LW,
So, you're going to be 20 soon! Congratulations!
Many years from now, you will realize how young you are, AND how mature. (Look at your friends, like Allen said something like: if they want to terrorize you, USE them! Don't absorb what they say, reflect it. (If it's ugly). Take it to heart, only if it's kind.

It seems to me that you don't have a good doctor, who's familiar with RSD.
Keep Looking! Get Super ProActive!
(I've never heard of RSD stopping your respiration, but, I know that lots of the meds we take can do that). I'm NOT saying it's not possible...

A few months ago, I found myself really almost willing to just end it all. But, that's no way out. As has been pointed out, the pain may go with you, (it's not staying here!), and it may just be worse! It's a selfish, and cowardly act. How would your Mother react? What would that do to just One Person, whom has already been through hell?

Lord, sir, you need to concentrate on something, or someone other than yourself. One reason, Someone Always Has It Worse! Always! Another, you can't keep looking into that "Mirror of Despair". How much better it feels to smile, than to frown! All you need do, is take it moment by moment. Then grow that into a day at a time.

Why would you think, that all of us here are "married and fine"???
You haven't been reading, methinks! Let me give you a bit of advice that comes from many years of public service and building and running two business's, (then losing it all). If you "Present yourself" as down and out, you WILL get your dose of "woe is you" and some pets on the head. If you turn that around from time to time, and reach out to others, to find out what goes on in their lives (here, by PM's), you'll find that You're not the only one who's suffering! It's important to do that, so that you can be "centered, in reality", and not constantly thinking, that you have it worse than anyone. You don't.


I have full body RSD and TOS, since 1983. I was T-Boned by a Tractor Trailer. 7+ years for a diagnoses from Dr. S. A few more years until some relief, then;
That caused my first wife to leave, I had two young children to raise, through school. (She didn't want to be married to a drug addict, since I was put on methadone).

In '98, I blew my mind out in a car, she hadn't noticed that the sign said stop.
(Pardon the "Beatles" reference.)
"Cranially Constipated".
TBI, subdural hematoma, discs in neck and low back. Often, I simply can't walk. Sleep Apnea, and a slew of other things, including post traumatic epilepsy, migraine, tran/somnia, etc.
I was in kind of a sleeping state for several years, while wife #2 emptied the bank acc'ts she could, and made off with at least half a mil. and, is now getting very closing to taking MY house! Children don't speak to me, because they warned me about her. I was too "brain dead" to listen.
Can you imagine having the children you raised, not speak to you for more than 5 years, but worse, to have let them down?

Yes, the RSD pain suks, my pain goes much farther than that, on a physical and mental basis. Other than that, there is practically nothing wrong with me physically @ 53 years.

LW,
maybe you can tell us what cocktail of meds you're on?
So, that we can make this a more fulfilling conversation, along with other things that go on in your life, and lifestyle?
We really do want to help.
We've got to help you get your life and care by the horns, so that you can have a more fulfilling life. It makes a huge difference!
Frankly, I don't understand if you're on meds, or not, seeing a doctor or not...

Please, let us in, to help you?
Only you can do it.
You have the invitation!

Hope we can talk soon, Pal!

love,
Pete

asb

we have talked all the time.. i know how hard this is for you.. but its like i have told you.. you need to find soemthing else to take your mind of the RSD anything it doesnt matter what. i will call later and finish this conversation.. ...


think about us your friends no matter what u think we all care about you more than what you can ever imagine

carrie

hey austin
what pete said is true,,,any opiate exspecially oxy in any form and antidepressants [xanax] and all other antdepressants both have an adverse effect on the respiratory system, and can be fatal,,,,,,,,,,,,please be carefull,,,,,call me,,,,,,,bobber

Austin,

Please hear me when I say your life is what it is here and now.....we don't know how our lives in the future will be because everything is always changing...

Things turn around and change...

When I was in my 20's I was in the darkest depths of mental and emotional anguish...I was in the deepest pit and in the darkest of darkness..it seemed that it would be that way forever with no way out..
but things did change...I am OLD enough to know that things don't stay the same...the darkness comes and goes ..different circumstances but always changing

I know you are in that darkness and the loneliness of it is overwhelming..
compounded by the pain..

You've got to grab hold of that trust..that things can change..

Please call the crisis line where you live to get some support..


SandyS provided the direct line to the contact person of Dr. Stanton Hicks..
Call their office and explain your situation, your pain and your circumstances..

I wish I knew who you are beyond the RSD..what dreams you have and how you'd like things to be..Austin, that YOU is still there !

PM me with anything that is on your mind and in your heart..
We know you are hurting, and we're here for YOU.
I am sending you love and care..
Hope4thebest

So
Where and How is LW?
He hasn't returned to his thread,,,, Is he OK?


Pete

I would first like to excuse myself as understand that day/night i do not remember at all nor do i remember the next day. In order to get some rest (well fake rest at that) i use xanax to an advantage. Its either that or get worn down from no sleep and be worse over all. As many of us know xanax has a nasty little adverse effect if u take larger doses and stay up it will make you continue on with no memory whatsoever. Usually i take and than go to sleep but that night i didn't make it. I appreciate all responses and concerns. One thing as a good note towards the end of each day is to know that you guys are there when it seems as no one is around. I will be responding to each of you personally concerning each post. For now i just wanted to assure everyone i am still around and to please excuse such out burst as this was. Thank you to all again.

Austin,

I am very happy that you are alright.
SandyS

Austin,
Glad you responded!
That's a first step!
A First step to responding to a lot of adults who are concerned for you!


Listen, You can PM me your phone #, and a good time to call, I will!

You're cared about!

Don't let us down. Don't let your family down,
You have now,
a Wonderful chance to "Bring ALL of Us, to a Higher Level"!


Why not give it a try?

I think you can do it.


We ALL Love you, Pal!

Pete


asb

It seems to me, LW,
*edit*

@ 19, I personally think that you should be looking forward to an adulthood.
You can certainly dress well, as is seen on FB.
You can speak well.
So,
REally?
What is it that you want?
Sympathy?
That was worn out a while ago.

Empathy?
Yes. Of course we still all have that for you.

But, your "Anger" is overwhelming.
Leave that space behind, OK?
Then, we'll ALL be able to help you!

Right now, It's ill advised to play the "hurt little boy role" here,
and the tuff and able guy role, on FB.

They simply don't mix!

I completely understand, if you're confused, Truly, I do!

So, pray. Ground yourself!
Call any of us collect!
We'll call you right back!

WE DO CARE ABOUT YOU!

I'm not trying to "OutMan" You!
I couldn't do it if I wanted to...


However, You've got to just "roll over", and give it up.
Give up your weakness to one, or more of us.

Because, we want to help!
TRULY!

Don't Frustrate us!
WE're Only Humans Too!

Give US a Chance to Help!
And, we surely will!

Thanks, Austin!

You are a Man!

Pete

ASB

Austin,

What has transpired in this entire post is people reaching out to you, and in turn, you opened up and that is a huge beginning.We must not forget that you are still developing and maturing from an adolescent toward an adult, biologically. With that said, we also know that anyone of us has been or could be, where you are, or were, at the beginning of your post.

Pain sucks! You have more issues than RSD on your plate. Those issues suck,too. However, all of the medical/psychological issues that do SUCK, still have a glimmer of hope within them. Count your blessings. Focus on what you do have..instead of what you lack.

Forgive those that have wronged you; to carry that grief is igniting your pain levels. That doesn't mean you have to be around them, it just means you refuse to have the jerks control that which you CAN control. That is your thoughts about Life, in general. To hold this anger inside you is so unhealthy. Let it go..forgive them, then toss them..out of your thoughts.

Next, forgive yourself. That sick, empty feeling of loneliness is not a reflection of something you did wrong; it is a reflection of what others have done wrong. You are worthy of love, friendship, and frankly, once you deprogram your negative thought process and perspective, you will wonder WHY you gave those jerks the time of day!

Healthy attracts healthy,Austin. I am speaking in psychological terms. Your friends here at NT all have health issues;however, that doesn't make them unhealthy to hang out and chat, listen to you..hold you in close and in high regard. You have nothing to prove to those jerks..you are lovable.

I am here for you,
Dew