lose my job. (been there, done that, more than once.)

probably that is why he is slapping me on depakote so quick.

i had thought disturbances a few weeks back too, but that resolved... dunno if that played into his decision... i do have some Zyprexa just in case.

but i ad mit part of me is really reluctant to medicate this

i feel sooo :heartthrob:ALIVE:heartthrob:
oh the touch of satin and the taste of sangria

but everything is quick to turn to.... very reactive....
if i were a car nobody could drive me... my steering would be too sensitive hehe.

and rememebr when i was saying i'd flet dead for so long??? so ya know.....

zyprexa is not a bad idea...just saying....
IMO...sorry
love you
bizi

Dear waves,
I thought that hypo turned into a "mania diagnosis" when it reached a length of time say over a week,
(not sure what the dsm4 says)
not neccesarily delusional... which is mania with psychosis.
Been there done that...not good results...
sorry
bizi

yup, that's the way it goes... DSM says 1 week of hypo and its called mania...

my first pdoc said though, that it's also a question of extent but DSM does not handle that aspect... i know what he means though.

you can have delusions and not be completely psychotic. delusional thinking is a psychotic st but often limited to a certain area... florid psychosis is complete detachment from reality. i am given zyprexa for thought disturbances, but not as a mood stabilizer - i cannot take it on a continuous basis. geodon is not prescribable here for bipolar.

my sense is that i am still mild (hypo), f anything. but i still notice two warning sx on and off. plus not just my pdoc had a cow, my parents have been telling me they have noticed this and that... sigh.

i started the depakote at 300mg for a couple nights it was not sedating so i took 500 tonight, will do 650 tomorrow or might even add a 150 now... target is 600 for now but i don't have that many 300's to do that so i'd take a 500 + 1/2 a 300 = 650mg = close enough. as long as i can still do arithmetic i am cool.

i may call doc about reducing zoloft more than we discussed. i am not keen on changing things on my own right now because apprently i am missing things. but he said i did not need an antidepressant now so, i am wondering... and i do know that racing thoughts will get in my way at work if they worsen. doc also thinks i have other fish to fry at work, or rather that i am frying fish that are not mine to fry... hehe

so something has to get shaken out...... ehhhhhhhh

FISH-FRY every one!!!! :D bring a fork, or a spork, or a skewer andddd......DIG IN!!!!

:grouphug: :)
~ waves ~

I think you are right about discontinuing the zoloft completely.
At this time it is making the mania worse....are you tappering off of it or can you just stop it?????
it is hard to reel it in...that is why I think the zyprexa can help short term use. any way to take like 2.5mg of it?
I am sorry.
bizi

Dear Waves,
I am soooo happy that you see pdoc frequently.

'Good to hear about the Depakote.
You are very cool. :D


I think you can change two meds at a time.
You know both of them very well.

M.

As Im feeling extremeley tired thanks to my meds.... :mad: :( I will just say this....

I LOVE to be hypo... :o Shame later on I fall into a very dark/deep hole... :rolleyes:

i was so reactive today i nearly tore my boss a new one.

not because he was mean or anything... because he shared something with another coworker, and not with me.... i know i know i know... sounds like a 2 year old... hey bizi i remember you saying something about two year olds ... but trust me this is even more complicated... this is why my pdoc is up in arms......... heck

but i mean i had to leave the office and i felt like punching a hole in the wall. ( i didn't try, but.... before that i could not hold my tongue i made remarks that were gosh i cannot tell if others would just see them as playful jabs or what, to me they were only "disguised" that way... i mean the playful part was just the extent to which i could control the impulse... ideally i should have said nothing.... i could not shut UP i could not just....... sht man, and then i got ****** about not having "due" attention, i see it sort of but still feel indignant...

went to bar... had a very heavy drink (figure 2 black russians in terms of qty). after that i was STILL xtremely hyper

and this in spite of the fact that i apparently AM getting sick/am sick ... throat hurts... my mom is sick.

ok so i pm'd my pdoc from the bar that i had nerves to high heaven and mood lability to match and intuition suggested a steeper reduction in Zoloft... i asked what about if i drop to 50mg (i was at 125, he wanted me to go to 100). he replied it sounded like a good idea.

one thing i am aware enough is of being sometimes oblivious in retrospect and sometimes simply flooded right now that i suspect it is best even if it seems silly to me, to bounce even the most "obvious" things off of pdoc, in terms of meds. i am used to self-managing and he is used to me self-managing but last session it was clear i was not all there.... i figure if i send him an sms saying "i think i should do X because Y" it is not so bothersome to him as a phonecall, and if i am offbase he can say no that is too impulsive. my concern is being too reactive - even impulsive - even about meds, because i am having problems with impulse control.

ok so, with pdoc's texted blessing, i am down to 50mg zoloft as of tonight, and i went up to 650mg of depakote.

bizi, i appreciate the concern but zyprexa is really not an option for me as a mood stabilizer unless psychotic symptoms present (frank delusions or thought disturbances - form or content). i see pdoc enough that if need be he will have me take it for a short time. he knows i hate to take it and that it is bad for me. but i had a terrible time when i was convinced that i was responsible for the fires all over the country (started them with my thoughts) ... often these things resolve spontaneously but this worsened over weeks, and pdoc went on vacation just after it started. i told him after that, that if i presented that way again, please make me take zyprexa because in such a case it would not occur to me that i was "off" and i would not think to take it as "needed." when things are real to you, you don't go thinking you need an antipsychotic. i felt guilty and responsible for mass destruction of ppl's livelihoods that time............... :( i felt like the wicked witch of the west... but i could not control my evil powers.... :(

anyway. right now we are just trying not to screw up a job. so far i have not conjured up any way in which i am decimating parts of the population... :rolleyes:

~ waves ~

ps bizi - zyprexa - i only have one sheet (7 pills) of 10's .... min could split into 5's and not advisable :o

ROFL! thanks! :) :D :cool:

doc was talking going up to a full gram of depakote again...
i said no . frickin . way!!!

ticket to dysarithmetosis.

i need to be able to do arithmetic!!!!!
he said well 800 then. 600 is what he wants for now. he mentioned going up to 800 and a gram too though.

800 ok. just not a gram. i can't even add single digits then!!!!

all my life i have lived bouncing transatlantic.... i am used to time zones... i am used to time zone arithmetic.

when i routinely screw up time zone arithmetic, themoreso if i am totally confounded by it, something is seriously WRONG. so far, i have only experienced this "WRONGness" with a full gram of Depakote. so, NO WAY JOSE!!!! :eek: NOT AGAIN!!!

:) i had told my pdoc every 2 weeks instead of every week. but lately told him i need to see him weekly because things are too messy. i am glad i told him that too. things are even messier than they were when i said it.

but what feels good is i got my first deposit.... so i can pay him now. so i feel ok asking to see him more often. i am not making him lose income by seeing me in a time slot that would otherwise be well covered and remunerated by working ppl. now i am working ppl too.

yeah... it's gonna happen this way this time... it seems necessary. i very nearly blew a gasket today at work, seriously. actually blew half of one and only maybe hopefully made it seem funny later? when i left i went and had some really heavy drinks........

~ waves ~

Dear Waves,
You are holding it together very well. The Zoloft is working against you.
The Depakote will need a few weeks. . . . . If I ever took Depakote it was 20 years ago so I don't know how it works. I'm guessing it will need a few weeks at the right dosage but could help you soon.

I DID blow a gasket at work a couple of months ago. A colleague later told me to remove myself from the situation waaaay before it happens. He said to look at my watch or something and mumble something about having to go. In my building, "Go" kind of means going outside because many of our rooms connect directly to the outside (Florida style). I even practiced doing that with him maybe twice. I think I brought up the practicing once or twice and told another colleague that I might have to get up and leave if I can't control myself.
My upset was verbally striking out at my old boss, so this is not analogous to your situation, but you get the point.

(During a meeting I was running, by boss kept interrupting and referring to a very calm meeting she and I had had the day before. She was totally mis characterizing the meeting and was not going to let up. I barely remembered what happened but I think I pointed to the door and loudly told her to "leave." She did not leave. She is a dumb as. Again, I know that this is not anything close to what you are talking about. I mention it because I really wanted to keep my job.)

Any disruption caused by my "calmly" leaving in the middle of something was preferable to losing my job. My colleague saw that I was very wound up during that verbal sitatuion and he might not have ever seen anything that powerful from me before. On the other hand, as we work closely together, he might have (I say might because he is a guy) noticed some similar behavior from me that was of a lesser degree at other times.
I jumbled up that sentence. I woke up 5 mins ago. I hope you understand.


I remember hearing you mention that you have some Zyprexa around. Again, this is another drug that I don't know, but I ask anyway. Would the Zyprexa help while you wait for the Zoloft to go down and the Depakote to go up? Can you call pdoc about the Zyprexa and ask for more? Is he going to be unavailable during the holdiays?


M.

dear Mari

i am just so glad that boss is not there any more haunting your job and your life. yuck. it sounded awful.

today i DID tell off my (very new) boss and only later made a backreference to make it seem joking. i honestly have no idea how it came off.

i had plenty of other ammo lined up in the barrel it seemed like anything anyone said after that i had a snyd remark ready and managed to keep a lid on most but just barely.... and i DID at that point remove myself from the office i HAD to i did not see any other way about it. i felt like putting my fist through a wall.

depakote should act a lot faster than a few weeks.

reducing the zoloft to 50mg should also have significant effects, fast. i should be able to suspend without incident, after a week at 50.

being christmas time i may take a few days off when it suits me / when i need to. ppl take time off around now so nobody will mind. boss is off next week so even if i work then will be a less ehhhh precarious situation.

--------------------------------
everyone/anyone/regarding zyprexa and me:

i am going to say this one more time, as clearly as i can.

afterwards, i shall ignore further comments on MY using zyprexa as a mood stabilizer.

I can only use zyprexa in dire need, i.e. case of psychotic sx, extreme states (alternative being hx) or sx that depakote will simply not cover. it is not a question of asking doc for more. it is excellent for certain things. it is not suitable for use as a "pad" drug. it is a cost/benefit issue, and i don't mean monetary cost.

and right now there are other interventions which can be made.

~ waves ~

Waves

I personally commend you for handling the situations so well.
I wish I could get my son to realize he needs to be back on depakote ER.
I realize you are just on regular depakote. But it was so good for both
my older son's.

I know it also caused side effects so if I could find something that would
help them as well I would too.

But I think you are doing a great job.

Donna:grouphug:

I hope you are able to take a few days off.
Sounds like you need some time for your meds to work or stop working regarding the zoloft. good luck in your ability to control your impulses...this is hard to do, even harder to do while you are manic.
hang in there my friend.
bizi

hi. yes bizi i could use it.

and... well... i got sick after all. i had to stay home today. physically a wreck, mentally a wreck in a different way, and sleeplenss night.

hyper and weak at the same time. it is totally weird.

have upped the depakote to 650 and reduced the zoloft - tonight i skipped it even... i feel too wigged as it is.

i am worried about losing my job. boss was supposed to train me another 1/2 day this week for some things to do next week, in his absence. me not there this week = me stuck next week. great, you might say, so take that week off too! but then my immediate-hiring company would not like that. :( and so i am sitting here going i have to go in to morrow. and then, geez, unless i am a LOT better... that would be senseless. i dunno.

i feel guilty because maybe if i'd come right home last night instead of having drinks, i wouldn't have clobbered my immune system.

or maybe i'd have got sick anyway. who knows. i don't. i am thinking too much about too manything and don't know anything. i have detached words and images ... from work mostly but not just... dancing like sugarplums in my head it is NOTTTT FUNNNNN. :mad::confused:

this morning i felt so flooded i had trouble putting words together to say things. clearly it is not to that point now. i had a couple good naps today which helped i think. but there is still a background jumble going on.

~ waves ~

Donna - re Depakote ER
 

thanks Donna. i hope i can get through this weird patch i've hit now.

btw, just wanted to advise on the Depakote - i believe i take the ER equivalent. See, because i live abroad, the names are different. But what i take is brand name, and it is a 24-hour release kind. Abbott makes it in the US, here it is made by Sanofi Aventis - they are a partner of Abbott i think though. generic is not available here, at least not this release form.

luckily i have no side effects at low/moderate doses, a gram or higher and i get significant cognitive deterioration. i am sorry if Derrick has side effects from it i know some can be quite ugly. many folks have tummy problems and weight gain, i am blessed that i do not have that.

~ waves ~

officially called in sick to work for rest of week. my immediate boss might call me back if he wants to discuss assignments for next week. i couldn't get hold of him. i called and emailed him. my intermediate boss is going to follow up for me now.

i called pdoc. cancelled thursday and asked about immediate zoloft d/c - he ok'd it.

~ waves ~

I am worried for you. I hope you feel better sooner than soon. You have been under so much pressure. Maybe your body was screaming for a reprieve. I hope you can sleep a lot now and enjoy xmas.
love you
bobby

i don't know where i am
 

thank you Bobby

i sure hope i can sleep. pdoc wants me to call him again by friday to make appt for jan. i msy ask should i raise the depakote. i don't know if i am rushing it. i am confused but too, soooo afraid of crashing but part of me seems still on the rise???? :eek:

it's as though i have one foot on the up escalator and the other on the down... at the same time??? :yikes:

love
~ waves ~

i thought i could fly... so why did i drown
i never know why it's comin' down down down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojbVL...=QL&playnext=1

Yes Waves

You are on what we call teh Extended Release form. Which is what my
older boys took. I think I maybe able to talk my oldest back on to it yet.

He is just having so many problems at times.

Donna:grouphug:

get well my friend
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

thank you Bizi & Donna :hug::hug:

i feel emotionally horrid i am confused.

i wish i could tlak to someone that had a clue and didn' keep tryng to stuff any-ol-pill don me or minimize everything or attack my "timing." (happening at home).

Dear Waves, :hug: :hug: :hug:

Lots of hugs.

I wish that your family could be more helpful.

The med changes you and your pdoc made can take effect soon.

I hope that your staying home and using self care can help.

M.

Waves,

I hope things start going better for you.
Feel better.
M.

I am sorry.....
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi:hug::hug:

Dear Waves,

We are here with you.:grouphug:
M.

Waves

I hope you are starting to level out. I also wanted to let you know
that if you are having sickness symptoms it will also effect the
depakote. So take that into consideration too.

Just give yourself time.

Donna:grouphug:

update
 

hi everyone

i have been wanting to try to uupdate but i confuse myself trying.

maybe i can boid down a couple things.

racing thoughts - worsening/not improving. hard to describe without getting tangled. but for instance i run words together somteimes when i read, and come up with something nonsnesical. then i read it again, and it's the same thing. in speech i replace words and phrases i guess by association or something.... and say things that make no sense. when i try to relax my fills with a whirled (world) of fragments speech sound image and they latch onto each other in funny ways. like splice in, or fork into two thoughts or remind me of something that reminds me of something that reminds me of something i can't remember but which is "the" theme ??? .... OK i will stop now. I SAID this would be confusing. it is also NOT PLEASANT.

sleep - all over the map, probably deprived due to coughing. perpetual dreaming when i do sleep, proably due to the deprivation. i am sure this is contributing to the racy brain too.

hyperness/drivenness, cokes and goes but seems to be mostly going.

the Depakote has given me light sensitivity the first few days when i step up the dose, but other than that i don't notice it. (i would LIKE to notice it MORE... as in rein in the brain, pretty please already????)

i still have fever. it comes and goes but today it was actually more steady.

not going to work tomorrow.

~ waves ~ sorry for spelling - just very tired.

thank you all so much for being here. :grouphug:

Dear Mari

thanks for your constance and well wishes and company. :) :hug::hug::hug:

Dear Bizi

good to see you.... welcome back? did you go to Indy? did your butt freeze off and have to be superglued back on? i hope you had a nice time. or maybe you didn't leave... is it for NY/birthday you are going? or that too?
:confused:

Dear Donna

thanks for the heads up....
have not had this happen in the past.... :confused
what have you seen? less/greater effect? other? are you concerned about interactions? i am not on "cold" meds or antibiotics for now.... just one herbal thing but suspending that too... should not have had time to interfere much. anyway.... pls advise as to your experience... thanks! :o

Dear Bobby

i see your thanks tags. :) thanks for reading. hang in there sweetie. sending love and good thoughts...

~ waves ~ have to sleep now. or i should say, start the nightly cycle of
.... doze-cough-rehydrate-cough-cough-cough-bathroom-cough-doze-cough-rehydrate....

ARGHHRRRRGGGRRRR:hissyfit:

p.s. addendum to the mood update - have been inordinately sensitive/sentimental and land in crying fits at the slightest emotional stimulus... eg something you'd normally go, "awwww that's so sweet..."

Waves,

Oh dear. This fever and respiratory thing sounds dreadful.
Sleep would help that and the mood. I pray the cough abates so that you sleep.
I hope you get better soon.

M.

dear waves, it sounds like the mania is getting worse.
I am sorry about this and am very sorry that you are coughing so. Running on high makes us more susceptable to getting sick IMO.
I know that you don't want to consider taking the zyprexa to treat the mania, not as a mood stabilizer but to use it to bring you back from the mania. Maybe just 5mg for one week?
bizi

Keeping track of days
 

Dear Waves,

You wrote this on Sunday night, Dec 19 (12-19-2010, 05:51 PM)

When did you start the Depakote? Thursday, Dec 17?

Today is Monday morning, December 27.
That might mean that you have taken 10 doses of Depakote.
How long does it take to kick-in? A little less than two weeks at the right dose?

Mari

i feel better today BUT
 

when i coughed what came up was emmm... much less pretty than what was coming up before.... :o

but, so far, no fever today. aha! so maybe the nasty goo has been sitting waiting for purging. if i am totally fever free today i will probably go to work tomorrow.

i did get more sleep but kept getting woken up by mom saying don't you need to call the doctor, can you get this out, are you going to work, don't you need to call work...bla bla blaRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fer cryin out lound i haven't slept more than an hour straight in weeks! finally i do and this is what happens!!! :Bang-Head:

~ waves ~

Zyprexa
 

Dear Bizi,

thanks for your support and all the hugs and here's some back for you :hug::hug::hug: you need them stuck up in that "weather" :eek: ;) hey, butcha know what, cold tends to reve up the metabolism... could come in handy for the diet program or to offset the goodies folks eat this time of year... but, i digress. or do i? (Zyprexa is a goody alright.:p)

Zyprexa
Yours is not a bad idea... i do bear in mind i have that stuff in the drawer. But as i have said before there are issues - will try to explain in more detail, and especially now:

i don't know if my pdoc would approve and he is away. pdoc gave it to me to use for sudden emergence of specific symptoms, specifically thought disturbances (or psychotic sx of any kind). of course, these are not always evident to the person experiencing them but i've usually had some sort of not-rightness or disorientation with beliefs, esp when it starts.

i guess racing thoughts can land you there, but as twisted as mine have been getting, it just seems to be a loud convoluted circus of loose circuits that do not alter belief systems. my subjective perception is that, while they hinder my thinking at times, so far, there is no contortion of thought.

for control in these conditions i feel that < 10mg would be a waste of drug, and i don't have enough to take 10mg qd until pdoc - nor do i want to take it for more than a week anyway (bunch of weight gain).


i am concerned about stopping it while back at work. been there, done that => paranoia, granted different situation - bad anxiety, but the anxiety is mounting due to this extended absence so i just don't know.

finally. if the physical stuff gets better, the sleep will get better. i believe if that gets better, the raciness will lose intensity. the lack of sleep is doing me in right now, but a knocker outer is not what i need, if i need to cough - better for me to wake up and get it out.

sorry for long spew.... :o :hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Depakote
 

Dear Mari,

650mg is too low. i've taken 800mg for 3 nights now... that should be effective but since this is treatment not prevention, i may yet need more. seems to me it acts pretty fast - (maybe a week going on recollection?) once you hit the right dose. but we don't know what the right dose is. i have plenty of pills. i can go up to a gram on that and pdoc will not mind. my boss might mind when i start not to be able to add, but that tends to creep in slowly.... so....

feel pretty clear headed right now but like i said comes in bouts. now i need to go wash dishes, wash myself, make lunch oh wait i just did (hence dishes!), oh... work on the pants-alteration-project and my folks' gift and other stuff that currently escapes me.... with my luck, probably has to do with washing something else. :rolleyes: wash-wash, wash-wash, wish-wash, wash-wash, whooooosh!!! :) oops! spilled the water!!! :p:cool::D

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Dear Waves,
I'm glad that the fever has done its thing and gone.

Good luck with the respiratory stuff. Feel better.
Yesterday, I read on crazy meds us that a rare side effect of Depakote is infection. I'm tossing that out to you -- but I think that you you have not been on the Depakote very long.
I ran across something earlier today about how the throat chakra can take a beating when we go through a change. Also, the throat chakra has a hard time when we can't speak up, have to hold back . . . (humor me here :cool:)

http://ancienthealing.org/article/a-...oat-chakra.php
You sound better in these posts. Is the hypo less hypo right now?

M.

Dear Mari

the stuff you posted about the throat chakra fits me to a T. i read something vague about that stuff a long time ago and think about it from time to time... in how how i am blocked from expressing myself.......... this the whole creative hole if you'll pardon the pun.

thanks for info on depakote/infection... good to know although in my case it was brewing before i started Depakote.

dunno where the mania is at. past the Christmas sentimentality which rendered things murky ...i thought maybe i was falling... or maybe it was frustration from the illness incapacitating me for a while....

now mood is chipperer than chipper. i am still rambunctious but having fewer (today none) of the holy guacamole i'm dead spells of crashing on the bed because of body caving in.

i am perpetually doing stuff and in a hurry. tonight i had scheds to do but i did extra stuff... got it wrong, got irked, fixed it, and then moved onto the important tast of shaving sweaters.... i had to desist at some point as i must go to bed. i am not totally unreasonable no, and i do know i need to get to bed. i am resisting the temptation to get on with the pants alteration thing.

in retrospect i see some weird stuff :

- i bought a bunch of useless dumb stuff - no, not expensive and tg i didn't have the plastic option. hose seems to be my "THING" this time around. (no earrrings or cards this time, wow!) it seems to get brought home and forgotten. i turned it up when i was looking for stuff to handwash.
- i turned what might have been supposed to be a 1/2 hour job? at work into a several day project :confused: i am still not sure what to do with that.... feel compelled to finish ... maybe i can finish fast? :p
- other stuff at work.... i know i was not right the last day i spent there. i hope tomorrow is ok. there is weird stuff going on with my boss ... i hope he is away so i can detach.

i mean, lately, i have been been shut in the house sick, and like really out of it despite the restlessness. that feeling was very uncofmrtable and frustrating but if you think about it it is somewhat containing. so yeah, i feel better now insofar as i feel lots more on top of lots of things (DON'T take that too many places please....;)). and i'm not having those recurrent crying fits which sucked.

yesterday i cooked up a storm. it was more than i could handle with a fever and yeah i keeled but hey.... food got cooked!

so, is the hypo/mania/"HIGH" better? ehhh... yeah, it's much better thank you - i am much more able to appreciate it now! :D

~ waves ~ hoping i don't buy more hose tomorrow... especially more that doesn't fit.

Waves
You seem to be writing a lot better. Hoping this is true.

Not exactly sure how to explain about the medication, and what
would happen. But with one son if he got sick, and had to sleep
it off. It was like he didn't take the depakote till he was well.
SOmething in his symtome was not recognizing the medication being
there. I am pretty sure he was taking it. Because I had to give it
to him.

I didn't really see these problems with the other one. But he had
problems with retrieving his thinking. But this was something that
was there at this point in his life either way.

Donna:grouphug:

thank you Donna - i guess i will try to park at 800mg until i see my pdoc.

i should hope my writing is guetting better considering how wiped out i was with the cold/bronchitis or whatever the nastie beastie is.

~ waves ~