[abrown176]

I know were not suppose to question God, but I'm really really in a bad place. The monster RSD has not only reuined me but it feels like it has taken all my friends away. No one wants to come over and see any body not able to do for thereselves. If it wasn't enough to have fallen last month and end up with a cast, I just twisted my knee on my only good leg. My husband had to go on too work, cause you aint calling out unless your dead. So now its baths for the kids and trying to hide back the tears from them. I want so bad just to know what I ever did to deseve this pain. I just have to try and trust that God will not put more on you than you can handle. I just want to ball up and cry. I feel as though I have nobody. I know he has to work cause he's the only income. I just don't know how to manage the pain anymore. I'm sorry to be so whinny, but it just has been one thing after another. Falling and ripping my tendon in my RSD foot and ripping my battery lose, and now this. All in one month. I can't go to the ER and have my knee checked cause no babysitter. I just need to get them to bed and take a sleeping pill and maybe feel better in the morning. Thanks for anybody reading this. Its nice sometimes just to be able to vent. Thanks!

[keep smilin]

Originally Posted by abrown176

I know were not suppose to question God, but I'm really really in a bad place. The monster RSD has not only reuined me but it feels like it has taken all my friends away. No one wants to come over and see any body not able to do for thereselves. If it wasn't enough to have fallen last month and end up with a cast, I just twisted my knee on my only good leg. My husband had to go on too work, cause you aint calling out unless your dead. So now its baths for the kids and trying to hide back the tears from them. I want so bad just to know what I ever did to deseve this pain. I just have to try and trust that God will not put more on you than you can handle. I just want to ball up and cry. I feel as though I have nobody. I know he has to work cause he's the only income. I just don't know how to manage the pain anymore. I'm sorry to be so whinny, but it just has been one thing after another. Falling and ripping my tendon in my RSD foot and ripping my battery lose, and now this. All in one month. I can't go to the ER and have my knee checked cause no babysitter. I just need to get them to bed and take a sleeping pill and maybe feel better in the morning. Thanks for anybody reading this. Its nice sometimes just to be able to vent. Thanks!

so sorry to read your RSD has really been getting the best of you..Sorry for your pain..As I read your note..I want to say that we have been there at one time or another..Please.allow yourself to feel sad but also remember that you have our support..We all care and can relate..Is it possible to have a neighbor come over to babysit in order for you to get yourself checked ?? Even after you get the kids settled in their beds?? Or possibly tomorrow your husband once he is home then you can skip out for the Dr.?? I am really sorry and I feel the desperation in your voice ... try to get a good nights rest... RSD has a real neat way of dragging us down due to the relentless pain...we all hit bottom at one time or another..the important part is not to stay there..get back up swinging...And yes,..God does not give us more than we can handle...

Sleep well and remember..your RSD friends here care!! Let us know how you are feeling..

hugz, Kathy

[hope4thebest]

Hi Abrown,
I think many of us on the boards are empathizing with the way you are feeling....This condition is a lonely road even if/when you are surrounded by friends and/or loved ones.....because our pain is so personal and silent..
There is a lot of upheaval that comes with it, in every way..socially, work life, homelife, self-esteem, emotional stability.

I have asked similar questions...what have I done, or what is the purpose for RSD to come into my life. Is it karma? do I have valuable lessons to learn from it? or is it some random fluke of physcial nature and physiology that simply happened to me....

So I try to remain positive and open, and break it down moment by moment...I must say, it is a daily struggle.

I am so sorry you are having a hard time and I wish there were some people in your life to help you! My pain psych reminds me that if one of my friends were in need and asked for my help, I would be there in a flash...

So, Abrown, please call on a friend, or a special person to help you, and a family member who may understand, to come and help you, too..
It's important to vent in any way you can, by posting here, by journaling, by listening to soothing music...by shedding tears..
I hope you are able to get your knee checked out soon and I hope you were ale to get some much needed rest..

At some point things will change and there will be better days...I try to focus on that thought while trying to 'ride' the moment as it is....

Many hugs from Hope4thebest

[bobber]

I feel for you,,,
I went to church today for the first time in a year,,Ive been in so much of a fullbody spread,including my eyes and privates,,,,but your right,,God will not put no more on you or me ,than we can handle,,read my last thread titled "Meltdown"....please read psalm 41:1-4 and romans 8:28 and 1st peter 5:6-11 and please vent away,,God has heard my cry and has answered me,,And out of humility,,I asked the church today for the elders to lay hands on me for healing and they did,,so healing is on the way and we have james 5:13-20 to lean on,,,,,,your in my prayers tonite too,,

[Wilbyfree]

Originally Posted by abrown176

I know were not suppose to question God, but I'm really really in a bad place. The monster RSD has not only reuined me but it feels like it has taken all my friends away. No one wants to come over and see any body not able to do for thereselves. If it wasn't enough to have fallen last month and end up with a cast, I just twisted my knee on my only good leg. My husband had to go on too work, cause you aint calling out unless your dead. So now its baths for the kids and trying to hide back the tears from them. I want so bad just to know what I ever did to deseve this pain. I just have to try and trust that God will not put more on you than you can handle. I just want to ball up and cry. I feel as though I have nobody. I know he has to work cause he's the only income. I just don't know how to manage the pain anymore. I'm sorry to be so whinny, but it just has been one thing after another. Falling and ripping my tendon in my RSD foot and ripping my battery lose, and now this. All in one month. I can't go to the ER and have my knee checked cause no babysitter. I just need to get them to bed and take a sleeping pill and maybe feel better in the morning. Thanks for anybody reading this. Its nice sometimes just to be able to vent. Thanks!

Hi Abrown;

You poor thing...you are in a bad place!!! You have every right to feel the way that you feel. It's okay to question God, he knows. I prefer to think of it as talking to him, so keep right on talking to him, he knows your needs. I do agree with KS and Hope4thebest, you do need to get some help from some source. Please call upon a friend or neighbor so you can get your leg checked out or at least have someone with you for awhile to comfort you in your time of need. I could not imagine having small children and being challenged with this, if I lived near you I would gladly help you out and I am sure there is someone special who will do the same.

I am praying for you now and diligently throughout the night. Maybe at least get the kids in bed and prop your legs up and just try to relax for a moment. I am so sorry you are going through this. Please let us know that you are okay.

God Bless You

Jeanie

[abrown176]

Thanks for all the encouraging words. Well the kids got off to bed and sleep now. I took my meds but just can't see to find sleep yet. I'm just going to try to make it through the night till my husband comes home in the morning. I'll call the doc then. Its great to have this site and all of you. Thanks so much! Well hopefully off to sleep soon.

[loretta]

Originally Posted by abrown176

Thanks for all the encouraging words. Well the kids got off to bed and sleep now. I took my meds but just can't see to find sleep yet. I'm just going to try to make it through the night till my husband comes home in the morning. I'll call the doc then. Its great to have this site and all of you. Thanks so much! Well hopefully off to sleep soon.

What are you taking for sleep? I was on Ambien CR and it quit working for me. Restorative Sleep is imperative to get thru the pain and stay stable.
My Dr. did a 200 person trial study for seroquel XR . It was for fibromyalgia, but found it worked well for sound sleep. He added me to the trial and I generally sleep 10 hours straight. It's a blessing and was able to lower my pain meds and anti-anxiety meds both from 6 to 4 pills per day. The FDA recently just approved it for fibro.
You need some assistance. Do you qualify for state help? My mother in law is 89 and lives in Washington State. We live in Arizona-my husband made arrangement with the State to come in 4 times a week. They clean, grocery shop, and take her to Dr. It's so many hours a week. Really nice arrangement as she has no friends or neighbors to help either.
Hope you can find some assistance. your friend, loretta

[Rrae]

Never apologize for 'whining'....! That isn't even in our vocab!
We need each other abrown......we all get those 'meltdown' moments....... And it's ok to question God......my biggest hero in the Bible (besides Jesus of course) is DAVID! Look at how many times he cried out to God in the Psalms!

When these moments come to me, I like to do what I call....
"crawling up in my daddie's lap" Abba Father..... and let the tears flow...... When the kids are in bed asleep and you're alone.....take that time to let those tears go......we need that release.
I'm so glad you've got faith and trust in God.
Please don't let that go......

We're all in this 'together'......
You've been hit with so much here lately.....it IS so hard to comprehend WHY this happens.

I'm going to spend more time in my special 'prayer closet' and do whatever I can to lift you up as a Sister in Christ.....
Things will begin to turn around for you, let's all just stay in agreement on this and God's Word will come to pass.....
try your best not to let 'doubt' creep in .... we have to stand firm my friend......

you've got many friends here pulling together for you.....open up your heart and let these prayers manifest into healing and comfort....

TRULY CARING
Rae

[SandyRI]

Hi Abrown,

Pain control has made a big difference for me while I have waited and waited for WC to approve 10 day outpatient ketamine infusions and for a spot in a physician's office for the treatments. Have you tried something like Fentanyl patches, which deliver opiod meds to your system all the time? I recently titrated off of them, just to prove to myself that I could, and to see what kind of pain my body was still in. It was really ugly. So I am back on them. They work extremely well I discovered. I also take a muscle relaxer and Ambien CR to sleep at night. Those meds usually work also, and when they don't, I keep oral Oxycodones nearby to help. Other meds I am on include Cymbalta, Topamax and high blood pressure meds because of the pain.

I've been sick now for 3 and a half years. It's taken a long time for me to work out the meds and to figure out the best system for dealing with the pain. My personal care physician is awesome because he has helped me with most of what I have needed.

Many times I find that physical activity is a good diversion, too. My headaches don't hurt as bad if I go out and take a walk. And vitamins have helped with my energy levels - make sure you are getting enough Vit C and Calcium and Iron, etc. I take a lot of supplements, many I found out about on this board.

Try to get to the very best doctor that you can in your area to help you with your RSD. Get rid of the SCS when you can (if that's what you want). Help yourself the best you can.

I hope my message has helped you a little. Please keep us informed on how you are doing.

XOXOXO Sandy

Originally Posted by abrown176

I know were not suppose to question God, but I'm really really in a bad place. The monster RSD has not only reuined me but it feels like it has taken all my friends away. No one wants to come over and see any body not able to do for thereselves. If it wasn't enough to have fallen last month and end up with a cast, I just twisted my knee on my only good leg. My husband had to go on too work, cause you aint calling out unless your dead. So now its baths for the kids and trying to hide back the tears from them. I want so bad just to know what I ever did to deseve this pain. I just have to try and trust that God will not put more on you than you can handle. I just want to ball up and cry. I feel as though I have nobody. I know he has to work cause he's the only income. I just don't know how to manage the pain anymore. I'm sorry to be so whinny, but it just has been one thing after another. Falling and ripping my tendon in my RSD foot and ripping my battery lose, and now this. All in one month. I can't go to the ER and have my knee checked cause no babysitter. I just need to get them to bed and take a sleeping pill and maybe feel better in the morning. Thanks for anybody reading this. Its nice sometimes just to be able to vent. Thanks!