NeuroTalk Support Groups - this is just a place to vent

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- - this is just a place to vent (https://www.neurotalk.org/scs-and-pain-pumps/190045-vent.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnglishDave (Post 1121088)

Between the hours of 9 and 10pm GMT (4-5pm Eastern) I Meditate to clear and focus my mind to come on here after my meds at 10.
From 9:30ish I Meditate on Loving Kindness. That was once generalized, but is now in part focussed on my friends and fellow members - and especially you Eva - here at NeuroTalk.
Take time to think of me while I am thinking of you.

Dave.

know that i do
me

its just blows

so badly

blows

me

it's come to a head

i look and look
and see and know
and gave just to give

someone not so long ago said
something like this

how can my family (children) not see the added pain
inflicted
no matter which one of my kids it be
speaking with my shrink about the last inconsiderate
words chosen by my daughter
said to me
this will be her LAST of
"Skyline Sessions"
a venue of my apartment for her gig
it was a idea i suggested
having a one month session featuring random
artist (poetry) this month featured Megan Falley
because of a simple question
that i believe
had nothing to do with me
to have maybe sweep or dry mop the
floor stepping on rock salt
not a good thing
i awoke to unexpected dried leftover
cheese fondue
spoons and all
and i nicely told her

OH MY GOD!
ALL HELL ROSE

LUCKILY
i had just spoken about it
with my shrink
this morning
the child i am inspired by
also hurt me in a way i never imagined possible
we aren't the same
this is true
i like it real
disappointed
me

Aw Heck and Gone Again

I am so sorry to read you have been hurt still again.

So sorry. :hug:

Big HUGZ to you,
M56 :hug:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark56 (Post 1123546)

I am so sorry to read you have been hurt still again.

So sorry. :hug:

Big HUGZ to you,
M56 :hug:

dear friend

its the end

we over spoke each other

and as she said

"DONE"

me

how do i stop
and do as they do
and not give a turd
please
someone teach me
get hard and get over it
it's to draining
me

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luthier (Post 1118024)

I'm really tired that just because I got the implant put in that people think that I'm cured and look at me like I'm faking when I'm in pain. I can't use the implant all the time. It feels good and all but it's really distracting and I can't focus on what I need to focus on when I'm working.

I'm really tired of my asshole boss his little minion Lew that throws me under the boss any chance he gets and continues to call me a cripple and ***** for sitting down when I need to, just because I'm the youngest in the wood shop, and the other perfectly healthy 40 year old dude can stand all day. WELL GOOD FOR HIM, I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT.

I know that I'm doing pretty well considering the stage of RSD that I'm in. But I'm tired of having to take care of everyone. I have this curse and I still drive my own truck and I still work a 40 hour work week and it ****ing sucks, it's horrible. But I don't have a choice, I have to work. I have to be able to pay the bills and eat. But the main part of it is, is that I'm tired of being the only one in the house hold that's actually responsible. I'm the only one of the three total people in the house that pays bills and buys food. Oh and I'm also again the youngest. 27 year old taking care of a 30 and a 38 year old, who both have full time jobs like me, but **** off bills that keep a roof over their head because they're idiotic selfish human beings.

Mostly I'm just tired of being taken advantage of. I know that I'm too nice and that I do a lot for people. But I do actually like to help people. Like if I give you gas money for taking me somewhere, Don't buy cigarettes with it. That's shitty.

I'm also really scared that I'm going to be alone. And I'm depressed that I'm alone. Because since the surgery I feel pretty good, and a lot more confident at that, but as soon as someone finds out that I have a medical Implant, they're like "**** this dude" god forbid they find out what it's for. I just want the opportunity to be able to spend my life with someone who I can actually believe that they have feelings for me. That would be pretty awesome.

I'm tired that my folks are up my *** about everything I do because they're so right winged republican that it makes my head hurt. Yes mom, I smoke weed. It's pretty cool, it makes my mind slow down and it makes my leg not hurt. Also gives me a pretty descent appetite when I'm in to much pain to eat. I know that I'm asking for it if I'm the one that told them, but they're still dumb, but of course, I still love them.

And I'm tired of being tired all the time. which is one thing that I can do something about here pretty soon.

Good night all and thanks for listening to me *****!

hi mr. lonely

yup
izzzzzzzzzzz concur
and although my status sucks lemons
when i get ****** off enough
i get the job at hand done
something that would take five minutes before i got ill
now might take twenty minutes or a half hour
and at these times i at my worst in all important
might i ask how old are you
ever married
i too wonder if ill be alone when this cookies time comes
wishing you a better way of thinking about such things
it sucks
life isn't fair
however Jesus Christ i ask to carry me
carry my family
the little precious baby
the baby
it will be amazing
a new fresh beginning
keep the Faith
will pray
Amen

Dave on my mind throughout the day

Dear friend

you have managed to sum it up with two letters

somewhere yesterday

somewhere on the forum

in caps

the word

"DO"

the inability to just do
know your word with a few other
writers
the sermon ended with
you may have been hurt by your
parents
loved onessssssss
friends
church
my illnesses
my childhood
i want to have and live with
no more excuses
not to wait and get angry only to hurt myself even more

it is all about not being able to just

do

you take care
i'm not standing at the edge of my cliff
thank you
in Jesus name
me

If I have served some small purpose to anyone here, especially someone as Special as you - Then my life has meaning again.

Dave.

You bring the best to this place. Giving.

That is what it is about.

Then folks who are hurting feel embraced.

Yes,

M56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark56 (Post 1124690)

You bring the best to this place. Giving.

That is what it is about.

Then folks who are hurting feel embraced.

Yes,

M56

You got it
AMEN!