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A Question about a neighbor.................
I have a relatively NEW neighbor, across the hall. She is Probably in her early 20's. She lives alone and she has Sickle Cell Anemia.
Here's the problem. She "SCREAMS" once in a while, like she is being MURDERED! :eek: I have spoken to her about it and she SAID she would stop doing it. That very day she did it again AND again later that day. The following day she did it a few more times SO I EMailed the owner of the building BECAUSE it was about 8 A.M. on a Sunday morning and she did it again, 3 or 4 times WITH her windows open. Not only did it ECHO in the hall BUT it ECHOED off the houses across the street. Now this isn't just a loud voice Yelling something, this is a Banshee, NUCLEAR type of screaming like she was being tortured or giving birth or something to that effect. That very next day I asked her AGAIN to stop it with all the Screaming and she said she would stop. Not 2 hours later she was at it again and woke me up from a nap. I called the owner and told him. Now, here's the thing. She actually put a huge note on HER door telling anyone who read it "NOT TO "SNITCH" on her to the landlord. Now since I had already spoken to the owner and she keeps doing it, what would YOU do about this?? The owner told me other people in the building have also said something about this to him. When I read the note yesterday I thought to myself that THIS isn't the Playground here. She doesn't make the rules. I don't PAY the rent I pay here to listen to what sounds like someone being killed. I think she has a THINKING problem. |
hmmm any mention of tourettes, not sure if screaming is a sx but i do know they get real loud and vocal, wish i had an answer, maybe call the police and report it, i just heard my neighbor scream real loud sounds as if she is being hurt let her explain her actions to the police, i dont know Wii
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I'm with Frank, does she have a disorder that causes these screams?? I know that wouldn't make the noise any easier on you but at least you could be more sympathetic and maybe work with her about it.
I know I feel sometimes like screaming from the pain but wouldn't want to scare the neighbors. LOL, throwing something soft sometimes makes it easier to bear.!?!?!?!?!?!? Good luck with your dilemma! |
I really don't know if the screaming has anything to do with her condition BUT when she does have PAIN episodes she does go into hospital for a few days or a week. But still, when she has screamed this way she didn't GO so I am thinking she is just doing it because she feels like it.
We'll just have to see if this continues and becomes a problem. considering HER bedroom window is on the U shaped alley of the buiding where ALL the other apts bedrooms are located. She wakes up enough other people and there IS going to be more problems. Some people just won't put up with it and will move OUT, the owner SHOULD realize this and make her stop. |
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Perhaps investing in those stadium air horns would be a nice way to repay her kindness. ;) |
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Yes, it IS ridiculous behaviour AND plus the fact she gets Upset with the people she disturbs is really Outrageous. I think she also has an Attitude problem. Yes, from now on when I hear the Screams I WILL call 911. maybe that'd shut her up. she did it once really late at night and I thought I was going to have a heart attack it scared me so much and it was SO LOUD!!!! :eek: I had another neighbor once about 6 or 7 years ago, with 2 little girls. These two played a game of running up and down the hall, slamming every door along the way and flushing the toilet at the end then running back and doing it again. They would play this game for HOURS. I mentioned it to the Mother once and she just Giggled. :eek: And replied to me, "Yes, we ARE a noisy family". She thought it was "Cute". AND this continued until they FINALLY moved OUT!!! :D I kind of had to put up with it since they WERE the building managers. http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/im...onsb/crazy.gif |
Wiix, if you have a minute, go to youtube and punch in anything with the word "neighbor", you'll feel better instantly!
Also, there are "lousy nieghbor" sites all over the net. Maybe you can find her out there someplace!:D |
Very simple solution.
Get a tape recorder. Now this might inconvenience you at times. I would get one that is voice activated. put it nearest to a window that is open (and can get the best sound). Let it tape her whenever she does this. I DO NOT THINK this is related at all to Tourettes. She's have to be such a serious case of Tourettes. (I know people and they curse, and they have tics, but to scream on a daily basis??? No). She might be mentally ill. She might also (and don't think this doesn't happen), she might be one of those people who let's off steam when under stress and they do it by SCREAMING!!! She might also be doing this to get attention. Negative attention to be sure, but this would make her seriously mentally ill. You can get a petition going signed by all the neighbors and bring it to your landlord. It's only a matter of time before someone bops her on the head for doing this as many times as she has done this. I've had problems with neighbors with noise. Teenagers playing their computer speakers so loud my whole house shakes. The people downstairs (in their 80's) were once so upset they wanted to put a garden hose into the back window and flood the kid's room. I had to stop them. They were going nuts. People don't like noise. Young people think it's funny. IT'S NOT FUNNY, THIS I KNOW. I wonder, when you asked her to stop, did she give you ANY EXPLANATION AS TO WHY SHE DOES THIS?? People cannot live like this, next to someone who screams at the drop of a hat. There are things at play here that, well, you might have to get to the bottom of. At least your landlord has to get to the bottom of it. But try taping this (so you have PROOF), just in case you need to call the police. I don't think she's breaking any noise ordinances unless she does this after 10 p.m. in the evening. But states vary with the laws. Best of luck. I've been there and it's not fun. melody |
Wiix
It may be due to the medication she is taking for the Sickle Cell, which can cause mental disturbances and illness. Maybe she is screaming from the pain but wants to stay in her own bedroom instead of a hospital ward. My nephew suffers from Sickle Cell, and it's very painful. :( I have pain due to neuropathy. When those shocks come, there's no way I can hold in a scream when it feels like I have firecrackers exploding in my arms/legs. I try to stay on guard and braced for the "attacks," but sometimes they catch me off-guard. :o My neighbors are understanding, and so far have not formed a lynch mob to remove me from the community. Have you ever spoken to her as a neighbor (i.e., non-confrontational) and asked why she screams so loud? Have you or any of your neighbors rushed to her side in an attempt to calm her fear/pain that is causing her to scream? My neighbor cares for her husband at home. He was a previously healthy man who suffered a massive heart attack at the age of 46 five years ago and remains in a coma completely unresponsive. Her now 7-year-old daughter has become a handful because she misses her daddy. She screams a lot too, but I wouldn't have the heart to call the police on my neighbor. :( My other neighbor has a Pomeranian we've all named "Sir Barks-A-Lot" because he barks non-stop whenever he's outside. She has cerebral palsy and lives alone. We all know how much she loves that dog, so we put up with the constant barking. We also put up with hearing her beg her dog to come back into the house. I tried to help her once during a tornado warning, but I only made the situation worse. Then again, maybe I didn't make it worse. After I walked away, little Sir Barks-A-Lot trotted happily into the home after "defending" his turf. :D |
screaming can be a Tourette tic and it would IMHO be very wrong to call 911 or report someone for having a tic, IF that is what it is.
TS tics are involuntary neurological motor and vocal I would think that rather than just asking her to stop, or "reporting" her.....perhaps try to find out "why?" JMHO |
I have a question...
sickle cell= this neighbor is a different race than you? Is your complex mixed? Diverse? Do you know if she is alone when screaming? Do you know for a fact that she is alone? Perhaps not?
If she is in the minority I would be VERY CAREFUL what you do. I would NOT retaliate in kind with another noise maker. But I would log the times/dates that the screams happen. And I would think about this for a while, before acting further. Taping the screams would help if you make a complaint. If after a week or so, the screaming continues, I'd ask her if she needs "help" with something. One never really knows what others are capable of. So I hope this is not a manipulative thing she is doing, to create a fuss, and then a law suit, etc. Some people live off law suits! |
YES, I do know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Without going into too many details here in the thread. I have dealt with "People" like that before, MANY times but they don't usually stay very long. This kind of thing is only a reflection of their Personality/character. Their Motives are Always in question. I am and will be careful and protect myself IF I have to.
It's funny how we all think that "Social" Interaction is alright until it is TOO up close and personal AND destructive. The "Balance" here shifts from time to time and when it is more of One than the other then things DO get dicey and sketchy and the Police are here WAY too much. It HAS already been WELL over a week that this has been going on, more like a couple months. |
I wonder if I can share a story as well, but I do NOT want anyone else to FEEL bad...
I am with Chemar and KM... first of all, I have Tourette Syndrome. I have very loud, BARKS....when I was in college...I had to move a lot cause I can only afford places with thin walls (apts, trailers) dorms were outta the question. I got kicked out my first week cause I kept the whole building up...literally... And I DON'T blame anyone else cause I KNOW that they would need to sleep....I wondered if I could've kept my tics in check. First time living out of my parents' house and stuff... well, it made everything worse. I barked every two minutes...Kept everyone up... I was so embarassed that when they'd ask me to leave, I left without even challenging anyone... then I becamse a gypsy, living from friend to friend, lease to lease...everyone was almost always too happy to see me leave until I found a cheap house that is kind of secluded. My roommates didn't care because I was so afraid to live alone that I'd offer to pay for their rent, food, and utility bills...anyways, didn't wanted to get into a sad story here and I DON'T want to tell anyone to NOT call 911...not my place... And my wife takes care of a lot of people with sickled cell disease. It is very painful and they get cold and I remember she telling me a few of her patients would moan or yell when she was taking care of them. I'll have to ask her about that. I think the girl might be defensive for a few reasons: 1) she may have been asked to move a few times already and is weary 2) she doesn't know how to explain her pain perhaps maybe she has explained it before and still was asked to move and may be running out of options 3) she may be fearful that once she explains why she does it, people would look at her funny even though they already are... 4) she could just be a total heartless ****** once again, I don't want to condemn anyone for being annoyed and wanting to get her back. I can understand that myself even with my own disability... but I would ask that if you have enough patience, to maybe talk to her about it, tell her that you post at a neuro forum and that you understand about disorders and such...maybe she'll open up to you... :hug: |
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I have learned NOT to get too involved with "Some" neighbors. It ALWAYS ends badly. I did have to stop opening my door to her. She Borrows things then won't give them back. AND a painting I had hanging in the hall disappeared last week. I went out and wrote "Thief" on the wall where it was in magic marker. So if it was her or anyone who goes to visit her they will be reminded. That painting was there for over 3 years. Only people who come up here, top floor, are my visitors and hers. I didn't HAVE any visitors during that time but SHE had MANY so she KNOWS the person who took it or it was her. She won't be here very long, I can tell things are going downhill quickly. |
wm, I understand about Touretts. This isn't like that. I have heard those kinds of yells. This is different, more deliberate and NOT regular. I do think she does it on purpose but I could be wrong. IF I see her again and it is still happpening I will ask her WHY she does this.
I failed to mention this before but when she first moved in, the first few weeks, she was doing something else. I will explain. She was dressed up like she was going out to a club or to church, I mean really dressed up very nicely, long skirt, etc. BUT, then she was out on our street, walking up and down for hours, stopping cars and talking to people. I mean aggressively stopping cars. The next day a parade of men were in and out of her apt. One or two at a time and this went on ALL day. She did this 3 or 4 times different days. NOW, WHAT would YOU think of this behaviour?? |
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ummmmm...that she's trying to sell herself on ebay?? LOLOLOL do what you need to do, girlfriend! did you get the new Super Mario Brawl???? I might invest in a WII later this year :hug: |
Wiix
when my son had a screaming tic it was an ear piercing shrill scream not a yell or a yelp...it lasted about a month then never returned but it was probably one of the tuffest tics for him, us and our neighbors to endure. He was horribly embarrassed by it and, as with all TS tics, the more he tried to suppress it the worse it got:( and this was during the time when he was on medications for TS............................ sorry but TS vocal tics can be very varied and not all manifest the same, so I dont see how you can say "this isnt like that"...how would you possibly know whether she has TS if you havent asked? there are other conditions that may also be causing this too just because she may have some odd or questionable behaviors, doesnt mean she can help the screaming. If she does in fact have TS then she is protected by the Americans with Disabilities act and should not be punished for something she cannot help |
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As a grown person, she is still responsible to live according to community standards. If she is unwell or mentally challenged, she should seek a community where her behavior will not disrupt the peaceful existence of other residents. It's basic, common courtesy. |
If this is medical, shouldn't there be a medicine to keep her from screaming? Why should everybody else have to put up with it? I wouldn't want to do that to others around me... What a sticky situation.
It sounds to me more like psychosis or something by your description of her overall behavior. I think I'd also call 911 whenever it happens. At least then she'll eventually get the help she needs if it's a medical problem (hopefully, anyway.) |
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It's NOT like we have a Hostile co-existence here. I have been friendly towards her. I even took her cat when she went into hospital for a week. I did ask her WHY she moved from where she came and got sort of a vague answer. This may be the reason. IF she has a mental problem or physical that causes her screaming, living HERE is not going to fly. This is a very quiet building with high ceilings, hardwood floors and marble hallways so sound TRAVELS Immensely. This IS going to be a problem for her and those who live around her. She does need to be somewhere else, not here. This will only end badly I think.
It isn't MY fault so please don't blame me for reacting to this as any Normal person would. |
Well...
If men are coming and going and this worries you too, I'd stroll outside and look at license plates and write them down in your log that is keeping track of the screams. I would be discrete about it so as not to arouse suspicions.
Do you know her full name? Does she go to work every day? How old is she? Family? living alone? I'd try and Google her, and also check the free public records for your state and county. It is amazing what a person can find out these days! ;) For a small fee you can even find out if she has a criminal record. Since it has been 2 months already, a welcome wagon approach would be awkward. I for one don't think your neighbor has a medical reason like Tourette's. I just get a feeling about this at this point. But keeping yourself busy with the log and documentation is one way to keep yourself less anxious about it all... acting is always better than reacting. |
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I guess I could look at her mailbox. |
Does she have a boyfriend::o ? I once lived with someone whos girlfriend
was really loud when they were "friendly" together.:o:o:confused: Just a thought , Good luck.:) |
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you did post this as a "question" and so all are just answering from their own perspective. for me, the "normal" way to handle this would be to first try to find out possible reasons, rather than just telling someone to stop it or report them. Justasking "do you have Tourette syndrome and is there a reason why you scream so loudly? I am concerned for you" should IMHO let you get an idea of what is going on I sure DO understand how this could get to you....just trying to explain how it might be from her side too, IF this is illness or disorder related.:o I guess living with a son and husband who have disorders that cause them to be very misunderstood has made me hypersensitive to the plight of others. |
Someone said something about calling 911. You can get in trouble by calling 911 over & over but you 'could' tell them there must be something wrong, she just screamed. Next time tell them she screamed again & you are getting very worried'. This way you have a ligitamate (sp) reason for calling them & she's the one that will be warned then ???.
I think this is how it works. |
well, I was on my way to take a break...
but I wanted to assure you that I was NOT being sarcastic... these were my points: 1) I've been on that end. But I understand that others need their sleep. So I choose to find a place that I can live in. It is VERY hard to find a neighborhood that you DON'T bother. And what if someone has TS and can't afford to live in a nice secluded neighborhood but can only afford low income housings? How do we become courteous by NOT being able to help our tics when NO meds would helP? I was homeless for 2 weeks cause I wasn't able to find a place that would let me stay. But hey, that's MY sad story... 2) most people with TS or disorders that others "look" at develop a sense of DEFENSE. It's natural. Get asked a hundred times a day about "what's wrong with you" you get tired of answering it. Get teased at 100 times a day makes you tired of even talking about it. 3) I got threatened quite a few times with people wanting to beat me up cause of it, I guess for that, I am in even more fear of exposing myself. I would always used to tell them that I have a really bad allergy. But it was just a lie and making things worse it's one thing to be teased. It's another thing when someone says that you are hitting on their girlfriend cause you happen to have eye tics. It is something different when you bark or make loud noises and someone says that you are annoying the hell outta them and that you'd be shut up or I am going to kill you... So, this is how I live...I choose to work for myself and rarely go out...but I CHOSE that life...nobody chose it for me...and I BLAME no one else for it. There was a time when I was truly angry with everyone and the society and the world...but that's not me any longer...I try to find that body/mind connection and try to connect myself with the world through the www these days...and I've met tons and tons of wonderful folks. The solidifys my belief that the world is a LOT better than I realized... I think there are many sides to this... IF you are able to find out what she has, if it is neuro related. She might be open to the fact that you belong to a neuro place and might open up to you. But you DON'T have to do that, that ISN'T your job Meds don't always help with tics. If they did, TS and Parkinsons would be cured... IF she's screaming because of her sickled cell, then, maybe by showing her that you understand and care, she might open up to you as well. But you DON'T have to do that, that ISN'T your job... But if she's selling herself on the street and making OTHER noises. That's different. I was joking about cause Nappy and I were having fun with the bot thread about bot's sister selling herself on Ebay. I never mean any harm and if I was being sarcastic and mean, trust me, you'd know it. Oh well, I am pretty weary myself and need to get myself outta here...I just didn't wanted to leave that you thought I was being sarcastic? I can totally understand your situation... GOOD LUCK IN WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, in ALL sincerety |
Wow!!! wm. That was a complete turnaround on your part. :eek: Your First post made me sort of NOT like you, the second shed a whole new and different light on who you are. :eek: I wouldn't think those posts TWO were the same person.:o
:hug: I am getting a whole education on people with Tourette's in here BUT I don't think that is my neighbor's problem. It Really has to Suck to have this problem. If I had it and was reacted to by society in general the way it's being described here, I would probably think about a detatched home somehow, AWAY from other people. The fact that I was bothering someone whether I could control it or not would probably bother me too. I once designed a group living type home that would cater to something like that. I titled it "The Spoke". I wish I had saved that drawing so I could show you but I threw it out Long ago. It had a central HUB/Common area but each individual living space for ONE person connected to this HUB by a corridor and each living space was Super Sound Proofed with grass and gardens inbetween each POD. The entire structure looked, from above, like a bicycle wheel. That's why I named it "The Spoke". I was into designing unusual living spaces at the time and did many Round homes. It was just a phase BUT IF I had the resourses to implement such a thing, I'd do it. :winky::hug: How nice that would be. :rolleyes: |
Wii, did you know Who Moi also designs interior spaces? He's really good at it and was helping Twinkletoes with ideas on building wheelchair accessible housing. How cool is that? You both have something in common. :D
Ok, back to your situation. I don't have any advice except to maybe try and talk to your neighbor. I wouldn't start calling 911 without trying to get to know her first. Know for sure that she doesn't have an illness causing her screaming. If I called 911 on someone only to find they were sick, I'd feel just awful. The scariest part is what if the one time she screams, she really needs help, and no one calls because they are used to it? Scary. |
LOL not only does who moi design interior spaces but he also befriends lonely Bots :D
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread47999.html I think the moral of the story here to me is get to know folks before we assume we know all about 'em :grouphug: |
What's a "Bot"??? :confused:
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Oh and just so you know, she just screamed again.
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we have our very own NewsBot on Headline News Forum here the thread I linked above is a lighthearted one on CFF forum about NewsBot |
Gotcha. ;) GoogleBot. :D
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"The next day a parade of men were in and out of her apt. One or two at a time and this went on ALL day."
Does she scream when the men are there??? HELLOOOOOOO!!! Am I the only one who is thinking along these lines?? |
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Oh Yea. :eek: I think she was alone over there last night and the Screaming continued. |
This thread reminds me....
of a funny story.
When my son was living in a dorm when he was a freshman in college, he was "shy" about going to the bathroom with other men. (he is an only child). One day he was sitting on the toilet and two Asian students came in and were talking to each other thru the stalls in their language (he thought they were Korean). Then he heard them doing their business and at the same time they both started to scream! And I mean SCREAM....that totally freaked him out. :yikes: He finally discovered, when going to the Korean and Thai restaurants that there is a red paste condiment made from very hot peppers that is very popular on some dishes. So when he tried, it HE GOT the flaming butt effects too! We were just talking about this over the weekend when he came to visit...we still get a laugh out of it! |
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