I dont have many friends either because of this infernal RSD. At first I tried to keep up with them both physically and mentally, but soon learned that I was just slowing most of them down, and did they really care anyways?

They were for the most part totally engrossed in their own selves, and didnt really care too much how they treated me, so it wasnt too long and I wasnt calling them as much. I soon learned that if I didnt make an effort they were pretty much out of my life. I also learned that I felt better not trying to please these self engrossed people, and focused on my family.

At first my family were very concerned with my situation, but soon that turned to indifference as the months and years went by. I found that I was the one that was causing them to react negatively to me. In fact they would try to avoid me at all costs, and when they felt cornered they would let me know how they felt about RSD and me. They mostly considered me a lazy good for nothing. All I wanted was for someone to understand.

That is when I realized that maybe the problem wasnt them so much as it was me. I started paying attention to what I was saying to them every time anyone was around, and realized I was the negative one. Always talking about my aches and pains, how I couldnt do the things I used to.

It soon became apparent to me that I needed a place to go to vent, and complain, and also to connect with those that understood what was going on in my world. The old saying that you wont understand until you walk a mile in others shoes caused me to realize my family really had no idea, and I didnt want them to experience my pain just to find out.

This forum was a life saver in that I could connect with those that understand, just like you have done. I found a place where people truely cared, and I also truely care about them also.

Then I tried real hard to take an interest in what was going on with them...it was a chore because the nagging pain was always trying to take my mind of my mission. It took some time for everyone to realize they didnt have to run everytime they seen me coming LOL.

You really dont need those that sap out your energies, but I do understand needing friends. Maybe cut down the amount of time you spend with these energy zapping friends.

I hope you find some balance with these problems.

Thank you all so much! I am going to have to be a bit general because I can't type for very long right now, or think past the end of my nose
I have taken the advice, and put some space between this friend and myself. I also decided to stop letting people get that close. She was the first friend I really told about the RSD. I have had a few friends that I have told, its hard to hide a purple limb from people. She is the only person in my life, other then my family, that knew me before I had RSD. My husband did not even know me before I had RSD. I think that might make it a bit hard.

I think I disagree a bit from the majority here.

While her temporary melancholy mood does not compare to what you have to deal with everyday, maybe to her it was a big deal. If she is always unfeeling about your pain and disability, that's a different matter and cause for an "ex" friendship........but if she is normally supportive of you and just going through a needy time herself right now, I think it's important to acknowledge that you understand her unhappiness.

If I am upset because my dog just died (just using an example, she's fine !) and I have a friend who lost their child 10 years ago, I think a little sympathy would still be in order for my loss. In the grand scheme of things, I know the loss of a pet does not compare to the loss of a child, but if something happens to my dog, I would be really sad and still "justified" in greiving. If the deaths of the dog and the child happened on the same day, I would never presume to tell my friend, "I know what it's like to lose a loved one", but if they happened some distance apart, I would hope that my friend could still feel sorry for my loss. It doesn't compare to the enormity of hers, but I should be "allowed" to hurt too.

I'm just throwing out another opinion..........not to minimze what you must go through each day, as we all know, chronic pain sux




I hope this is just a temporary self pity party for your friend.......and that she is a good friend the rest of the time.

And.......for the record......I would have woken her up to pick up the dog poop !

Thank you, I agree with a lot of what you said. I am really trying to look at things from her point of view. I am just having a hard time thinking back to problems with my mom, or who is dating who.

Thank you all so much! It feels so good to be able to "talk" with people that understand. My husband will try so hard, but he just can't understand.

I think we, as women, rely on our friends for more emotional support and guys participate in activities together.

I know that my husband would never understand if I said I thought a friend was being thoughtless or inconsiderate......that's pretty much standard operating procedure for how he interacts with people

I hear you.......sad to say but I wish my biggest problem in life was once again that I was running late for work because I had to run a forgotten backpack or lunch to the kids' school. But, back then, I did think that was a big crisis. Ugh !