[Djhasty]

http://www.rsds.org/1/publications/r...ummer2006.html
What to do with the guilt?

Since having CRPS, I often feel guilty for not accomplishing those things that I used to be able to accomplish. I also try to hide my pain as much as possible. It is one particular issue that I have discussed with Doc K, my psychologist. She was surprised that I had feelings of guilt. Basically, she simply told me I should not feel guilty. One should not feel guilty for acquiring a disorder and subsequent disability without any control whatsoever of a diseases affliction. But, it is not that simple. Especially when it has been drilled into my head that one can will themselves to overcome illness or pain, and that showing outward signs is evidence of weakness or inferiority. Suffering should be done in silence. Well, I've failed at that. I found this article on RSDSA.org. Surprised that there are others like me who feel guilty for being ill, it revealed to me that I am not alone. Interesting in deed.

Do any others of you CRPSers have feelings of guilt?

[Brambledog]

Gosh yes. Every single day. Every time I don't want to force myself to do something, every time I ask someone to do something I used to do myself... Every time I admit that I feel crap, or show my pain.

Guilt is a strange beast. You can know its irrational, know that having this disease isn't your fault, know that you would do the same for your husband/children/family if it were the other way around.....but it doesn't change a thing. I still feel guilty, and I think I always will.

I have a mantra - to deal with this the best I can. Some days I can do more than others (it's never enough though!).

I don't know the answer, but I suspect it comes down to living with it, like every other aspect of this condition....

Bram.

You can't help feeling guilty, I taught my 3 granddaughters to swim in our pool took them to disneyland my grandson I've never even picked up. Had his 3rd birthday party yesterday but I couldn't go I feel as if I've really let him down and wonder what he'll think of me as he grows up.

[AZ-Di]

Oh my Gosh DJ you have no idea how much this post touched me! I'm constantly feeling guilty for something anyway even before the RSD. I'm caught in the generation when trying to be Super mom and wife was expected, to be everything to everyone all the time.
Now my kids are grown and I just had them over for dinner. It is quite a huge chore for me these days. They just don't understand there is no pattern with this disease! During dinner they roll their eyes about me not working. They just do not understand how much pain I'll be in for later doing the fine hand movements needed just to make dinner even if I can struggle through it at the time.
So there you go, I'm feeling guilty, it doesn't take much to tear me down.
How do we make people understand that just because we can force ourselves to do things at one moment doesn't mean we will even walk or hold on to something later, or cry in the night with pain.

[Allanira]

Yes we do. Recently I have been feeling it more than ever. Its also part of the depression we get with this disorder. As long as we don't let it get us completely and we take the easy way out we are still fighting. I think that's the main thing. To keep fighting.

[Djhasty]

Thank you so much for your responses. So then, is there a way to overcome these guilty feelings? Seems like I am constantly saying I'm sorry, which I am truly sorry. I'm sorry for myself, as much as I am sorry for the extra burden I have placed on my family and friends. This disorder has taken a confident competent person and totally turned her upside down. How do you manage?

[painman2009]

Originally Posted by Djhasty

http://www.rsds.org/1/publications/r...ummer2006.html
What to do with the guilt?

Since having CRPS, I often feel guilty for not accomplishing those things that I used to be able to accomplish. I also try to hide my pain as much as possible. It is one particular issue that I have discussed with Doc K, my psychologist. She was surprised that I had feelings of guilt. Basically, she simply told me I should not feel guilty. One should not feel guilty for acquiring a disorder and subsequent disability without any control whatsoever of a diseases affliction. But, it is not that simple. Especially when it has been drilled into my head that one can will themselves to overcome illness or pain, and that showing outward signs is evidence of weakness or inferiority. Suffering should be done in silence. Well, I've failed at that. I found this article on RSDSA.org. Surprised that there are others like me who feel guilty for being ill, it revealed to me that I am not alone. Interesting in deed.

Do any others of you CRPSers have feelings of guilt?

Oh yes.. soo much that I must push myself so far past my tolerance levels just to try and prove I am not helpless and useless. but that usually gets me days onthe couch of complete uselessness. or in the hospital.
those who say you shouldnt feel guilty obviously can not relate to what we are going through. aside from others doing things that was ment to be done by us, we have this Idea of who we are supposed to be and anything less is not allowed... you are not alone in this.. if that helps at all.. be well

[Djhasty]

I found another interesting article on this topic. In it, Linnea Smith Noyles explaines irrational or 'neurotic' guilt. The article is directed at chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia patients, but I believe it holds true for us CRPS/RSD patients too. "Any guilt or self-blame of this type tends to hinge on the assumption that you actually have control over such matters [as chronic illness], and that there is a relationship between “goodness” and life events." It is a short read. I hope it helps clarify our understanding about misplaced guilt.

'Dealing With Guilt'
Lennea Smith Noyes
The CFIDS Chronicle, Summer 2005
http://www.cfids.org/sparkcfs/guilt.pdf

[ginnie]

guilt comes with a lot of other diseases, not just RSD. I feel guilt that I can't work like I did before. Guilt that I wear out quickly, guilt I can't walk right, and need the handicap sign in my car. I feel bad I had to quit work, and that I can't be what I use to be. Pain changes a person. Learning to cope is extremely difficult for most of us. I think the only thing we can do is take one day at a time, one hour, one minute, and do the best you can. ginnie

[Imahotep]

It's not only guilt about things I can't do and am afraid to do but when I experience the fear and dread before the pain it feels like the RSD itself is my fault causing even more guilt. It's not just paranoia and general fear along with the epression it engenders but also the constant feeling of guilt.