Amen to that Johanna!
 

Prayers and keystrokes, prayers and keystrokes.....

Surrounding.......

Lifting up......

Amen, :smileypray: :hug: :grouphug:

I made from a line of addicts to be a recovering way is now 23
years and then becoming ill with this body riddled with the
PAIN I now suffer with is a real bummer as I feel I have been
robbed of that sobriety time being on these Meds
It is beyond that now my babies are suffering one way or
another and I can't do anything about it so keep moving
forward and holding on to the Lords Prayer and call upon
the Angels

Someone who cares and cries deeply

call to check up
 

as i type she is talking to my daughter
who says she needs to be pampered
spoken gentle to
i am mom
she knows when i am angry
this family is doing what they can including
taking in some furniture
while she goes into another program
does that make it okay to pick up if you miss Eva
as you say you do
you want a program that brings you two together
all i want is mom and daughter together
how dare she
i expressed i needed to do to get myself together
as things could have been like my daughter
and maybe just maybe because it is mandatory
you get high (because you miss the baby)
when the computer went i was gifted with an iPod
not a phone but it allows me to do live talk it's called
facetime telling her after she stole my medicine from me
i cannot allow her into my home (okay i get it) and today
she still in her high reminded you may facetime anytime
you want see the baby
but to consciously say i need pampering
i responded i always have your back
but the baby needs pampering
i MUST stop enabling you with everything in my being
it HURTS SO BADLY but i did it voluntarily "sobriety is
worth the hurt" and trust me it Hurts this much i know
as mush as in Jesus i TRUST
Amen!

pray she gets it

someone who cares

It is my body
 

everyone else knows better

they don't

well versed for sure

I live in it


Someone who cares

What pain does to someone who ardors
 

Dear Lord
My same ill feeling when your
child sees what pain does to those
we love
MessyMark said what I feel for my daughter
and although things are just exactly the way
it is supposed to be I am not afraid as I trust my
Lord JESUS is carrying us and provides
Love in replacing a monster
If i morph let it be in the eyes
of child

MY GRANDCHILD FILLED WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

INNOCENT HONESTY
BEAUTIFULLY BRUTAL

someone who cares

So today has been a rough one the Gaba is not helping much or the hydrocodon either of flexeril.
It seems as though nothing is working the pain has been in lower back and down both legs today hurting like a S.O.B along with muscle spasms. I have pushed through it all day worked on Jade's (my littlest girl 6yr old) bike today fixed two flats for her and raised the seat also (she's getting so tall). Cooked dinner for us.Made blackened grilled chicken salad. Chicken cooked in (homemade) garlic butter sauce with cajun seasoning. Made salad from scratch non of this premixed salad mix. Bathed our largest dog also today . Accomplished a lot but have been paying for it all day knew if I stopped I would not continue with anything that needed to get done. So the day is over and now is the time to pay the pied piper .:(

dear Messymark
when i read you experiences strength and hope
i cannot help but see myself in the mirror when i read
it is almost scary
i commend you jobs well done
each chore was something that once was simple
i miss my dog
i gave him his baths
anyhow just getting the chores for
taking care of your little girl
kudos to you, hats off, bravo
this to me is a sign in some way
love her hold her squeeze her never let her go....
you are daddy the first man she falls in love with
i wish you a joyful life may she bring you belly laughs
so happy for you and sharing


someone who cares

picture is totally beautiful

someone who cares

Thank you for the comments on my Photography I have a blog where I post a lot of my photos just type in messymark.com and you will be taken to my page. again thank you. Also she is our world.

Our children are the future
 

Dear friends
Make no mistake
any and all of my writing
is truth to the core
when Messy wrote of who
WE LOVE MOST sometimes
sees that MONSTER unfold
when I miss my Meds or
something happens like last
week end missed four days of
Meds and put myself through
ACCIDENTAL WITHDRAWAL ZAP
just like that because of me
Point pain and withdrawals not
NOT SO NOT pretty
My angel Corissa who has been
nothing but my ANGEL
who deserves nothing but the best
in everything she experiences
I have to show her how we move
on and make it to the next
DAY
as I BELEIVE in miricles
it happens everyday
I love being a mother and grandma
Blessed I am to have had four babies
Blessed I am

Someone who cares

trusting no one
 

into this world
we are up against
an awful beastly bullies
who take a title and misuse it
in the name of having it her way
and because i was relentless
about the truth of the matter
this not many will venture
there are persons of some agency
most state jobs have outrageous
thievery just plain old brutality
this is the state of N.J.
division of motor vehicle
found to be guilty of bribes
for identity
in the county fraudulent birth certificates
were given as bribery grows this as far back as 1960'S
well i'm not one to be reckoning with
if you knowingly were deceitful
these (many choice words) were going to use
deem mentally incapable of watching her
just not the case
my kindness was taken for stupid
oh was she cunning
oh how she wanted to know went down
all i said was
i was lied to
how it is clear that this was premeditated
and Carla still came to the house never telling me they were going to take the baby from me
she will not be allowed to manipulate the truth
i now will have my Dr. to write a letter with the facts
and

bring it the bleep on[/LIST]
someone who cares

awaiting my doctors call
 

dear friends
those concerned
majority of this all
that involves
not the issue at hand
the place to stay till
mommy completes her
what is called here
"the black out period 28 days"
there after baby with mommy
i have issues alright
the mass destruction of family
to disrupt a family
that is trying to help each other
for the sake of Eva
i head of this family
shall remain in her stance
all in the name of
truth and justice
i will keep the Faith and
Truth alive!

may all those involved even in the
slightest way
may you be punished for
being the cause of a happy
family with this child 1st in mind
try and tare us apart

phone

my psychotherapist
well just as i suspected
my Dr. did not utter anything
to DYFS THAT I WAS INCOMPETENT
MENTALLY

THERE YOU GO

READY TO BE VICTIMIZED YET AGAIN
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS
SO GOD HELP ME IT DOESN'T STOP
I JUST NEED TO CC MANY ON THE TOTEM POLE
IT STARTED SOMEWHERE
I SMELL ROTTEN FISHES
OPERATIVE WORD
ROTTEN

enough Eva
this is a place where someone goes for help

is it because she is beautiful in all
a loving demeanor
never a problem with her
she is laying in front of me watch
me type
she is mesmerized by the smiley faces


am i the only one that sees it
i will have my day in court

all i ask for are prayers

someone who cares

punishment
 

i hope for a trial
in my case with my neurosurgeon
i pray i learn quickly
this is all new to me
but i pray i can have a trial
so the persons will be able to hear
and see the injustice
allow me the opportunity to make a difference
including all them persons
that are addicts because it be
a lucrative business
and i speak of the reps coming in
while patients are waiting to be seen
but because they bought lunch for the office
it is all a ploy in the name of $$$$$

FROM BEGINNING TO END
PERIOD!

I GOD I TRUST
AMEN!

perfect example how $$$$$ louder than the ...
 

CRAP AS i am too exhausted at the capabilities of the energy this agency
puts into screwing up a family i believe because "I""WHO IS HER PROTECTOR"
I AM HER MIMMA
I AM IN LOVE WITH HER
WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE
HER BEST INTEREST
BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE
what were you to gain
Carla,
The caseworker, someone who is to help
not harm as SHE IS DOING
this being was ready to go
THAT EXTRA MILE I MUST
FOR MY GRANDDAUGHTER
THAT BEING SAID
WE ARE GOING TO DO ALL WE MUST
I WANT THE TRUTH

SOMEONE WHO I GUESS WILL BE PUNISHED
help me Jesus
God you are the boss
i want to feel the strength
empowered to do good

God, Jesus
Mother Mary
be with me always


someone lied and truth will come out
this i will be certain

i believe
Amen!

May all be WELL
and may ALL who transgress
pay the price.......for their agenda mongering.
Amen? :hug:

Absolutely
I will embrace
In Jesus name
my Faith
that all be punished
be demoted
retrain so
No making up the rules
as you move along
I am sure of protocol
I asked
Why no guide as how to
or and guide
answer
it is my lawyers responsibility

So I say
I had no indication I would have needed one
as I had no clue I was the target hence the bomb
Lynette is my public defense lawyer took a while to return
my messages
Anther M. said he was handing it over to her and also said
he trained her

So holding on trying to absorb

Someone who cares

Oh my oh my oh my
 

How can I say anything more than am prayin this well be resolved well for the family. :hug:

i don't know
someone tell me please
please tell me i'm not
over reacting
i open myself up
no this is me
the person who has learned
i have learned
i wouldn't say who
but for the person
says
to me
"you do not want to tell them everything"
this be someone who is involved
i will certainly not have been
able to have cared for her
as i wouldn't have been able to
care for her including holding her
i ask you this child has been
the happiest demeanor
all that encounter this child are
pleasantly surprised at how she
entertains herself
with her legos
i have been tugged this
way and that way
with limitations
for i am not of any kind of money
i have been in a predominantly no
luxury of affording a lawyer was
never in my cards
oh friends
make no mistake i had
several chances to marry into
that
but because i am true to myself
morally
not to mention
i have never had the
opportunity to Love
i had a job to do
and i promised myself
i would never marry for
if there is no love
i need to feel a spark
in my tummy
all the opportunity with all the men
i served them breakfast and dinner too
then there was the time i was doing three
duties in a day as my children were older
around 14ish and down
waitressed full time cleaned and baby
sat rich wanna be in the Bergen County section
and night school acquired two medical certificates
yeah it seems as if i
were witchin
but i'm not
if my children ever tried "i can't do it"
i have a speech for them
well just got word caseworker
contacted my daughter
and said
she this time was unable to
provide a ride for us
no biggy it will cost a fortune
to park i have extra eyes in the
car we will be fine it is about a 20 min.
on the side streets
just called psychotherapist
left a message for him to fax
letter for my public defender
oh jeez i hope i have all my ducks in a row
just in case they should deny me temporary
i called my maternal parent if she would
take care of her

you know my ability to be a chef in my own home
has been ripped from me in an instant my 2nd
operation sealed that permanently


i am in a fog

no paperwork on the accusation to date
so this public defender was short and rushed me
off the phone

i have represented myself on many occasions
at one time the city trying to get me fired
my rebuttal letter was so well put together
this with the help of my daughter
went as is to my boss "the Mayor"who still holds seat

we'll be in the path of JESUS CHRIST as i will be
protected
in Jesus name
i eva BELIEVE

someone who cares
AMEN!
AMEN!
AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!

Hugz
 

Come on mimma
 

i so thank you as my hugs must be
GENTLE
and how do you say that too your
grandbaby when she runs into my arms
when she says come on mimma
OR WHEN I GIVE HER A BATH
OR CHANGE HER ALL DONE AS I SIT
ON THE FLOOR
she'll get up wrap her arms around my neck
squeeze me and say
"I LOVE YOU MIMMA"

THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY!

a tornado to you
 

When I was going through an incredibly awful time with a close family member's severe illness and disbelieving/unhelpful/hurtful legal system, a friend and fellow church member told me this. I know no one's situation is ever the same but I hope it can give you a measure of the comfort it gave me:

When my church family was asked to pray for our family in the "silent" prayers said in service one Sunday, my friend told us she felt as though all the prayers being said there and all the prayers that had been and would be said were gathering into a small tornado and that tornado was branching off and surrounding each member of our family and each of us who hurt, making a sort of "fierce cocoon of God's love" that not only held us tightly but also protected us, even though we could not see that protection and had many times of doubt. Every time things got so awful that the sadness/frustration/anger/pain/fatigue etc. seemed to well up, I would think of that cocoon of prayers and love that all those who cared about me (God included) had surrounded me with and how it was with me always to hold me up and be there to lean on. Sometimes the focus on the knowledge of all that love was only able to make things a tiny bit better, but it always seemed that even that tiny bit gave me the strength and hope I needed. I see all the love and prayers that your fellow members are pouring out for you and I hope that my story might help magnify and make that love last longer for you. And even though I'm new, I hope that you will accept one more prayer, offered with love and hoping you will have a chance to feel the tornado around you!

God is awesome
 

judge also
God is great!:hug:lots of:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphu g::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphu g::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::


someone that cares

Profound HUGZ
 

Yup, :grouphug:

I just want to let you know
I understand your message
I had to come back and read
this as I will replace the havoc
with the outpouring of concern
and a very empowering view
THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHT

someone who care
GOD BLESS

just when you think......
 

i don't have to much to say
other than having to
start over again
really
no kidding
dear Lord
hear our prayers
on this road i revisit

Thinking of you!
 

why wouldn't i have factored in...
 

your well wish accepted

my shrink put it into perspective
"i wake up with my surgeon and
retire to bed with him"
i do not under any circumstances
wish for such a thing
i am so happy to have found this
wondrous place a home of persons
one by one day by day here this place
a place i was welcomed into as
a beginner
thank you

would someone shut the FRONT door

how is this to be almost identical
to my experience
now on my left side ache
a dull gnawing
oh my God not the left
and its not going away
this pinching in my neck
i am certain all of us
experience as if your
most sensitive and hurtful
i refer to it as a sweet spot
kind of pain magnified to
almost black out pain

I AM TOTALLY PERPLEXED
WHAT THE FRUIT IS
GOING ON

i can point to my pain
in my left shoulder
all this is replay
LORD I ASK YOU
PLEASE EXCUSE MY
BEHAVIOR
if that is what is the problem
being honest a life choice
rarely chosen
for now this is enough
said

sick and tired
 

raised 4 children
last like an only child
when am i going to stop
being a doormat
took the phone away
jeez
you have got to be kidding me
i am so overdone
my brain it's done
it'll just chill
i going to try and go to sleep
tired i am
lord hear our prayers

sick its not me
 

the little strength i have left
my adult children suck out of me
i REFUSE TO BE A DOORMAT
WIPING THEIR GRIMY
FEET IN MY HOME
GET THE PICTURE
my daughter who i give and give
my help as she oh no wait i have two more
adult children i just dote over
had to use my plastic card to get her 5 bras
as her husband isn't beneath any kind of work
high school sweethearts yet mom is buying her bras
that can fit her properly as her back and shoulders hurt
triple D
then i like a donkeys *** give her and him
600 bucks from a loan i took out
to pay for her storage

then i have my son who till yet to make
any payment sept 50 bucks oct 50 bucks
he owes me over 5000 bucks 3000 loan and
2000 for his leather couch on my card that i just paid off

and this selfish child that is mommy to my granddaughter
has no control as she picked up again and again and again
i have custody what will she do
how much more pain does there have to be
i vowed 2014 i'm not taking anymore turd from anyone
not even my children

i have a fifteen year old who needs me and i will
be here for Eva also
after a terrible argument she hounded her mother
to allow her to say goodnight to me
i mean really

it is my time to get my house in order
then tackle my apartment as it is far from being done

once again all that has happened this passed
four or five days is call all on their turd i am not responsible
for
and i need my monies back
i am going to a slew of doctors that will need co-pays
a car that won't last much longer
dressing my adult girls as they can't do for themselves
i have a heart that gets torn to pieces each and every time
struggle for food is the last of the worse
this is not suppose to happen

oh my Father you know i do not enable my children
i just trusted them to be truthful to me

it's a horrible feeling if you feel your children do not like you as a person
and that is exactly how i feel
no if an or butts

i am by far a stupid woman
just a mother looking out for her birds
they haven't got the hang of flying down yet

i will not have any disrespect in my home
as there are rules to abide to

what is it with this fast electronic world i
am not lost in it as they are but i am learning
not to take the bull turd any more
i have 10 doctors to see
i will be getting to them alone

my grandchild and Corissa need me
and i intend to be there for them

Jesus my brother carry me my knees are
week my body aches for a couple of days
with all i have done

nobody but my savior do i trust to guide
me
i await your instructions

thank you Father
brother
mother Mary

i believe
i trust
thy will be done

all had their say
 

i am so surprised to learn of my children true opinion
they all are selfish brats with what i had to teach them
makes me sick to my stomach
no excuses
as i said in the past
is my experience
people have problems with the truth
i have accepted their wanting out of my life
never to hear their excuses
never going to fly with
my own parent who birthed me
seems to have a problem as i answer it's me
i don't have it in me to call her mom
as she confessed what bothered her
so i said if that's what you want to hear i can do that
then she says not if it doesn't come from the heart
i say thank you for understanding like 3 times
oh i cleaned up an awful lot today
and for that my daughter assaults me
you read right she was arrested
i have her belongings together
my son did not like me asking for the monies back
not to mention his beautiful remark like
i am white trash
as i called him on the political corruption going
on in the republican party and the low life trash
people NYC police and firemen claiming all false info about there well being as the collect from 911
these are trash persons
how dare my son
how dare my oldest
how dare Christine bite the one who is on her side
as i ***** and moan all the belongings little Eva has destroyed
including mom
because mommy is occupied on the phone
or text not read to her or get on the floor with her
and play legos or tea party
ENOUGH
I WILL SURVIVE
THIS IS WHAT I AM USED TO SINCE A LITTLE GIRL
did not raise my children like trash
before my life changed my routine on Sunday was have the most four hours of ironing always sending my kids to school neat and clean
BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I AM WHITE TRASH
TODAY IS TWO YEARS MY BREAST WERE TAKEN THIS TOO
HURTS
BUT I CALLED ON IT
NO MORE TAKING TAKING TAKING TAKING
AND THIS IDIOT GIVES GIVES
I AM BURNED ENOUGH TIMES IN MY MEANINGLESS LIFE
WHAT GOOD IS IT WHEN YOU CHILDREN DO NOT EVEN LIKE YOU
CORISSA WAS VERY HURT WHAT HER BROTHER SAID
AND SHE IS HERE TO KNOW THE TRUTH OF ALL OF IT HOW THE F DO THEY THINK THEY ARE DEALING WITH
THEIR MOM LIKE THIS
NOT HAVING IT
NOT
IT WAS UGLY UGLY UGLY
SO IN THE END NEVER MADE IT TO THE HOSPITAL
FOR PICTURES OF CERVICAL AND LUMBAR W/AND WITHOUT CONTRAST
MY MAMMO IN THE SAME HOSPITAL
MY BLOOD WORK
NO MY DAUGHTER NEEDED TO BE FRESH WITH HER MOUTH
I WARNED HER KNOCK IT OFF OR YOU WILL NOT BE RETURNING HOME WITH ME AND THE BABY
SHE SAT HER BUTT ON MY COUCH AN SAID I AM NOT MOVING
I SAID MOVE AND THAT WAS IT

I AM TIRED HOPE NOT TO THINK
my knees are killing me
in addition to all the other crap

sent my surgeon the bone simulator back in it i put the best picture of my hematoma on top wrapped it in Christmas paper
and sent it certified
to be a fly on the wall
good night
thanks for letting me share
baby is doing good
as Corissa is also

Unfortunately too many parents give and give hoping for thanks and love in return. All too often, when their children become adults they have not learned to be responsible for themselves. Very sad and heartbreaking.


Gerry

I am not done
 

when
i should have sent them on their way the moment they graduated high school
how
i would have offered a year to do whatever they needed to start living life as they wish
why
at a young age i taught them well about taking care of themselves example taken them to the dentist eye dr
physical exam did my job
could have not even done the basics
i just believe in preventive health care
who
all of it done alone
as well enough about their he was a pip himself
i was it took i seriously and raised them alone
they did not ask to be born
what
nothing left but me watching Eva a mom is not clean
after yesterday Christine getting physical with me
you know my pains are through the roof
my appointments all rescheduled
she want to come home
oh brother guide me

I was/am fortunate. Even tho my father had left when I was only eleven, I had learned from my mother, when I graduated school and lived at home, to give a portion of my earnings to cover expenses incurred living at home. My mother had taught me responsibility even tho my dad did not contribute as he should have. Her lessons helped me when I was raising my children.

Neither I, nor my children asked to be born either. Being the "brat" I was at times; had even voiced this to my mother saying "I wished I had never been born". But be that as it may......life is not our own choice.

Oh;...I still remember one of my mother's sayings....."The first 100 years are the hardest".

She had many; the funniest was ..."If I knew I was going to fall, I would have sat down first".


Gerry

thank you Gerry i needed that
your input valued
friend

I like that one
 

Believing I would rather sit than fall, I will take initiative and let myself down easily.

Huh,

It works,

Love to all :grouphug:

this i apologize all that need censored
 

"Oliver
1/8, 6:50pm
Oliver
i am so glad since an early age knew to seek help on my own help as nobody is a adult until at least 24 or 25 no matter how much responsibility that was layed upon you as your sympathetic necessities that you were un able to be responsible for because your husband could not get off his lazy *** let alone your lazy *** be lucky that i wasn't like my mother completely and woke yous up on a night like today on a weekend morning all windows opened and get up and start cleaning but no your husband that you choose and are i hope happy with because as i wrote to my friends how pathetic it is that i need to buy bras for my daughter at the age of 32 let alone take the last of my savings 600 dollars from my life insurance to pay for her precious belongings in storage because hubby nor my daughter payed for the storage i intrusted her with the family pet only to see my dog subjected to roaches and mice confined in a room forced to eat food that is not meant for him as he as a pup ate the best dry food i could get him and she has the audasity to tell me that her husband failed to keep his vows and how nice it is that you can lean on your mother as you still do STOCKHOLM SYNDROM?!? funny how i had to be there for both my adult daughter thru all of her surgeries used all my days that are given to me fom my job and use them for my children simotsniously a daughter that needed kidney surgery so a good 15 years of my life was dedicated to being there to a child that is not a adult to a child that was and whos boyfriend could not keep a roof over her head forcing them now to probably live the next 5 years before he could start life on a financial level and were all my adult children bleed me dry and have now a granddaughter who i am responsible for because her mother chooses not to go to a meeting get under my roof beyond disrespectful is the least i could say you on the other hand may think you pick up the phone you may think that i know you love me you may think that you pick up the phone you may think i am not here why oh why could you not have closed your bridges up and left or better yet go to the man who had visitation rights oh someone please tell me where he ever took action with the courts to enforce and fight to see you children where do you think you crossed the line i can tell you exactly when but im not gonna let you know what it was i will if i have to do what i have to without having a child who has the time to reciprocate pay it forward if you will know it dosent feel good to know your children do not like the person she is the truth is im done being the glue that corissa refers to as keeping the family together you all need to take a good long look in the mirror aand take look at who you really are regardless your mother
Oliver
1/8, 7:10pm
Oliver
in addition i gotta son who fails to give me back my money he owes me i gotta pull it from him not the way i gave it to him used my card to buy himself a couch adn then told me to go **** my self yeah thats right this stupid mother who dosent give a **** but yeah my baby boy not a gift not a present something that he asked for something that i loaned him the use of my plastic card so he can sit his *** on it along with his little friends was he responsible did he pay me back as promised no i got go **** yourself a mother who still waits for that moment her son know what is like to live on his own and a daughter who breaks her promise who fails to remember who helped push her into the life of writing you all are selfish and make me sick i have a grandchild who loves me to death that if it wasnt for the consistency and me having custody of her she wouldnt have a place she knows her grandmother loves her very very much i will not see or associate myself with lies i due wait for my money not in bits and peices stop hanging on mommies finances you selfish selfish pigs pigs are given food in a neater fashion then you give oliver his food oh how i feel sorry for him this is a indication of her selfishness shame on her
SaraEve
1/8, 7:16pm
SaraEve
guess what? that's all called being a MOM.
if you didn't want to do it, you could have been a MOTHER, like Nana, or given us up for adoption, or shipped us off to our father.
Today
Oliver
9:22am
Oliver
you the sneaky one
you are the pick of the litter
why oh why does you grandmother calling me about the monies $500.00 to be exact
and why did you ask me to pay for your storage as it was ready to be auctioned off
a mother who has to buy her daughter clothes as her "husband" lay around waiting for work
someone who is living with mother and father in law with my dog who has not seen a doctor yet for you both are so selfish you don't im sorry won't by him food or has no litter to void
you selfish little turd
know that you did bring it up
if i could do it all over again
hell no
it should have always been about me
please do not fret
i do not know you from your brother to you bitches about the future not much
**** you and the ***** that came in after you
please could one of you show shred of
anything that would have gone to court and enforce his rights to have you
oh what a relief it would have been
you ma think you are sitting pretty
i am ashamed of you all
i lived most my life picking up after slobs
let alone coming home from work at 6:00 in the morning to a sink full of **** between you an your boy
that you did anything for yourself Eva
unheard of you brats needed my attention
pay your grandmother back
im sick and tired of cleaning up your after you and your brothers ********
as for you and children your right everything for a reason
you my dear cannot even take care of a 10 lb. dog maybe 8 lbs now
as you proclaim your **** i might as well jump in
remember you never had brain surgery or
went to college
oh how things would have been different
if he only took you all
but he chose not to
please let me see anything that says he did not have rights
you selfish little girl
i just needed to buy you bras
bras
bras
underware
underware
unheard of of a almost 33 year old maid
as you always said your boy wont be going any where soon as you both can't put two pennies together
i only took out 600 for my policy
right becsause you came crying how everything will be gone
like i said you grandmother called saying how not even a phone call to her yet
after taking her money also and taking you poor little shits out after you pathetic
wedding !
take a good look in the mirror as i told your brother both of you talking behind my back as you sister christine called you both on your ****
michs
michael puts himself in the hospital when in at turmoil he puts himself into the hospital and leaves all his **** behind for someone else to pick up his ****
the **** heads that you really are
as i told your brother
both of you yet have no clue what its like living on you own and not mooching off of whoever you can
oh i didn't give you a hundred dollars when you went to Boston
as your boy had no way of doing it
i didn't do that now shame on you eva
keep up the lousy job
maybe just maybe you might get it
like i said your grandmother is bitching how you borrowed i say took as she says she hasn't heard from you since
and the rest
you owe me
along with others
shame on you
shame on you
gave you monies for your meds
stole money from me
zero for my meds between you and michael shame on all of you
as for me i'll **** off for now"


this is how dirty it gets
this is the real stuff
only in anger do they express
themselves
as much left in between
Christ Jesus
punish me if i was anything
like my mother to my children
why oh why do i need to hear
from her now and tell me her woes
how my children called upon her for monies
to bail them out
then bleed me dry
i never owed anyone anything all my life
ever
have always been there for my family
including outside my children sisters mother
not one time did i refuse them
if i am that terrible terrible person to
them as my grandchild comes to me to
play tea party
or build a pool or castle till i cannot move
as my being seizes stiffens
strike me down if i lie
i never knew the truth
suspected
only where is it that the dads father whatever you
want to refer to them as by name
you can surely be certain i exhausted them all
the one thing greatly appreciate
"THE TRUTH"
you may wonder how can you speak of them like such
all fouled is anger driven
but the truth is out
it hurts
but it is the truth

and all over again
 

if it weren't for my sister to be the one to say
there is a third person
on with us
yeah
my daughter
has no place to sleep
can she come"here" to sleep
in the morning my youngest daughter
see's her take my keys
as i was on the phone with my sister
she says she told her sister give back the keys
as she fumbled with them
she gave it to her sister
her sister says give me the mailbox keys
my daughter stole my keys for my mailbox
the cops here to escort her
Eva sleeping has seen enough
not to mention be mean to her sister
Corissa
then the butt of a father calls telling me how to
do things
i told him my the judge made the decision she be in
my care and the mother no longer stay with me
well there were times she would purposely fall asleep
i was okay with as it long as she did not
cause any problems
sad to sat he is not priority Eva and Corissa
and crossed the line when he began swearing
and the cursing
bingo done
hung up the phone
then left a message that if i should give him
any problems

i have put my all in helping
i hope they will not take her
and place her in any foster care
my mother would jump in
so she told me as they say

SHE STOLE MY KEYS
LIE AND ROB YOU MOTHER
MY FAULT
STILL TOOK ON THE JOB
WHETHER THEY LEFT OR NOT

she is having a blast no
 

pun intended and i reached my threshold


Eva and Corissa are doing great
she napped and woke so happy
mom on the other hand stole from me
and her sister
turned physical as i heard something thrown
then stopped
Corissa was being picked on by her
her period is due
not a way to live
sister will stop by
evas father hasn't called
i'm getting ready for bed soon
we'll see

Hugz!!
 

And
 

MORE HUGZ!!!!!

Along with Prayerz and Love

:hug: