NeuroTalk Support Groups - this is just a place to vent

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- - this is just a place to vent (https://www.neurotalk.org/scs-and-pain-pumps/190045-vent.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luthier (Post 1118024)

I'm really tired that just because I got the implant put in that people think that I'm cured and look at me like I'm faking when I'm in pain. I can't use the implant all the time. It feels good and all but it's really distracting and I can't focus on what I need to focus on when I'm working.

I'm really tired of my asshole boss his little minion Lew that throws me under the boss any chance he gets and continues to call me a cripple and ***** for sitting down when I need to, just because I'm the youngest in the wood shop, and the other perfectly healthy 40 year old dude can stand all day. WELL GOOD FOR HIM, I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT.

I know that I'm doing pretty well considering the stage of RSD that I'm in. But I'm tired of having to take care of everyone. I have this curse and I still drive my own truck and I still work a 40 hour work week and it ****ing sucks, it's horrible. But I don't have a choice, I have to work. I have to be able to pay the bills and eat. But the main part of it is, is that I'm tired of being the only one in the house hold that's actually responsible. I'm the only one of the three total people in the house that pays bills and buys food. Oh and I'm also again the youngest. 27 year old taking care of a 30 and a 38 year old, who both have full time jobs like me, but **** off bills that keep a roof over their head because they're idiotic selfish human beings.

Mostly I'm just tired of being taken advantage of. I know that I'm too nice and that I do a lot for people. But I do actually like to help people. Like if I give you gas money for taking me somewhere, Don't buy cigarettes with it. That's shitty.

I'm also really scared that I'm going to be alone. And I'm depressed that I'm alone. Because since the surgery I feel pretty good, and a lot more confident at that, but as soon as someone finds out that I have a medical Implant, they're like "**** this dude" god forbid they find out what it's for. I just want the opportunity to be able to spend my life with someone who I can actually believe that they have feelings for me. That would be pretty awesome.

I'm tired that my folks are up my *** about everything I do because they're so right winged republican that it makes my head hurt. Yes mom, I smoke weed. It's pretty cool, it makes my mind slow down and it makes my leg not hurt. Also gives me a pretty descent appetite when I'm in to much pain to eat. I know that I'm asking for it if I'm the one that told them, but they're still dumb, but of course, I still love them.

And I'm tired of being tired all the time. which is one thing that I can do something about here pretty soon.

Good night all and thanks for listening to me *****!

Sorry, I forgot that you can't cuss on this forum.......my bad

But, we do get the point Luthier. IT....the stuff which brings us through pain to this place is a rotten deal, but with one another and the therapies we thankfully receive many of us do live better than we would otherwise live. I feel blessed.

It is a good result......over all.
Thanks again,
M56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark56 (Post 1118034)

I'm sorry mark, I can't respond to that in a nice manner, for the sake of the other people that belong to this forum, I'll just not respond. Even though I'm kind of responding, by saying that "I'll just not respond."

ya know i jumped out of my bed this morning still dark outside
hobbled through the other end of the apartment her room is stationed a bathroom outside her room a beautiful room at that
i walked into her room
started crying
i had forgotten she returned home yesterday
and also forgotten she slept in my bed along with my granddaughter
dear Brother
i can't go through this again
the difference this time i am ill crippled useless
my attitude is as open and honest it can ever get
my eldest so angry at my illnesses

Eva,

Know you are not alone,
Caring with/for you,

Gerry

Caring in all ways possible.
All ways and always,
Squeezing you tightly in hugs,
M56 :hug:

Dear Eva

For every waking moment
A thought streams out to you,
Cutting through the pains
That bind us.
That thought carries with it
Strength. Hope. Compassion.
Feel my thought,
Be Comforted.

Dave.

it goes without saying
i think about what you offer me
to kick some butts is not how i want begin
a relationship
for example the new secretary
from our in house property management
office
sweet young woman my daughters age
"your going to have to move your car"
handed her my keys
told her to tell Roslyn
do what you have to do and find
a tiny little hole

that attitude comes from lying to me
it will cost them by
finding me a hole in a wall
that's how tiny it is
i am on the top level
in the exposed elements (mother nature)
mother to nurture her babies
i told the father "
you seem to forget
at thirty you both lie
don't have your foul turd together
made me a mom all over again
when will she stop
struggling fighting
abandonment issue could
become a problem

in Jesus i trust
in Jesus i trust
in Christ name
Amen!

feeling your message

sending
the strongest feeling of all

LOVE
in abundance
me

Between the hours of 9 and 10pm GMT (4-5pm Eastern) I Meditate to clear and focus my mind to come on here after my meds at 10.
From 9:30ish I Meditate on Loving Kindness. That was once generalized, but is now in part focussed on my friends and fellow members - and especially you Eva - here at NeuroTalk.
Take time to think of me while I am thinking of you.

Dave.