Oh dear, it's horrible trying to be normal isn't it? I'm crap at it myself lately.

We all try to pretend to be 'normal' when we're out, don't want to cause a scene etc - I think you're very courageous to have gone when I know you've been feeling rubbish lately. You gave it a go and tried your best, the fact that the CRPS wouldn't let you do what you wanted is not your fault.

As for your doc, it makes me so mad when there's this complete failure on a doctors part to recognise the importance of pain relief in CRPS. Without it we are in hell, and all this 'concern' about dependency, etc is pathetic when dealing with a monster like this. I'm glad your doc is nice, but all the understanding in the world can't provide pain relief. If your GP is too scared to deal with it himself, it sounds like you need to tackle your pain team and maybe even find a new one to guide your GP with your meds. Saying 'if you're tolerant to one med you're tolerant to them all' is rubbish. And the bit about only counselling helping is laughable. There must be more they and your GP can do to support you.

Moving must have been a difficult decision, but it sounds like you weren't happy in your life in Yorkshire, which wouldn't have been great to continue with while dealing with your health concerns, but I understand your frustration if your previous pain team dealt with things better. Is there any way you could contact your old pain doc and ask their guidance on dealing with the new one?

I hope you have a better day Kathy, about time you had a break from this...

Bram

Thanks you two. The meds side of things is really getting me down. I have tried and tried with both the GP (who would be happy to prescribe me anything with the pain clinic's say so) and the pain team. The only way forward is a new pain team. I don't know if that would mean giving up on the pain management programme I've just started as that comes under my current one (although they had to refer me even though it's run by my doc, so maybe it's separate enough to keep if I changed pain team?). There is another local GP at another practice who specialises in chronic pain but because I've only been with this current one a short time I really don't want to leave and be suspected of drug seeking again which is what happened with this one. It was awful and I'm not as strong as I was then for coping with that.

I suspect I'll end up in A&E tonight. I've been trying to get a GP appointment for a month now and have to wait til Friday and this pain is too much. The hospital were great last time but it involved being admitted and I really didn't want that.

I've tried to be productive today. Waiting for a call back about a referral for a wheelchair assessment (GP was against it last time we talked about it but that was ages ago, but even so I've rang the OT to do it instead). Now need to ring about getting a bus pass but that's not massively important right now - it's just yet another bloomin' assessment that I'm not up to and the wheelchair one has to take priority.

Now I am going to load myself up on valium and buprenorphine and try and distract myself with a film. It's so hard today because I need to move to reposition and it hurts too much to do it but noone else is in so I have to get on with it. I just don't want to faint again!!

Kathy, I hope you feel better!
You know your limits, and you must try to live within them, rather than, trying to be 'normal'. What in the world is that, anyway?
So, carry on and don't be ashamed that you're slow! It is, what it is! Always, keep an eye out for a new PM team! You never know.

I wish you all the best!

Anyways, there is EVERYTHING, to look forward to! What else can we do? We've changed, life has change, and we must, MUST keep looking forward!
We don't wanna look back, that's in our mirrors. We MUST look forward, and make the best of what God has given us, and, that's a LOT!
You will lose friends, of course, that comes with life.
But, you will also gain more understanding friends! Also, comes with life!
And, you'll probably keep a childhood, or teenage friend!
I hope you do!


Pete


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