from what I read, correct me if I'm wrong, the company pays all bills/treatment relating to RSD. Your emotional well being is dampened as a result of this RSD. Get them to pay for counseling. You deserve it. You can prove it by going to any and all major websites that specifically deal with RSD and print the list of necessary and probable treatments. You will find psychological help is ALWAYS on the list of treatments needed for people with RSD.

Hugs.

something else to consider. You can apply for social security disability. I applied and was approved the first time out. It is based only on you, not what your husband makes. Give it a try. Just remember to always give the worse day . good luck

Jumk4mye-mail--Yes! Re-reading Pookie's post, she DOES have "open medical" to pay for future treatment!

Pookie--as E-mail pointed out, you should be entitled to Counseling for your RSD--that is just STANDARD for RSD, as is "multidisciplinary pain management", which IN ADDITION to Counseling, helps the RSD/chronic pain sufferer different, more positive ways to cope with pain.

AND--yes! As e-mail and LostMary pointed out, If you have been UNABLE to work for at least ONE YEAR as a result of the RSD, then you SHOULD apply for SSDI, ASAP. I too, qualified for SSDI on the basis of my RSD.

SSDI considers the inability of the applicant to perforn any "substantial gainful employement", which means, not being able to earn $900 per month.
AND, once you qualify, there is a "waiting period", BUT you will then be eligible for MEDICARE, which will cover you for all OTHER medical needs, (Your IC wil be paying for the RSD onyour open medical claim)...

AND--IF you qualify for SSDI, AND you might want to try to do a little part-time work, SSDI has different "programs" that will allow you to do so WITHOUT LOSING your SSDI benefits OR MEDICARE! ( I just recently learned this, and it is very promising.. away to earn a little something, working at my OWN pace from home, and feeling PRODUCTIVE).

Some of the programs will even pay for school, and special adaptive equipment that you might need...

There are a LOT of POSITIVE OPTIONS and OPPORTUNITIES out there for you, Pookie!

Most Respectfully,

POOKIE
Hey some times you have to take care of yourself and your kids first, why not you and your daughter first? you all deserve a break, hey a vacation a small one sounds like you all need that get your minds off of everything.
Sounds like you hubby is living in a time warp and thinks he is the BOSS! and if you think that amount was right for you and you made your stand as you say and taught the company a lesson good for you, dont second guess your award it was what you thought was fair.
To you I wish you the best and get your pool aqa therapy is great.

i don't know you but i feel as though i have walked in your shoes regarding your feelings and issues about your daughter at least. i know just what you mean. my daughter is eleven also and i haven't been on a bike ride with her since she was seven and there are days when i feel so guilty about all of it that i can hardly breathe. i don't have a husband to deal with cuz i was divorce almost ten yrs ago, but i CAN tell you what happened while i was getting divorced. my lovely ex emptied out the bank account, all of it, every last dime, took the car, cut up all of my clothes, stole my jewelry and left me and his two kids completely and totally flat broke and refused to have visitation with the kids because he didn't want me to be able to go out and have a life of my own. please take the advice of all these smart women here and put something away for you just in your name "just in case" like you said it's really not that much $ and someday you might truly need it just to survive. i don't want to sound preachy but i have been there and done that, and i don't want anybody else suffering the way that i did. also you migh want to read posts from unrouley1 regarding her current homeless situation and what she is going through because of hubbys actions. please think about yourself and kids. it's absolutely neccessary and absolutely the right thing to do. hope you have better days soon and congrats on enrolling in school! you are obviously a strong person and i must say i admire you and your decision to keep on keepin on. take care and take more care, jenny

jenny,
that was great of you to share your expeiences. i agree with all the ideas of therapy but i also have known many a woman, who trusted a man, and lost everything when they just up and left.
i have had many trials with my husband over my long journey through rsd land. at first we cried together and he was kind and helpful, and then he got sick of it because he realized that it was forever. we are both with seperate therapists now. i got really tough thanks to my therapist, and said therapy or out and i meant it. men do not deal well with things they cannot fix, and i was always hearing about how 'if' i had stayed working we would have this and that and do this and that ... well unfortuantely 'if' does not exist.
i will also add, that years ago, pre rsd, my husband was hmmm ...let me say 'acting up' and i pulled every cent out of the bank before he even thought of it. i had two children to support and he was not taking anything. so, it is sad, but we have to protect ourselves and our children first and foremost, rsd or no rsd.
keep writing, if you can't get therapy, we can at we last support you here. oh, and as for your daughter, she will adjust to whatever you are, kids are wonderful! i have six, soon to have 8 grandchildren, one living with me right now because 'non rsd' people cannot handle him! .... and so see, you are more than your rsd, and you have great gifts to offer your child. you cannot ride a bike, but you are her mom! and you are there for her! and that is the greatest gift of all. joan

Tracy,
You should really put that money away for an emergency. My husband got money when his mother died. I begged him to pay our mortgage up a few months and pay on the gas and lights. But to him his favorite words are "free money". If he had done that, (we are both disabled) we would not have lost our house. After 25 yrs of marriage you would have thought i would have some say in the matter. RSD can be expensive. Meds, Dr.appts. and more new meds. With what you have to deal with, treat yourself and then save some. your husband can wait.

Sue k.

All of these girls have good stories to tell and I would listen to them. I haven't went through what they did. I was married 35 years to a good man that was also disabled but the man worked his ***** off for us to have something. He bought and sold antiques on the side and when he passed 8 months ago he left me with my home almost paid off. I only owed 5000. more on it when I lost him. I have everything I need. I still do need another vehicle but my truck is still going strong. Next month I will have my place paid off and another vehicle.

He could be a pain at times. He was determined to be the man of the house and take care of me and Susan. He was old school. At times it seemed like control to me but I finally realized I couldn't work anyway so I let him do what he needed to do.

As far as your husband, he doesn't sound like that kind of person. Bill never once said that if I would work we would have something. I really can't picture a good man saying that to his wife no more then she would him if he were disabled.

I recall a girl on the TOS forum who got her settlement and her husband bought him a new car and new motorcycle with HER settlement and left her very broke and in such bad shape for about 4 years until she got her SS. She didn't have kids to support either.

I would definately think about where that money should go myself. Maybe buy him one or two small things or one bigger item and you one item such as he pool and the fence which wouldn't be all that much and then put the other back.

As far as the bills. Go to these people and tell them you will make payments until they get paid off.

I don't remember if you said your husband was working or not. If he is then stretch his money as far as you can with paying the bills and put that aside for your emergencies.

As far as councelling for you, I would say they also offer free councelling somewhere through Social Services. They do here. At least for you. Give him an ultimatum as one girl said and if he won't go then go by yourself. If he doesn't meet you halfway then odds are he doesn't care enough to keep the marriage going.

Stand your ground and take care of yourself and your daughter. She is what's most important and think about the fact that most likely you will not be able to hold down another job.

Good luck on your decisions you make and hang around for the support that you will get from all of these good people.

Ada

I want oto thank everyone for there input. It all helps. I did apply for disability in the early stages twice and was denied twice. At that point I had no diagnoses, but I was put on permanent restrictions like no repetitive motion to the left hand, lifting restriction of only 2-3 pounds in the left hand and no sustained pinching or grasping with the left hand. Disability said that I could still work therefore they denied me. I gave up at that point because of my depression so I am afraid to go try again. I don't want to get anymore depressed than I already am. My husband will not go to church. He calls us bible thumpers. He beleives in god but he will not go to church. Don't get me wrong he is not a horrible man, its just sometimes he speaks before he thinks. I tell him how bad he hurts me, but he shows no emotion. In the 14 years that we have been married he may have shed tears 4-5 times. He does not show emotion. He just keeps on a plugging as he phrases it. I do love him a whole lot, it is just a tough road to travel for all of us because I am only 34 and had big plans to help him with his farm and do so many things with my family and in one instant all our dreams were shattered because of my injury. It is just not fair. I know life is not fair sometimes, but why me?

Tracy

Hi.

My research and appointments with lawyers have left me with an opinion that if a settlement is offered you are lucky if you get better than 35% of the gross lost income and benefit total (taxes, costs, etc.). Many lawyers will take cases and have the client sign for 20% - 35% of net settlement award to cover costs. Unfortunately, being disabled never works out that it's fair and its unlikely to recoup a significant portion of future lost income.

I definitely understand why you settled.... the insurance company never goes away and will continually try and find reasons for you to be employed regardless of how unlikely and horrible this would be.

If you're not on an anti-depressent I would suggest that you discuss this with your doctor. Depression is a symptom of dealing with this illness. Also there is an affect on the brain which helps calm some of the mis-firing that is part of CRPS.

If you have coverage or if you can access local, publically funded counselling you might benefit from this as well. You'll have to redefine your successes within the limitations that this illness places on you.

I wish you the best,
Miss Irie