I dont know if this helps much but i had seizures when i was taking sodium
volporate soon as stopped no more seizures

I have no medicine it is just a SCS.

Thanks everyone I am sitting here tonight have the worst night in the last three years. Let me start by saying I would never kill myself I have way to much to live for. With that being said today I have had many "seizures" "involuntary muscle spams" whatever you want to call them all day, I had a migraine, ol and did. I mention the workers comp doctor decided he was god and cut my medicine in half,when I complained he gave me something much stronger, I have to cut pills in half to not sleep, but he thinks 2 pills will work on bad days. I am in tears and wish they had to feel this pain for 5 minutes they would understand.

I have also noticed that if I have a lot of anxiety over something my days awe much worse, I'm just feel like giving up, the minute things seem better we go 10 steps backwards, the stupid doctor at workers comp, has no clue, he talks about my ankle swelling and pain should be that of bad sprain, I want to scream when he says this.

Hi Bratette,

Sorry things are so horrible at the moment, it's exhausting just getting through the hours when you feel so low.

Just hang in there, and hopefully things will improve for you, even if only a little. Just keep breathing, try to relax and breathe deep whenever you can, and remember that you're not alone with these feelings, even if it feels like the loneliest thing in the world...

Distraction is good - try to find something to take your mind off things, even for just a few minutes. Do you have a Crisis Box? They are good for times like this - when you are feeling stronger, put one together in an old shoe box or something. Fill it with things that either make you smile or make you feel good, like a favourite film, little box of chocolates, gorgeous scented candle, CD of good music, some photos or a game, a piece of tapestry or craft thing...whatever works for you. For mine I also got a tiny notebook and wrote some thoughts to help me out in the bad times, just positive stuff and that belief that things do get a bit better again, and it's not always like this Then put it away somewhere you can reach, and have it as a little safety net. It's strange how just knowing it's there gives you a lift sometimes!

Anyway, sorry to waffle on. Take care of yourself and I'll be hoping the this bad time passes quickly for you.

Bram.

I had never heard of a crisis box. I do think I will try and get one together. Maybe for now see if my hubby will gather a few things. I deal pretty well from 6-8 in the am and 3:30-10 at night my kids are here and no matter how bad the pain or depression is they keep going, so times a little to much.

I had not put a lot to it until today but tomorrow marks the 2 year mark of my dad's unexpected death, so I figure I am stressing now from that.

Hi B.
I know frustrating is not a strong enough word for the pain and feelilngs of helplessness.
I've been through some VERY dark moments with those feelings myself. Just knowing I can put them out there to the friends on here who I know will "get it" helps so much.
I really want you to get through this "white knuckle time".
What a great idea a "Crisis Box" is!! (Thanks Bram)

Don't let the jerks who don't understand get you down!
We need to raise awareness to reduce the number of jerks!

I'm so sorry you lost your dad, two years isn't that long and the loss must be very raw right now...I would think it's bound to be affecting you. Sounds like a time to be kind to yourself and do what you can to relax. If things get too difficult in the evening, don't feel bad about asking for a short time alone because of your pain levels. I know you want to be there for your kids as much as you can, and I really admire that, but it won't do them any harm to see you excuse yourself for half an hour to go and do some meditation or something. Even just a good cry when you just need that release. My youngest was fascinated by the idea of meditation and came and sat with me while I did it. I explained that she had to be silent, and she sat by me and tried to follow it. It was so cute of her... Kids might not be able to understand your disease, but they can learn about how your pain affects you, and they will be more compassionate adults if they get used to accepting and accommodating your troubles.

Anyway, that's just my theory lol, which may or may not be reliable

Take care and I hope tomorrow is a good day.

Bram.