[mommystime2]

Having a rough day, pain bad anxiety high, want to cry, don't know where to turn. It's been a long time for me to have to reach out to someone. I've tried relaxing, I've tried driving because driving even tho causes pain makes me feel better mentally. Can't sleep, eat sometimes not often it isn't staying where it should. I feel useless, worthless, and horrible. No I'm not suicidal. Too me suicide isn't an answer, it's a problem. But as I've said many times if I fall asleep n don't wake up I'm ok with that because I don't fear death, death should fear me. Anyone been here? Got any advice? Trying to not blow up at family and just getting my points a crossed aren't working. Feel like I'm in a big rut with a tiny Prius and not finding away out

[Russell]

Originally Posted by mommystime2

Having a rough day, pain bad anxiety high, want to cry, don't know where to turn. It's been a long time for me to have to reach out to someone. I've tried relaxing, I've tried driving because driving even tho causes pain makes me feel better mentally. Can't sleep, eat sometimes not often it isn't staying where it should. I feel useless, worthless, and horrible. No I'm not suicidal. Too me suicide isn't an answer, it's a problem. But as I've said many times if I fall asleep n don't wake up I'm ok with that because I don't fear death, death should fear me. Anyone been here? Got any advice? Trying to not blow up at family and just getting my points a crossed aren't working. Feel like I'm in a big rut with a tiny Prius and not finding away out

Hi mom,
I just read your post. Yep, been there and had it! Not a good place to be for sure.
Luckily I went to spiritual tradition last weekend and that helped me a lot to deal with it all. Reminding me of a greater control than this monster and enabled me to take my thoughts from this monster.
I think the best way to deal with this is to except it is what it is.
Having family and friends who understand is a plus but we don't always have that luxury. Except having this seems to help deal somehow.
I am lucky to be able to give myself to mother earth but not everyone, if anyone, else in here is native so it's hard to explain.
I am sorry for you pain and will think of you in meditation.
Be well my friend...

[mommystime2]

I do understand native culture, I will be visiting my native friend soon in Missouri, it'll be a long trip but I need her for sure, this to will pass I'm sure, I'm just not sure when

[Russell]

Originally Posted by mommystime2

I do understand native culture, I will be visiting my native friend soon in Missouri, it'll be a long trip but I need her for sure, this to will pass I'm sure, I'm just not sure when

I'm Blackfoot, you?

[mommystime2]

Me? No. My best friend is. She is actually an Indian princess. I'm not good with all the language but she can handle me n straighten me out lol

[Russell]

Originally Posted by mommystime2

Me? No. My best friend is. She is actually an Indian princess. I'm not good with all the language but she can handle me n straighten me out lol

Do you know what tribe?

[mommystime2]

Originally Posted by Russell

Do you know what tribe?

I do but memory is shot, I will let ya know when I remember lol I know it's out of Missouri

[Littlepaw]

Hi Mom,

If you feel like you just want to cry, you best go on ahead. As Moms well know, sometimes a good cry is what you need. Breath deep and release when you are done. Living with pain day in and day out, trying to take care of yourself and your family can be exhausting. Nobody can be superwoman all the time. It is natural to feel vulnerable when your resilience is down. Give yourself credit for having what it takes to make it through five with this. This is just one of those down days and there will be better ones around the corner, I know this because Russ is hoping for them for all of us.

When I got stuck in a deep rut and my Mini couldn't get me out, I found a therapist who specialized in chronic illness and pain. She was tremendous help to me in coping. If your sadness and anxiety do not lift finding someone to help carry the burden is a good option.

Keep it simple for a few days. Do the little nurturing things that make the small moments better. Take a nice soak, eat something clean and simple if you can, leave a chore until tomorrow. Know that prayers for healing and restoration are coming your way.

Sending soft hugs,

[EnglishDave]

Hi Mom,

I agree with Russ and Littlepaw, but I also have a small, practical idea. As driving frees you mentally, take your little car somewhere beautiful and peaceful and watch the sunset. Meditate on that moment if you are able, or just enjoy the tranquility.

This will pass, just use the Forum and it's Members as sounding boards instead of possibly being short at home.

Dave.

[mommystime2]

Ok so I don't have a little car but I know they get stuck easy.