starting a new thread
 

i don't get it but a lot of the time now when i click on my link i wind up in the parent's forum. let's see if it happens with a new thread.

i am still in panic mode and don't know how to get out of it. my eyes and nose are itchy and i walked the hall a few times with the walker and had a bit of trouble with balance.

Hopefully your PT will be back this week.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

good morning bobby,
so sorry about your pass word predicament hoping that Robert helps you.


love bizi

the p.t. is next week. i think my passwords okay. yesterday was the worse depression. the world is such a terrifying place. i can't stop watching the news.
love,
bobby

i forgot. i bought ceylon cinnamon for my blood sugar and other things. i spent a long time reading reviews. cassia cinnamon is dangerous.

Does Ceylon cinnamon help with weight loss?
If you're looking to lose weight, Ceylon Cinnamon might be your new best friend. ... While more studies need to be carried out on humans, the results do suggest that Cinnamon can actively promote your metabolism, making it an invaluable ingredient for those looking to maintain a healthy weight

Ceylon cinnamon is full of antioxidants, which help your body handle free radicals and lowers your risk of health conditions like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. Ceylon cinnamon is also rich in the mineral manganese. This mineral helps your body manage the enzymes that produce hormones and help repair your bones.Nov 9, 2020

Bobby

Keep up your e IN*SOURCE Waiver of Confidentiality and just start working on what your PT told you
to do. That will help even with the depression weird as it sounds.
It will help you keep on your feet, and show you that you can do
things again.

Also get back to reading your books. I think you will do great Just
remember to read and keep letting us know how you are.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

why do i need this?
Keep up your e IN*SOURCE Waiver of Confidentiality Never heard of it.
i am so very tired from lack of sleep. hard to do exercises. i didn't get a notice from ebay.. my computer might really have been screwed up after i changed password but too exhausted to do anything. then i thought i lost 300 dollars. so overtired. finally found it but wow did i panic.
putin is insane but i think it is so important to follow the news. we could have world war three.. poor biden. poor world.
love,
bobby

will you try cinnamon for your diabetes?

Donna was possibly multitasking for work and it was just a simple mistake.

How do you take the ceylon cinnamon? Is it a tablet? I always have cinnamon but it's just the spice jar kind for cooking. No diabetes here.

There are two people in my home. One is constantly watching the news and the other is not. This morning the one who is not watching constantly is calmer than the one who is constantly watching. I am not watching. The other is a ball of anxiety ridden mess and understandably so of course. <sigh> Gotta go out of the house. Daughter can drop me off at hospital for 30 mins as I need to get blood tests done. Hopefully that will help her get distracted.

take care there

I take it in a capsule. it sounds as if ceylon cinnamon is great for everything. make sure it is ceylon cinnamon and not the other.
I can't help but follow the news right now. I feel for your daughter.
pray your bloods are fine.
fondly,
bobby

Thanks for that information bobby.

We're home now. Just routine. All will be fine I'm sure. I just have to have a heap done before every treatment is all.

I am following of course, but I just can't read the minute by minute blogs on the news sites.

take care there. :hug:

Ugh Bobby

I honestly don't even know where that came from. Its something
I send to my parents. But I didn't click anything to send a link.
So were it came from to get on your thread I don't have a clue.

So Lara is right to a degree. I had to go back and look to see
what you were talking about. Ugh, that was a mess

Donna :hug::grouphug:

that sounds excellent, what type of heap do you all do./
fomdly,
bobby

don't worry about it Donna. no big deal. can you believe i am still watching the news.? i really help my depression. so nuts.
love
bobby

just bought two more tops.
posted on facebook how father became my hero.
and also my sex maniac friend who a guy i was beginning a relationship with told me to get rid of her because she tried to go after him. like a fool I didn't.
she had two illegal abortions in college and when she finally got married she
she couldn't have children but it was probably her husbands fault. they adopted two newborns and now she she is a grandmother.

i was so tired that i could only walk three laps and fell down and had such a hard time getting up. my legs are so weak. it just got worse.

what do you mean when you say laps?
like around your apartment?
just curious. sorry you fell again.
hate to hear this.
love bizi

i mean i just walk around the hall 4 times. there are four turns. i can't explain it any better. i was so upset. i seem to be going backwards. my stomach is really hurting. i am eating terribly. i had a bag of corn chips. i have no idea what to eat. i am being so self destructive. i had chocolate and jelly beans. was afraid my denture would break again or my tooth. very upset of my compulsive spending, i think i am losing it and frightened.
love
bobby

i just saw that flora posted on facebook where i had written about her sexual behavior. at least i didn't write that she had one friend who would her up on the bed and have sex or whatever with her. i don't know if she read my post.
i hope she did.

the other day i ordered groceries. that is the only way i can get them because of not walking. too tired to put them away even though a lot needed refrigeration. The next day or two i ate one. yesterday i just had chinese food and tea. much later i started with severe pains in my stomach and diarrhea which i still have. ordered some stuff from amazon cause i can't walk to the drug store. i am drinking a lot of water to try not to get dehydrated.i cancelled my physical therapy session. my walking has gotten worse.

Dear Bobby, from your last posts it sounds as if you're doing very poorly.
If possible, can you organize someone to come to see you in person and help you out a little bit today.

Is there anyone who can do that? They (and you) would need to be well and take precautions - covid etc.. Please call someone to come over even if it's just for a short time.

i just woke up and my stomach still hurts and I am nauseated. my only friend in the building was cecilia but she died a few months ago. Marcia is working. Robert said he would come over the past week but didn't and i don't want to call him. kathy and her husband who is also allergic to cats would be too cautious. zeynep has too many problems and alice and joyce and linda don't live in the city. i wouldn't dare call my young volunteer sam who does live in the city and of course aaron lives in wisconsin.
it is probably ibs. i hardly ever leave my apartment..
what a mess and of course i am depressed.
fondly.
bobby
my new physical therapy wrote me again and to try to relax-so sweet.

Glad that your PT was nice to you.
that is sweet.


have you tried any cognitive behavioral therapy before?
love bizi

he is a doll. the only thing therapy does for me is offer me support. If i drank, smoked or did drugs those would probably help with my depression, anxiety, irritability, over spending, trouble sleeping and over eating. my medications hardly work. it is a chemical problem. one of my psychiatrists said if i had been raised by different people it wouldn't have been so bad. i get relief when i can get into a book.
now things are so much worse. i have IBS which doctors can't help and i can't really walk.
Robert wrote and said he was too depressed. His extremely close friend whom he represented died, Her name was Joni James and was a very famous singer and her songs are timeless. She died at 92 and her songs are still played in commercials and movies.
love,
bobby

bipolar gets worse as you age. Thank God I am still sharp with a great memory. I love talking to my two 29 year old volunteers and keep up with them even though Aaron seems to know everything. Sam is very quick and bright. They are so kind and intellectually stimulating.
i have a wonderful caseworker, therapist, intern therapist. I have a fantastic internist who is humble and takes all the time for explanations. My cardiologist is also wonderful and kind.
I played a lot of sports into my fifties. I wasn't depressed or anxious when I was playing.
I am trying not to watch too much news but have a conflict. Even though it is now terrifying I feel I need to see what is happening. Is Putin crazy enough to start a nuclear war?

. Will we lose our democracy because off the racists and anti- Semites?

I forgot bipolar 2 people have the highest incidence of suicide of all the other mental illnesses.

Have you mixed up your days and nights for sleeping. this is awfully early of you or late. I am sorry about roberts loss. He is such a good man. And friend to you.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Bobby

I too am so sorry for Roberts loss. I am sad when we lose people we love
but its part of life. I am trying not to think about what Putin is up too.

I just live life and go through it without getting into his mess.

We all have to deal with him. I am sorry for the people of Ukraine.

But I'm glad I'm not there.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

i was up way before -my sleep is awful.
early i went downstairs to get the mail and i felt weak. sure enough i got back in the apartment and took a bad fall on my left leg. it was so painful. finally crawled to the phone and asked for help to get on the bed. three workers came up and with difficulty got me on the bed where i stayed for 5 hours. then marci came. i was so thirsty and hadn't had my coffee. she had to call her coordinator who had to call 911. they came and wanted me to go to the hospital. i said no. they checked out the leg and told me to stand on it. i was terrified because of the pain when i tried to stand on it. it was so much better. marci is helping me to use the walker and get back to the bed.

bobb,
I am so sorry that you keep falling and hurting yourself. I think it is time for one of those emergency buttons "I have fallen and I can't get up".
what if you broke something and had to wait until some one came to see about you. carry the phone at least with you.
love

bizi

i crawl or will get knocked out so i couldn't use the button. i have to figure out the phone. don't you dare mention it again. i get furious. i am on a tight budget.
i didn't sleep much and i can hardly walk.my leg and ankle hurt so much. the p.t. will come on friday.
this was bad.i can't carry coffee with walker.

Bobby

I'm not going to mention it, but just wanted you to know that its
going to go off when you fall. Also you might want to look into
the apple watch. There is one that will tell 911 when you fall and
don't answer or something like that. I'm looking into one for
me and Derrick. Right now I'm trying to find out if its going to
be okay with his vns most will not work with the vns.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

vns = Vagal Nerve Stimulator

I think the basic ones cost about $30 a month. won't mention it again, except the spending of your money on the computer for clothes tops, things in general that you call manic spending.
I say this with love,:hug:
bizi

i got today three of my tops. they are beautiful

i just ordered more eggs but i will but them in a microwave container. i can't do them water. so now i will have food.
as usual another super conversation aaron. i think tonite sam will call

Bobby

I wish they were able to call you later in the week. When Marcie
isn't there with you. But I realize they can't call when you
are by yourself.

Please be careful. And keep your phone with you.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

i am still so furious. i hate to be reminded of my mother and i hate to be nasty and mention all the damage people do to themselves and show no sympathy for being bipolar. it sucks big time. i am proud that i don't take the easy way with smoking, drinking and drugs. i read half Bipolar people do and destroy their brain.. who wants to lose their memory? or their mind?
had great session with my therapist. she asks a lot of questions and never talks about herself or lectures to me.
had an awful talk with linda. at first she kept on expressing sympathy and then she started talking about herself and the clothes her mother had her wear when she was young. so boring.
i cut out off zeynep who usually talks about her problems and all the suffering in the world. i told her about my recent fall and difficulties. it is so hard trying to use a pot to go the bathroom and being tired of just ordering chinese food besides the pain and trouble walking.
my stocks did well.
as usual aaron was wonderful and explained his leg injuries when he was a running and gave me advice. we were both thrilled to see all the support ukraine.He and his wife are worried because her parents live in Ukraine.
i forgot if i said alice told me not worry about money. we also had fun creating a hit list like trump, putin,ted cruz and others. i told my therapist and she asked if we would do it and i laughed and said of course not it sure was fun creating it.

as usual i had a great conversation with sam. we talked about marriage and what he should look-stability in the person. that is what i told him because his mother is bipolar 2 and he had a lot of trauma. he knows how many unhappy marriages there are.. he know when they don't even have sex. weird.
he said that he has three uncles and one never married and is the happiest.he spends a lot in nature and just loves it. sam said he is now in his seventies and found a women he really enjoys. i thought that was neat.
i did tell him a lot about my disastrous relationships and that i felt good i didn't marry. he kept on encouraging me to talk more about myself and said he so looked forward to next tuesday when we will talk again.
i don't know if i will get another aide on thursday. marci if she isn't or not working late she will over saturday. what an angel. i am blessed.

Bobby

Sounds like you had an eventful day. Its to bad, that some of those
people don't call on a different day. Not that I don't want them to
call. But you are so busy this one day of the week. You need
someone to call a different day. Maybe it just seems that way
to me.

I wish I had a answer for you but I don't.

Have a great day.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

out of control. i keep on wondering how much bizi has spent on all her drinking.
i am having another aide tomorrow. my leg is still killing me and i have slept most of the day but listened to news all night yesterday.
need to find a camisole for one of my gorgeous tops.
just bought one at a great price.

i am just worried about everything. i wonder if my leg will heal. i have to walk in snail steps and have an impossible time shifting down the bed,.
i just triple checked my credit card payment. i guess i am paralyzed with fear.
I started getting allergies to my kitties after i had the booster. my eyes and nose are itchy when they are near me
i made a cup of coffee and carried it in a closed mug. i want another one but if i do that won't have the strength to get back to the bed.
i just wish i weren't so scared and hurting. still watching the news.

Bobby

If you look back in the memory you will probably find this is the
time of year your allergies always start to kick in. I don't think
its so much to the kitties, as to the time of year. Its March and
spring is around the corner. So order something to help the
itchiness and the other symtoms. Even a lotion for the itchy will
help. And when it comes to the walking just keep working on
it.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

i got them right after the booster and of course bought things already. i was hoping they would go away by now. i also started having trouble spelling too.
i guess you didn't read it carefully. i just added spelling too.
you also made another mistake and you posted to my thread and it was for somebody else. i am a bit concerned. should you go to a doctor?