Sorry I haven't been on, most of you know what kind of year i've had. We are having a really hard time with the holiday's coming up. It will be the first without our little girl, and even thou I know she's in heaven....I'm having a really, really hard time. For any of you that has lost a child, you know what I'm going thru. I am trying so hard for my other daughters, and they do help, but it's always there, the memories and the pain. It doesn't help that the only way my husband can cope is by acting as if she never was here. He doesn't want to see her pictures, doesn't want to talk about her. I know it is his way, and that he is hurting as much as I am, but we are slowing drifting apart. His family is coming for thanksgiving next week, a famiy tradition, but I think we need to be alone with our girls next week. So, more fighting, more stress. I just don't know how to move on. How do you deal with the loss of a child, when you have 2 more who need all your attention. Our older girls were on the back burner during Josie's illness, so I feel they really deserve all my attention now. The problem is, I just can't seem to get it together, and neither can my spouse. SO, the question is???? how do I cope, how do I move on, and how do I help my family? I just needed to vent, and maybe If you have any advice, I'm open to suggestions. We are all going to a family grief counseler. So suggest away, and help me make it thru the holidays.