hi ...i was just sitting here writing in my journal thinking about all the things that i have lost due to my health problems and of course got really upset.. things that i was able to do but can no longer do,people who have left me due to what i am no longer able to do and realized that my job kept me in touch with other people a way out of dwelling on my pains and losses. i am so scared that i will no longer be able to do that for too much longer...even though my job isn't all that important it felt so good to help others. i work for the post office. my job is to put zip codes on mail when people forget to .. i am here worrying about how many people are not going to get their x-mas cards because i am not there..silly isn't it....i also put on stamps for kids who forget and for those that donate money to charities..it makes me feel so worthwhile to do this even though nobody knows i do it ...to know that grandparents are getting the letters from their grandkids and the grandkids are getting the letters from their grandparents...now i will be out of work for another month.. and nobody is going to do this..they all think i am crazy for doing this. they just put them in the dead letter box or send back for postage... with all that is going on in my life right now why is this one of the top things that is upsetting me so much?? i miss making a difference of giving a gift to them without them even knowing it. i called a friend of mine to see if someone was doing my job and she said that there are so many trays of mail waiting for me to do...and they won't leave them for much longer. the bosses were already complaining and telling them to get rid of them to dead letter..now i know i will not be there for them and it is just one more thing i am unable to do.... maybe this vertigo will end sooner and i can get back to helping others...but i seem to have not much luck lately...sorry this is a crazy thing to vent about with all that everyone and myself are going thru but i had to get it out..not that it makes it any easier to cope with...thanks for letting me vent....moonstar