Can you?
 

Can you not want to live but not be suicidal? Is this possible or am I just super screwed up?

I suppose you can dnserror but I call that depression. :hug:

"Touched by Suicide. Hope and Healing After Loss"

by Michael Myers, and Carla Fine is a great book and I wanted to quote something from it.

"People who have been plagued with suicidal thinking, or who have tried to kill themselves and are now well, believe that they have been given a second chance. They are grateful to be alive, and feel that their lives have more significance and purpose. Many emerge from their ordeals with special insights; having been in that awful place, they know both the terror and the allure of wanting to end your own life.

We have much to learn from survivors of suicide attempts, whether we are survivors of a loved one's suicide, clinicians, researchers, or everyday citizens. Individuals who have attempted to take their lives can help us make sense of the life and death of a family member, a friend, a colleague, and show us ways to seek clarity and definition after suicide has touched our lives. By fighting to eradicate the stigma of self-inflicted death, we can start to bring about wholesome dialogue as well as more effective prevention. Above all, we will be able to save lives.

not sure if it is depression... more like stuck in a bad place... hard to explain... in a nutshell I am a "survivor of suicide" x2 and yet I have a family, would not be fair to hurt them like mine hurt me...

It's OK
 

I think its OK to not want to live but not be suicidal. The world can be a cruel place so it is understandable to have these feelings.

My mother used to wish that there was no afterlife so she would not have to continue living. Asked if she believed in hell she replied that she thought Earth was hell.

My only advice is to hang out with people who don't stress you out. People are what make life more enjoyable when times are tough. Be very selective. I guess you are since you found us.

I hope there is no afterlife too... One of the few friends I still see is indian and believes in reincarnation, sound like the ultimate punishment... would not want to do this twice or more..

I'm glad your suicide attempts failed dnserror (wish we had a name for you instead of dnserror) and I'm sorry you are stuck in such a bad place...I'm just not sure you want to try to change it. :hug:

Lonely1 surely can identify with you as he also seems to be "treading water"....both of you, please...as Nikki used to say...keep swimming!

The x2 was not mine.. was my family (although I have come close without really trying, no fear as they say), which is why the other thread hit a nerve there... There is a bit more to the story than this, and I'm not sure I can change...keep feeling stuck, caused by myself I know, not easy to change..

I call that suicidal ideation. Not having a plan, but just not wanting to live. Been there many times. I've said it to my doctor and therapist before and they call it that. Maybe you have a combination of PTSD, from whatever it is you experienced in your family before, leading to depression.

Post trauma can do so many things to a soul and body.

suicidal thoughts

And DO check out the link in Ms. Alffe's signature line. ♥

smart stuff Doody! Many times, more than I care to recall, I have wished I were dead. Michael took that choice away from me by killing himself. I'd never put the people I love through that again. ~sigh~

I know you have ((Ms. Alffe)).

But yea, I thought that was a pretty good link. Read it all the way through myself.

I wonder if our friend dns can see any of himself in that link.

And you have no idea how many times I have gone back to read the link in your signature line. :hug: