I'm SO sorry to hear about your beloved pet rat having a stroke, MomInPain

! I know you will make the best decision for him and that you have looked after him really well so don't beat yourself up about it too much - it's NOT your fault!!!!! I know how horrible it is when we have to have our beloved pets put to sleep ... I was SO bad when our Springer Spaniel had to be put to sleep and my mum had to go and get another puppy straight away because she couldn't cope without a dog in her life! My hamster died in my arms also and she had a stroke and it was SO hard to watch - I was only about 10 at the time I think. Thinking about you and please let us know how everything goes with your rat!!
I'm SO glad to hear that the spasms have stopped now ... that is great news!! I really hope that you start feeling better soon and you are in my thoughts and prayers! If you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me!