dear friends

blessings for the day

today is a day of crying
tears that hurt
tears that ache
tears that moan
never ending tears
better to know
doesn't always
make things easy
simple clean white
morning ocean breeze
with the most beautiful
sunrise slowly
as i take my stride
ever so slowly
the warmth of the sun
healing my innards
my heart mind sense
of who i have become
against all these thoughts
pain sets in and strips my
mind of such beautiful
daydreams
by the time my
meds are in me
in the end my mind
is being stolen by
the effects of the meds
come the next day i only
remember 3/4 0f it
i know all meds related
negative thoughts i have
and fight off
dear Lord
humble i must be
humble i must remain
grateful i must must be
grateful i must remain
my mind is constantly
working my not being able
and reminded slow is your
speed now eva *****big time
thank you for another day
let me not forget i am
gifted with a family
a real live family growing
eva is so delicious
olie tried so hard to make
friends he remembers her smell
and she just wailed him sniffing
her toes i felt so badly for him
how the little things are important
embrace and hold
it here one moment
the next gone
thank you the opportunity
dear Lord
of what is planned for my
life
eva soooo much love
the world needs
be kind
do not judge
my brother-in-law
still not out of the woods
i pray when while recouping
coming out of the woods
his feeling be of a soft fresh field
as far as the eye could see
new baby grass that him
and my nephew could roll
in together
help my sister with her
very serious problem
still pumping of herself
anything for her family
although divorced and
remarried someone else
they have survived and
parent their son together
may all be well today
may we learn and share
loving respect toward
one another
Amen

So unfortunate the meds that help with the pain also effect your loss of much of your memory. I take many meds; including a total of 240mg's a day of Oxycontin, also take Percocet for breakthru, Vallium 5mg twice a day. Ambien CR for sleep. I take other meds for throid, etc.; but these are the only meds I take because of the pain. None of these cause me any memory problems. I wonder what you might be taking that is causing the memory problems.

( I will admit, the Ambien does make you a bit groggy and if you get up during the night; the memory may not be so good. But this is for sleep because it is the only way I can get sleep with all this pain. but does not affect my daytime memory.)

ASAP (Always Say A Prayer) for you Eva.

(Gerry)

dear Gerry

sleeping meds i have not taken
i have been on the same meds
nothing changed
i just never expressed the payoff
you take for one thing
and side effects
are not new i am
not interested in any more surgeries
that is now accepting that
the meds i am on aren't new
oncologist started me on pill
tamoxifen hot flashes in the works
in the morning until around 6 or 7 in the evening
get up the next day
i have trouble recalling anything after 6or7 evening
hours the next day
and not all of the time but it does happen
might be muscle relaxer
you are a gem
thank you
i hope i am making sense
trying to write this
wishing you well

Me too eva, today I cannot stop crying. I have surgery coming up, and I am all upset. I was misdiagnosed for 7 years, and kept in a state of pain. Now I have to fix this problem, and there are no guarantees I will be able to walk when all is said and done. I very frightened, as I have multipal medical conditions on top of this. I will keep you in my prayers too Eva, send a prayer or two my way OK? You are never far from my thoughts, and neither are the folks at NT. I know where to go when I am hurting, right here with all of you. ginnie

dear ginnie

holding you tight in my arms
we will move forward no choice
together all go through so much
this is where turn to our Maker
and have the trust and faith
it will all work out in the end
i am with you prayers

Matthew 5:3-10

I will say amen

Sweet beautiful Eva, pure of heart and dedicated,
Loving prayerful Ginnie, merciful to all who need while in need herself,
Delightful in faith Gerry, bringing the Lord to each hand in hand with her husband at the painting,
Bringer of joy Fiona, always deep in faith, a teacher of The Way who draws us along on her journey,
Precious to the Son Rae, who writes Truth from heart and The Word in cheer,


So many, so many who come here with hearts of hope while wearing bodies fulled with pain,
the path littered with pain med bottles,
many for years have known hardship,
and we all reach to faith for in faith there is hope, in hope there is peace, in peace there is love, through love there is everlasting joy,
may we all reach clear through the veil of tears to the spring of joy
freshened with flowers, grandchildren who bring smiles aplenty, restored by the best means of restoration God can and will deliver,
realizing all of the while we have been the children who were fashioned to know complete love and contentment,
God fills our space with presence abundant,
Life filled to the full beyond the reach of the deceiver who would have us question God,
so taken up in joy, we can spit, and not hit Olie the curious who wants to befriend little Eva......

Among my favorite images is Jesus, mouth open wide, eyes squinted shut in a belly laugh of all belly laughs........... ponder that image a bit......... it will bring even a moment of cheer to the life darkened by the most miserable pain.

Blessed and grateful,
Prayin too, for all,
Mark56

Perhaps we all can have empathy because we hurt ourselves. When a person understands the pain of another, you can reach out, even when your own pain isn't good. This is a gift from God. Maybe some of the trials we go through are lessons about how we are to treat each other while we are on this earth. I feel more compassion here, than I have felt in my life. I feel so blessed that I found a place that has both compassion and prayer.
I am having a rough time, and I have many things to address before I can go through my coming surgery. I begin that journey next wed. I have to go to my surgeons pain specialist for post op care. I really don't like being handed off to some doctor who does not know me. Also I had a world of trouble for my fusion and pain control for my last proceedure. I was caught between two doctors that would not communicate between each other. I can't go through that again. Also I need to know what exactly is going to be done with the surgery. Just knowing I am going to receive three incisions, is not enough information for me to go ahead and do this. I don't go blindly anymore into situations I am not comfortable with. My surgeon did not explain the surgery I am going to have done, nor did he show me my MRI, or the results of that test. He just told me where the incisions would be, nothing more. So I have this journey to find out more in the next few weeks. Please pray for me, that I can learn enough to feel comfortable to go through this kind of surgery. I am not even sure, my right foot will support my weight, when I am non weight bearing on the other foot. What if I can't? The other ankle isn't so good either and has not been investigated. thanks for listening. I am praying for both of you too. ginnie

You are Blessed, for you have God,
You are Blessed, for you have questions of great concern formed in your mind and can and will write them down to take to the hospital for surgery, the most important "can you please explain to me exactly so I understand the procedure YOU are going to perform on me today?"
You are Blessed, for YOU ARE IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT AS THE PATIENT-
1. No hospital in the land will allow a patient to proceed through surgery without signing a form, which, among other things, lets the hospital feel comfortable the patient understands what is going on. You do not, so, let them know when you are able to "give informed consent" you will sign their paperwork which is presented to you in the surgical prep suite.
2. No anesthesiologist in the land, the next person you will see that morning in the surgical prep suite, will allow you to proceed unless you sign off giving informed consent to the procedure and the anesthetic which will be used on you that day. Let them know you do not understand what is going on that day in the surgery, and then ask questions you have of the anesthesiologist what type of anesthetic is planned to be used. What will the side effects, if any, of the anesthesia be so you are prepared. Thank them for asking for your consent but remind them again you really do not understand what the surgeon is going to do. HUGE alarm bells will go off.
3. The next important person you will see, and perhaps in a huff, will be your own surgeon, who will have come clipboard in hand asking for your signature on an informed consent to the surgery. The surgeon may be irritable because you have let it be known you have not received a good explanation what is to occur. That is OK, because under ethics and the very protections the lawyer who represents the doctor has already advised them, they D A M [oh, perish the thought, I left of the N] well BETTER EXPLAIN TO EVERY PATIENT WHAT IS HAPPENING SO THE PATIENT CAN SIGN OFF TO A MEANINGFUL INFORMED CONSENT ABOUT THE PROCEDURE you are to receive that day. I know, because I have written such forms before.

Now, you doctor will regain their composure and try their best to explain what should have been explained to you adequately in your previous pre-surgery appointment. It is too late to schedule another appointment to get the information, so, the conversation may be pretty quick, as operating room time is tightly scheduled in all hospitals and surgery centers, Listen closely. Ask questions if you have them. Be conscientious of the doctor's time and your need to know.

Hopefully, you will have then gained enough information to sign the form, receive the care, and move on to healing and a hoped for and prayed for good result.

You are Blessed among us,
Print this page if you want, and take it with you. Hand it to yor surgeon so you can direct the surgeon to number three above to ask your question in a way you feel more comfortable if you wish, because YOU are your only advocate when you are dealing with your surgeon. This merely helps you prepare to ask your quesiton "what are you doing to me today?"
Then rest in repose, being informed, knowing we will pray for you, for your surgeon and surgical team, for the NURSES [ this is a tribute to Pooh AC, a veteran operating room nurse] for the nurses are unsung heroes of the day when care is given, and for your caregiver- who will drive you to the hospital and home again,
God go before you,
God be with you in the surgery,
God bring you safely home,
Praying for all,
Mark56