I can't quit the game, but I wish the coach would see how tired I am and take me out
I LIKE THIS THOUGHT ..... HA! I AGREE MOST DAYS. JOAN

Vicc hi.. nope hadn't a clue all I read was the article and it touched home so I thought I'd share.

I too have felt or said things about just not waking up'd be easier before a procedure but it was when I was in a deeper depression or more pain.. cause I wanna live damnit and I will fight this.. but at times the pains so bad I wanna die and I empathise.. I have only been dealing with this 2 years now but it seems like a lifetime.
hugs bud

Roz thanks for the info I always look forward to your posts I hope your days are going well for ya.

hi everyone,

reading that really hit home. i've thought all of those things but i always keep them to myself. that is my life. iam going to try and show this to my husband and kids. mabey this time they will read it.

sue k

I've read this several times just to see the response from others.
Once again Thank for posting it.

Joan M,i to mostly free sad. But dropping things like a far to big
carton of expensesive Soy milk,when i know my hands can't lift
I get angry,but when i do it in the grocery store embarrassed.
Also it seem like everything i need and is made out of glass is
on top self and i'm looking up from my wheelchair,i get frustated.
But the people in Mo. stop and offer help,then i feel grateful.

But the kids standing around talking in any store when my pain meds
are losing there kick,i'm back to angry. I once yelled HELP ME you
nitwit are i'm put you in this chair,all i got was more pain.

But no matter what those tears we shed are healing tears,and i know
I want to live. If nothing else to annoy my beautiful 3 children and love
my new grandson. Oh shoot they all live to far away. Tears again,
but happy ones because there all doing well. to all Sue PN
and all the other things those Drs. have found.

Wow.

Powerful essay.

Most people have no clue what we have to hide every day. I get so frustrated and angry with what I cannot do anymore that I will go overboard and do more than I should, just to prove to myself that I still have some kind of self-respect. Then, I end up depressed as my super-human efforts go unnoticed, and their results even ignored!!!!!

I've been dealing with this almost two years now. Three years ago, I confess that I would have wondered if most of us were not just whiners or crazy, drug-addicted depressives. I admit, I found myself convicted and guilty as I dealt, and continue to deal, with just those attitudes from others. I had someone ask me recently about a mutual aquaintance who is having severe mental/social problems and has been acting in bizzare ways. This person had many of these issues prior to her CRPS dianosis, and people were trying to say that she is 'faking' the CRPS to not be held responsible for her behavior. I couldn't give them the answer they wanted. I had to say that her standing mental illness is actually making the CRPS treatment harder, and she probably is suffering more than they give her credit for. "Oh", was the only response.

I was also angry at God. I stopped going to church. Over time, I realized that my anger was really displaced. It takes different people different amounts of time to heal, and some never do. I just cannot imagine trying to go through this alone, and with no hope. At least I have that again.


I think most of us can relate to this essay at some point in our journey. Her words stunned me in their accuracy of how I have felt at times(thankfully few), but have been so afraid to let anyone see. The hope in it is that for most of us, it passes, at least for long enough to get our bearings back again.

Personally, I wasn't drawn into clicking on the ads, so I got to miss that part of the whole thing.....

Thanks Sandel!