How about a joke thread so we can smile or laugh a moment in the midst of our pain? Don't be vulgar, just fun. Old jokes, new, don't matter...

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work!!!

Pain Management Doc to Patient: " I see you have been losing weight lately, what is that about?"

Patient to pain management doc: "I have been skipping breakfast because my husband makes the bacon too CRPSby."

I know, really bad joke-couldn't resist!

Thanks for those jokes guys...sometimes I think really bad, corny jokes are the best. Unfortunately I don't know any jokes but here's a somewhat funny story about something that happened yesterday that broke me out of a particularly snappish mood (one of those where EVERYTHING irritates you regardless of how stupid and inimportant it is).

My boyfriend FINALLY brought all of our boxes for the Christmas decorations up from the basement yesterday (yes...I know it is Feb already and we STILL have all the inside decorations up). Anyway...I told him to bring up EVERYTHING because there's stuff we haven't seen since we moved into the house 5 years ago and stuff that my mother somehow snuck into the house when THEY moved that I never asked for or wanted...and I thought it was time to sort it all out and give away the stuff we don't need or want.

So...among these unopened boxes is a box that my mom labeled "Christmas decorations and sitting room knick knacks"...seems innocent enough. So I open the box up (its still taped shut with packing tape from the move)...and keep in mind that at this point I am just in a nasty mood...the sort where I would stomp around if I could...and right on top of this HUGE box is a gift bag filled with stuff. Alright...gift bag is an odd "knick knack" but okay...let's look inside. There's a dancing stuffed box, a singing bird that sings zipadee doo da, an unopened Christmas gift for my aunt (still wrapped), a light up skull (halloween decoration), a random cross stitch piece that is wadded up in the bottom...and a GIANT bag of peanut M&Ms...lol! It's a 52 oz bag of M&Ms...how exactly is THAT a knick knack or Christmas decoration?

I'm sorry...it's really not THAT funny but it was just one of those things that just sort of hits you when you're in a bad mood and makes you bust out laughing. Broke my bad mood immediately and had me laughing for hours. I even called my mom to find out how exactly this ENORMOUS bag of M&Ms was a sitting room knick knack? And it's been in this box for over 5 years. There were plenty more odd things in that box but the m&m's were what just did me in.

Sorry...know it's not a joke but thought maybe it might get a laugh as it certainly gave me one.

A man decides that he really needs to do something with his life after years and years of doing nothing, so he goes out and walks into a local recruiting office.

The recruiter asks the usual questions, like schooling, work history, arrest record, and so on.

"Everything seems fine, sir, just fill out these papers and we are good to go!"

So the guy starts to fill out the papers and some drop on the floor. His jacket falls off and the recruiter notices something different about him.

"Sir, you have only one arm, this could cause issues. Why do you want to join?"

"Well", says the guy, "I would be a great ARMy of one!!"

yay yah i know its really really cheezy but i had to lol...

A $1 bill runs into his friend a $100 bill. He says, "where have you been lately?" The $100 bill says, "on a cruise, a few trips to Vegas, and a trip to Los Angeles!" Then the $100 bill asks $1, "where have you been lately?" The $1 replies, "oh you know the same place over and over again...church."

I am not good at jokes but I do believe laughter is good medicine. I remember at the pain clinic program them saying to watch a funny movie etc or sometimes my mom and I would watch a comic on tv. Obviously it is not a cure but any bright moment can help

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.”Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little ****** off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. “How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.”Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.” Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, “You gonna tell him or should I?”

(hope this doesn't offend anyone!)

Out celebrating last night at the local pub. As midnight approached the DJ announced that she wanted every husband standing next to the one person who was most important to him. The person who was there for good times and bad, and always willing to listen and give their support. The poor bartender was nearly crushed to death.