Cyst talk, and Buspar Wow is it helping my anxiety...
 

Talk about female reproductive problems.











Well if you didn't know already, I have an ovarian mass, I forsee them removing the ovary since the health dept nurse seemed to think that was the way the dr would lean, and she mentioned uterine lining ablation, which is where they essentially burn off the uterine lining because of uncontrolled bleeding which I thought was preimenapause but it might not be. They are set to biopsy it the 6th and I was really freaking out about this last week. :(

I decided to start the buspar and risk it. OMG it is really amazing stuff! I like how it's keeping me calm, I am up to 20 mgs a day now, taking 12.5 mg in the AM and 7.5 mg in the afternoon. I am slpwly weaning down off the lorazepam and the biggest thing I needed that drug for was to combat the physical symptoms of anxiety, which the buspar is preventing from happening. I am still getting anxious, like yesterday I kinda had a PSTD attack that tried to happen when I saw two motorcycles riding side by side which is what Jack and I did that fateful day, and normally that sets me off shaking and my stomach drops and I feel like curling up into a ball.

Well yesterday I was able to just go, "No, no, no, go away" and it did! Deep breathing the whole time of course, but not hyperventilating. I am very pleased with the Buspar so far, it's really working wonders for me for both PSTD (which is is used to treat in addition to the anti-anxiety effects) and my out of control anxiety. I still feel anxious but not having the physical symptoms which is GREAT! I can will the anxiety away so much better now. I went three days with no lorazepam and had to take 1/2 of one Sunday to help with stomach twitchieness I attribute to withdrawal. So I will keep working the lorazepam that way for awhile then go down to 1/4 tablet (of a 1 mg tablet) and see how it goes.

I am feeling a lot better and just had to post to let you all know since I was freaking out the last post I made. Doing a LOT better now, if only I can get through the next phases of my 'treatment' for this ovarian mass okay I'll be fine. I am gonna be getting a depopravara (however you spell it) shot when I go in the 6th for the biopsy to make sure I don't end up pregnant and hopefully it will help with the bleeding problems. I am having pain in my sides and not sure if it's because I know now that something is up on that right side and the left is ovulating or what, but it's real pain, sharp twinges...usually when I bend over so I am trying to take it easy. The 6th can't be done and over with soon enough for me...

Pam

Not sure how big your cyst mass is. But I can totally tell you when that is gone it will feel lots better. That is the thing they took out for me when I had my gallbladder out. I had been living with it for over 2 years. It started really small and got bigger and very painful for me. And they thought I was crazy,
it was supposedly still small. Until it was out, and then the OBGYN said, it was
considered bigger than they wanted to leave in. She sure made me feel good
about my pushing to have it out.

I'm so glad you are going to get this out. I'm sending hugs, and thoughts to
you. And glad the burspars, oops can't spell it. Heehee is working.

Donna

Thanks Donna! I hope to get it out ASAP, no clue on time frame since I have not been referred to the dr yet, but that should happen on the 6th. I can't wait to get it OVER with...

I hope they can get this out quick for you Pam and everything turns out okay. You definitely don't need any more on your plate right now. :grouphug:

Thanks BJ, How are you doing? Things going better? :)

Edited to add: Oh BJ, I am so sorry you're going through so much pain, I just read the whole Dear BJ thread and posted, I haven't been able to because of my emotional state as of late before the buspar, but I really want you to know I admire you hun. :hug: Thank you for trying to offer me comfort, that's so kind of you. :hug:

Dear pammie,
I don't understand about the depoprevara shot?
why risk that?
HOrmones can effect us.
I contribute my first episode with the shot that I had, it made me manic.
now that is jsut me but I would really think hard before having that shot.
jsut my opinion, I will never take hormones..
beth

ps I am so happy to hear that you like the buspar!!!!!!!!

I used to take hormones as birth control in my younger years and it never affected my mood. They want to make sure I am NOT pregnant when they go to do the surgeries. I have never had Depo before so I just hope it's okay. I really am doing better but I am still pretty emotional about all this. :( Just not as heavily intensely feeling it like I was before the buspar. The physical symptoms of anxiety were knocking me on my butt and the buspar helps keep that at bay. Thank God for it. :)

I was 32 when I had my first hospitalizaton, Couldn't they just give you a months dose of the pills, the shot last 3-4 months in you system.
just concerned here and I won;t say anything more about it.
beth

Maybe I will ask for just that, I have no problem taking meds daily, I could do that...They just want to be sure I am not pregnant after all, not throw me into a manic fit, although this news itself did that...Thanks for bringing it up Beth, really, I hadn't given it much thought, I think I will tell them I have BP II and am worried it will trigger mania when compounded with the procedures I have to go through. :-/

Dear Pam,
It sounds like several things are going on.
Even one would be too many perhaps.
Keep yourself balanced.
And keeping holding on.
Mari

I know Mari, it is too much, and even just dealing with the cyst alone is too much mentally. 4 mm is the size of a pea and scary enough to cope with, let alone the thought of surgery to get rid of it. I am running scared, that's for sure. I hope that I can get through the biopsy okay. Having second thoughts about the tube issue, reading that women who've had htat done are more prone to getting these cysts, so I definitely don't want it done now. I guess it's condoms for us...So scared...All I can say is thank God for the buspar, I would be a sniveling mess otherwise with my stomach in knots and my heart racing all the time. :(

thinking of you pammie,
(((((HUGS)))))
beth

I am so glad that you are having a better day, It sounds great about the Buspar, I never took it or knew much about ti. I have not had money for my Lexapro for anxiety/panic for a month now and really need something to take the edge off.

I had the uterine ablation several yars ago for the same reason. I had it done as a D&C under versed. Never had ovarian problems. After that procedure I did take the depo provera shots even though I had my tubes tied.

I hope that everything is much improved after they tinker around and tune ya up.
Hugs
di

One thing I am worried about is the Depo shot messing with my head emotionally. Did you find it was okay or were you triggered into depression and increased anxiety with the depo shot? I am afraid that many years down the road ovarian cysts will develop on my remaining ovary if I let them tie the tube. I don't know quite what to do, I wish I knew one way or another if I was truly in perimenapause or not.

Thank you for the reply Di, and thanks for the hugs. :hug: Thank you too Beth! :hug:

Pam,
Did a MD give you advice about your options?
It seems that you should not have to figure this out on your own.

M.

No it was a Nurse or Nurse Practitioner, not sure which, I'll have to ask. Anyway once they do the biopsy I will be referred to the doctor (gyn) and she will be able to give me a better idea of what I can do, though I am leaning towards letting them give me some form of birth control, I just don't know what yet. I really do not know what to think about the cyst, and if they will be able to remove it and save the ovary, I don't know. They probably will try but it might be better to remove it so it doesn't come back. :(

Well we did the biopsy this morning, it hurt like heck, really bad menstral cramping and weird feeling on the cervix as they put this clamp thing on it to keep it from moving...UGH! IT stinks, BUT it's OVER! I got through it, now to see what's next, I get results soon, next week she's gonna call me, then refer me to the dr (obygyn) and I'll meet with her and see how it's all gonna go down with treatment. I just pray this lining thing isn't endomentrial cancer or the precusor of it, or I might end up having to have a hystrectomy. I am still scared, but half the battle is over, the dreaded biopsy is DONE! :)

Dear Pam,
I'm glad to hear your news.

You're right. Half the battle is over.
It's good that that part is over for you.

I keep hoping for you that the next part is going to go well.

Take care.
M.

THanks Mari! I feel real good today considering what I went through yesterday. I will post again to let everyone know the results. :) I've been real busy with keeping Jackie entertained. LOL! :D

OMG I just read the ultrasound report, it's NOT 4 Millimeters, it's over 4 CENTIMETERS! OMG I am really freaking out on this one....Oh man I want this out of me! *sobs*

!!
 

Dear Pam,
I hear you. I really do. And this news is a little scary.

But remember that they already plan to take it out.
It's all part of your plan.
You and your docs know it is there AND you and your docs plan to take it out.

Try to keep taking this stuff one step at a time and keep trust in yourself and in the docs.
You are doing a good job.
M.

You're right, I know you're right, but i just feel so upset knowing the size is that much bigger then what I originally thought I heard her say. I hope to God it doesn't rupture before they can get it out. Please God, let it stay intact for them to remove it...Amen!

Thanks for caring Mari, it helps to know I have friends who care so I am not facing this all on my own. *hug* :hug:

I've been gone visiting, first I've seen this.

Pam

You are going to do just fine. Remember that if it were something they felt needed out right away they would have it out.

The fact they are moving is great.

Donna

Thanks Donna, if I wasn't feeling something inside my side I would be in a better way to relax, but I am feeling something there and it's freaky. I feel crappy today because it's day three on the progesterone BC pills. Feeling like a migraine is coming and I won't be able to take them tomorrow. Oh well, can only do what you can only do. Trying to get through this as best as I can...*shivers*

NO Cancer! Halleluiea! I am so relieved. They found uterine polyps though, but I figure ablation will get rid of them too, we'll have to see what the oby'gyn doc wants to do for me. :) I knew you'd all want to know and I only found out a few hours ago. Thank God! :D

Wow!!!!
this is fantastic news thanks for sharing ...
when are you going to have the ablation done?
beth

Pam,
This is fabulous news. :)
M.

Pam
Great news,

And it will be over sooner than you know now.

Donna

Not sure Beth, I think that is what they are going to want to do because of the bleeding for six months so far. I see the oby'gyn doc the 4th of Sept. so I will let you all know how it goes then. It's not so far away. :)

Thanks for all your awesome support! You all are awesome! :grouphug:

you have had a period for 6 months :eek:or the ablation will cause that?
I was thinking of getting one done.
beth

Yep, off and on almost continuiously since Feb. THe ablation will stop periods, because the uterine lining is removed permanently. I just broke off the rest of that darn tooth that broke a month ago, I am so upset! I don't know what to do! THey can't fit me in sooner...*Sobs*

wow poor you with the 6 months of periods and now your tooth, I am sorry they can't see you any sooner.
I hate that for you.
((((HUGS))))
beth
you could be anemic which can totally effect your moods, have you had a blood check lately?

Sending you some hugs Pam.

Please get checked for anemic.

Donna

They did a check for anemia when they did the biopsy and I was not anemic. So that's a good thing. I have been bleeding hard since yesterday afternoon. I wish I felt better, the back is hurting relly badly this morning and yesterday. *Sigh* it's so hard to get out of bed some mornings. :(

Hugs and Prayers

I am sorry pammie,,,,glad that you are not anemic!
(((((HUGS)))))
may you heal as soon as possible.
beth

Dear Pam, :hug: :hug: :hug:
'Sending good thoughts.
M.

Man I am STILL bleeding! It's driving me up wall! I want it to stop and give me a freakin' break! I have to wait three more weeks before I can get in to see the oby'gyn dr. It's terrible! I want it over with. I am so down about it. I can't have anything like a tampon last longer then two hours, it's that bad....

*sigh*

Sorry to complain about it so much, it's just frustrating. :(

that doesn't sound normal pammie, have you called in to talk to the nurse?specifically what you wrote to us here.
beth

Pam,
This might be a big deal.
Call the doc you are dealing with.
Ask for an emergency call back.

You might be counseled to go the ER.
M.