I guess i just need to talk to people who get it... Maybe u may not even get it... Last time this year well Novermeber first of last year... I sliped in to almost a 3 and half week coma.. how ever i am going to say right now it wasnt a coma... I was able to hear, see understand and some to vocalize... but when i did vocalize it didnt make sense... I lost almost 2 and half months.. I have no memory ... The last thing i defentivly remember was having my rib removed... Nothing in between... For that long pierod of time i was trapped in my own head.. I watched my family come in cry and worried that i wasnt going to surrive... Some said there last goodbyes... others cried.. and told me to hang on.. Others were baffled and joked with me.. Nurses... Some of those nurses or the most uncommpassonite people in the whole world... One of them told me that i would be spending my thanksgiving with the (i wont use the inapporite word) mentally challenged... and many other mean things.. It was horrible... Tommorrow i go under for a MRI... BC i cant handle the vibrations and the noise any more... Its causing me to much pain.. I dont know what to do... i am scared.. .and then i will be going under again... soon to get my spinal cord stimulator implnated... which i am scared.. of i dont know how much it will help.. When i had the trial... i was nauses 4 out of the 6 days i had it... So it was hard to get a judgement out of it... However when i slept.. Man did i.. Sleep.. So if i can get some normal sleep again i guess that is a miracle... I guess i am just afarid of being put to sleep.. and not having my brain be there does that make sense... I am just so scared.. SO SOSOSOSOSO scared... I dont know if what i just wrote even just made any sense... I am scared to death... No one really knows exactly why i end up where or why or what exactly happened.. No one even knows how long i was laying on my bedroom floor.... that night i went into that coma...

I guess it felt good just to write it out and calm my nerves a bit thanks for listen to me bable.. sorry if it didnt make any sense... if u have questions i can surely answer what i know...

Hope u all are doing well... Pain free day for all of u tomorrow is in my hopes...