Gail,
First,
Don't try to sit in a pity party, ok? You'll get past it.
WE all get there, but, it doesn''t get us anywhere.......

Whatever the cause, dear, we all come to the same place.

I'm 53, and have had rsd since 27. then, in 98. I acquired an TBI, (traumatic brain injury), these two took me through two EVIL divorces. I thought ladies were nice and kind. NOT! I got my ars torn out! again, and again! (Not that Men are better).
Dam, I thought All ladies were nice and kind, I will NEVER Think that again! Each person is to their own. (I simply made poor choices, so, in the end, it's my own fault).

Anyway,
It's about taking care of yourself.
And, you must do this!

Seek what your angels want you to want! Your Dreams!
Don't lose site of them!
Ever!

Then, find a good doctor, who will help you with that!!!

A Neuro, who's a good pain management doctor. forget PM doctors, they's full of shoit! (I saw a show on hulu, that was an expose' of PM docs).
Find a Neuro, who will let you dream your dreams!!
That's OK! and GOOD!

Then, carry on yourself! Forget the pain occasionally! (You must, to be Yourself!) When you feel a bit better, do something for yourself!
YOU have the pain, it doesn't have You!

Then, keep an open communication with your neuro!!!!!
OK?

Anything else you need, you come right back here.
I'll be here for you! And so will all of us!

There are too many fool hardy doctors, that aren't worth their weight, in lead.

PM me, if you wish....
I'll be here for ya! Cry if you wish! Get it OUT!

Then you, YOU, carry on! For yourself!

I often, cry myself to sleep. thinking, dreaming about my children, my daughter especially, who was to run my business. (my Son, was to run my 2nd busniness.)
I cannot get past this...
I cry, and, I cry.

Perhaps, we can help each other?

We'll see.......

Pete
asb