I'm so sorry you lost your dad, two years isn't that long and the loss must be very raw right now...I would think it's bound to be affecting you. Sounds like a time to be kind to yourself and do what you can to relax. If things get too difficult in the evening, don't feel bad about asking for a short time alone because of your pain levels. I know you want to be there for your kids as much as you can, and I really admire that, but it won't do them any harm to see you excuse yourself for half an hour to go and do some meditation or something. Even just a good cry when you just need that release. My youngest was fascinated by the idea of meditation and came and sat with me while I did it. I explained that she had to be silent, and she sat by me and tried to follow it. It was so cute of her... Kids might not be able to understand your disease, but they can learn about how your pain affects you, and they will be more compassionate adults if they get used to accepting and accommodating your troubles.

Anyway, that's just my theory lol, which may or may not be reliable

Take care and I hope tomorrow is a good day.

Bram.