[Vrae]

I felt really good 12/31!! I felt fun and silly and really wanted some adult time w/ my husband (if you know what I mean). And on a whim (like 4pm) my husband and I decided to go to dinner at a small mountain town and stay the night at a friend's B&B that we get at crazy awesome reasonable rate. We were just going for the night, then back home.

I go to all the trouble before we leave of hair, makeup, and find something nice to wear. This is a BIG deal for me. I usually don’t expend my energy in that area much anymore.

So we get into town and to the restaurant fairly late, about 9:30 pm, excited to get a table and get fed. We order a nice dinner and a glass of red wine to ring in the new year. When we got to the restaurant we were unaware that they are having a masquerade ball and ball drop at midnight. So really this became a people watching event for us (kind of fun), as we had no idea this is what they had planned and really we just wanted to eat.

We eat dinner. We have a glass of wine, we have dessert and coffee. By this time it's about 11 p.m. and I am starting to feel like I'm ready to leave BUT it is only an hour until midnight so we decided to stay till then, and then leave immediately.

So around 11:15-ish We order one more glass of wine to have something to toast in the new year. I bet I had one MAYBE two SIPS of this glass as I am really starting to feel WEIRD! I start feeling REALLY nauseous, and almost drunk. Again, I had not had that much to drink (one full glass of wine). I ask my husband, what time is it ? He says 11:40p.m. I am now feeling REALLY, REALLY weird but am holding on for midnight and then we're outta there.

Again I ask... what time is it? He says 11:55 p.m. And I think; Thank God, it's almost over and we will leave.


Stroke of midnight! Woo hoo... Okay, we have a quick smooch and the band and patrons begin to sing auld lang syne. I bet it's not more than 12:03 a.m. and I say to my husband, again, I feel weird/bad!! Now I'm feeling like I am going to vomit right there at the table! I am trying to decide if I can make it to a bathroom, or just get the heck outside. I said... honey I FEEL REALLY WEIRD AND I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW! He had already had a credit card out to pay our tab. He understood and was trying.

At 12:03 a.m. while singing was going on and after I made my statement of I have to get out of here, I stood up (in my mind I’m headed outside) and that is the last thing I remember.

The next thing I see is my husband over me (I'm on the floor) and he’s yelling my name at me repeatedly. Checking to see if I'm breathing! I also see TONS of people in masquerade masks, and some saying, "are you okay"? The house lights are ALL on and blazing bright! The band has stopped. I am confused!! I am looking at my husband’s face which is in sheer panic and concern. I start to tell my husband "tell them!" (all these people at the place hovered around and over me, looking down at me on the floor), "tell them honey". He doesn't know what I mean by this and starts to tell them "she's my wife!" I'm like NOOO, and I say, it's okay, it's okay, I have a Neurological disease. I'm okay now. I felt sure they were thinking a) she's wasted b) she is having a heart attack or any number of things.


Husband trying to find his wallet and credit card that was on the table, now on the floor. People were so nice and trying to help us. We collect our things and leave. We are sitting in the car and I am having my husband fill in the blanks because I can't remember a darn thing from the time I stood up.

So apparently I go to stand up at our table to walk out of there. I collapse forward unconscious! The table is giving way and pushing down and forward at us (we had been sitting side by side at a table for four). Very FULL glasses of RED wine that we really hadn’t touched, and glasses of water, and me now tumbling at us/him. My husband was seated to the right of me. He now has all this coming at him and is pushed back on the back two legs of his chair about to fall out of his chair himself. Someone pushes him forward as to regain four chair legs on the floor. I guess the table pushed me back and I fell backwards and I believe there was a large group of people directly behind me that broke my fall. Thank God and yet I pray I didn't hurt any of them.

Here's what I know as we're leaving. I am dripping wet, not a little... like SOAKING wet in alcohol, water, whatever. yuck! I was SOOOOOOO embarrassed, humiliated saying things like “I hope I didn't ruin your party”. “I'm SOOOO SORRY”!! Trying to speak at the management staff so that they can clearly see that I AM NOT DRUNK! Not even close!! They were trying to figure out if I needed an ambulance or what.


So like I said, we're sitting in the car talking, reviewing, trying to come to grips with what the hell just happened. I am thinking/saying wow, this is crazy because I feel so much better now! No more sick feeling. My head feels clear, etc. He pauses.... I see that he has begun to weep. But like most men, wipes/dries his eyes and quickly shakes the emotional stuff off. I scared the crap out of him.... and me too!

I’ve had days of this weird feeling recently, but had no idea the end result could be collapsing!! As recent as driving my daughter somewhere on Christmas Eve. I just thought MAYBE it’s some vertigo stuff. But it felt different, and I knew it. You know, denial works right up until it doesn’t!

Wow guys.. things are getting scary! It took until the end of day yesterday for all this to really hit me, emotionally anyway. So I plan to call my doc today. I'm all done driving until we figure this out, and that sucks more than I can express. It’s devastating really. What the hell am I going to do to get my kiddo from school, etc.?? I am feeling more and more robbed of my independence. I’m one of the most independent people you’ll ever meet. Fiercely independent!

I had to tell my children, especially my youngest (11 y/o) last night what to do if it happens again and they are alone with me.

So I am starting to cry guys.... I'm gonna go for now. I am so tried of all this friggin CRAP! I mean… really… really sick of it!!