I think many of the feelings and issues you mention- fit so well for anyone in a caretaker role.

It is very hard for the 'healthy" one or family members to really comprehend what the afflicted ones go thru but on the flip side care taking and supporting and working do take a heavy toll too.

In essence both have "lost" the "normal" life and both will go thru the grief steps and at a differing pace.

even for those with 'functional" disabilities- that can still do some normal activities it sometimes is hard for others to understand.
We can do some things/activities and other times aren't able to due pain or that the activity will cause a flare that may last for a week.

Good post !

caregivers are more than welcome to vent here too-