My mom is very ill in the hospital. She has several serious underlying medical conditions but was brought in the ER from the nursing home for non-responsiveness and fever of 103. In the ER they found that she has a urinary tract infection (her third in a five weeks) and an additional weight loss of nine pounds since June 30. She has a big red balloon-looking thing on her elbow which they told me is sepsis . The ER doctor said she is in terminal decline which I have never heard of. She now weighs 104, in March she weighed 123, June 30 she weighed 114 I think it was. She is like a feather in the bed, it is almost impossible that she is so thin and frail.

Hospice has been called in, we have a living will and DNR, and the doctor has put her on comfort care. I understand that this all means that her infections and other issues do not get treated. I have also been advised to withold IV fluids (my mom cannot swallow) because I have been told to give them will prolong the inevitable. My mom is on morphine because she is in pain. This is so horrible. We have been helping my mom repair her house to make it more senior-friendly and now I am being told she will not make it home. She may never see her nice clean house or new floor or paint colors she picked out. I can't believe this is happening.

I feel so helpless. I can't stand the thought of my mom being thirsty. I am thinking of telling the hospital this and that I do not want her fluids restricted after all, but then I don't want her to suffer, either. But I don't want to be selfish, and cause her pain or make things worse by giving her fluids that do nothing for her, but make me feel better. Does anyone have any suggestions?

She sometimes opens her beautiful eyes but doesn't see me. This is so very hard. I just wish I could make her all better.