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understanding
to those that understand
the the pain and joy children bring i we all are creation from the ALMIGHTY our SPIRITUAL DNA is from our ALMIGHTY may i be the starting force to make my children understand thank you for you kindness |
Eva,
Unfortunately, it is a difficult task to make them understand; especially once they have become adults. Corissa is a work in progress. Maybe easing up on the negatives might help. Prayers are with you; especially during this heartbreaking time. Gerry |
as she is witness to all
she certainly has been so open with me the negativity is there not by my choice as ii was promised my monies in return on a promised date i am for once never forgetting we are not in a position to wait for things to happen unfortunately i do not have the physical capabilities to move but if i must i will make the best of what is left my baby girl Corissa hold on as she holds me she has found her place and is much happier thank you for your care and insight with much in my heart for you eva |
Corissa will make you proud. She is a very caring young lady. You are passing on this quality to her beautifully. As difficult as it may be, in spite of your pain, hopefully she will see there are happy times as well.
Gerry |
needed to reschedule my appointment
a horrible night for sure
my arms knees feet hands back neck head unable to void #2 without help the nausea has got me today i need to refill meds Corissa stays home today as i have no clue what to expect as anything goes with Christine or anyone else for that matter she too feels badly we will try and feel better thank you for the concerns eva |
helping and gone
well my daughter allowed
my policy to lapse and now terminated it was for them as it only works after i DIE this from my eldest to be clear upon death christine being difficult now telling me she won't give me my key back till wednesday she just hung up on me |
For You
Praying.
This invokes a power far greater than mine. :hug: |
i hoped i did not hear...
dad calls to speak with Eva
Sunday daddy had changed plans and could not pick up Eva so he is talking to me and Christine calling when she sleeps etc. the next thing i hear i'll give custody to you i want her with you i was stunned pretended i did not hear him and continued to say kindly remind her of the key he said tomorrow evening hanging on till then what do ya think a good night sleep have such a horrible throb in knees and hip it wakes me up my app. changed we will see how to just throw it out like that? |
and my doctor says.....
poor fella had not much to say
mother call to talk to baby my son writes me a prospect buyer for car wants yes or no answer then as i get my message to him about break line has a temporary fix all else hasn't gone yet and like i wrote my mechanic was being kind and telling me time to let it go less than 70,000 original is only needed for 6 months told him book is $2,500.00 that is what i said he says this person has taxes are here and can only give me $1,000.00 down and rest in installments person has no problem signing an agreement if i like the installments should i do it or am i nuts i will save for a smaller version with a loan from only parent i never in my life owed anything too but the truth of the matter i need something that could be reliable this i have yet to still call my mechanic what would you do at the end he types love i'm like to myself is he nuts i hesitated he types again Love You he will get to me on his break |
Christine
Father watch over my children
same hospital i was at today calling me in her puppy voice no call from my son eldest one either knowing the baby needs their connection but life moves on for them still with no return of any returns of my monies my brief talk with Christine you are not taking care of business like meetings or work letting her sugar flux to many times an not have her meds for her diabetes speak of the wise child of mine they are keeping her to check if she suffered a stroke they will do a MRI of her brain a localized area so she was told asked me to kiss my granddaughter and tell her "I love her" told her she is always told that she will call in the morning i also told her was she completely honest including the way she eats we shall see i can only pray lord angels dad watch over her amen |
sleep
Father
Brother Mother Mary Sweet Mother thank you for your son whoever people believe or not Warren Batty sis Sherle Mclane believes in her heart and believes in beings ions so advanced are our makers i will go this far in her assessment Jesus did walk this earth was crucified ascended into heaven to sit at the right hand of our father maybe this be her belief she has a belief of a Higher Power our ancestors lol the idea of your motherly Love must have shown off your face every suckle at your breast nurturing him showing her angelic face of unconditional LOVE the kind of love we all as children should have felt Joseph fathering showing him how to have fun as a little boy Sweet Mother Mary IN AWE the woman their input as wife mother to OUR blessed brother to be on your knees using rocks as wash board i have had many times would have been a time i would have liked to be around for i thank you for that Sleep i slept all night through woke at the time Corissa kissed me see you later mom recognized immediately that my knee left was not in pain cortisone shot took it like the good patient meylogram and the discogram two test i will never forget the pain as my head needed to be beheaded nothing compared to natural childbirth having four children take it from some one who knows i am a good patient Sleep how refreshing don't want to forget my thanks blessing i had help for the first time i recognize i do not have the strength as i did having my last child induced she was comfy in mommy went 42 weeks with Corissa after 15 years how my body iis failing me i had abundance of breast milk for all my babies Corissa would drink so quickly milk would come from her nose i had to sit up for about 3 minuets for many 30 months is not looked upon as a good thing i was so happy to talk to the mammo tech having her 1st child i hope i left her thinking i asked before just rambling on i do have manners at times i rambling on here for the most part it was a difficult job getting help was at an 8 most time fasting for blood work i was hurting i would not have been able to do what i thought i could here i will close and say thank you for birthing OUR brother who sit at the right hand of our Father Amen! blessed i am bless my children with common sense angels protect them AMEN! |
Oh what a fool I am
Money the root of all evil
My eldest TRULEY surprised me it was to have been a written agreement Now I was told this evening I can take them to court A I let Sara buy her computer with a 1,3500 balance and the 600.00 for her storage And now I can take them to court It's my own fault policy expired Too late All for what And they were not raised with what I have taught them silly thing is it will hurt Out of sight out of mind |
Eva,
So sorry you are having to deal with all of this. Sometimes, I think "plastic" is too often the root of all evil. Love & Prayers, Gerry |
Praying on this
Yup. I am.
Being taken advantage by anyone, let alone your own children is incredibly hard. I am concerned for you and the endurance through this hard time, Eva. May you have strength, the ability to pay it away AGAIN, and then Double Strength to remember in a "tough love way" that word NO should requests come again to GIVE money You Do Not Have. There is a limit, you know? And that limit is not the limit on your charge card. It is the limit by which you may be taken advantage. Be strong. Love and hugs, :hug: :grouphug: |
you just never know
because of her diabetes
her weight turns out the heart med that were given to her for the diabetes and not have the medicine to take her heart has gotten dependent on it she is feeling numbness thumb pointer and middle were the sign of heart conclusion she is a candidate to suffer a stroke if she does not take care of herself and how sorry she is she really understands as in the last 3 days she knew something was not right only if you really pay attention i am off of the med one of my doctors had me on Lexapro took me to very dark places i do need to get to a cardiologist and the induced stress test was the last cardiologist as per clearance i left the cardiologist due to staff he was the one to put me on blood pressure meds and anxiety med xanx then surgery hell i sure am an induced addict as my body troubles are happening quickly who do i trust myself i do need my pressure meds especially now but to be so in tune with my body i taught my children well may they not incur any more physically ill my eldest epileptic my boy bi-polar, just diagnosis atrial fibrillation my third child diabetic and now a candidate for a stroke my last child kidney surgery age 1 year old known since 3 1/2 months and lastly mom who is still rock of this family spare Eva my granddaughter let there be healthy choices and have healthy life meds can be helpful in one area and harming some other organ operative word here can but always heed to the warnings a lesson indeed |
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to date my fico score is surprisingly great 3 reports also good to excellent not that plastic is the way to go i mange to meet my obligation my policy i take loans on is the hardship as all given by the GUILTY competently my fault i will own up to that i will be responsible for my own emotional status having many who care and understand it is something i must not let happen anymore to have projects in my home that will take much of my time and TLC having a nice zen feel all who come feel good it is the best i can do for myself i enjoy decorating i know how to shop and save but to say NO i also understand NO has to mean NO i must follow through you input taken as Gerry is also having some similar situations and all others of keeping me lifted when needed most |
and their on the way
my daughter is misbehaving
not taking care of herself does not realize how she could not be here possibly if she keeps eating anything she wants i have to back off i have to back down i have to take care of me as i am the rock that all keep coming to build me up sweet Jesus make me strong as they check up on Eva and court on Monday to much it's just to much |
it isn't the innocent that's nuts
to many corrupted persons evil doers money money root of all evil idiots allowed to become doctors now we will see how insurance companies will behave with all the changes sadly i do NOT trust anyone to many screw up in my case and after care the most important part after any surgery is the most important part of getting better tending to our helpless needs having to go to the bathroom checking if everything is kosher like my hematoma something that would have been a visual to my after care nurses no one bothered to look at the back of my neck but i would hear as they checked the drain as it was empty nada nothing only when doc comes strolling in and sees clearly the lump of spinal fluid that collected on the site of incision drained me several times released me only for it to swell i was balling crying of excruciating PAIN MONSTER PAIN called told him i took pictures asked why did i do that had me come to the hospital er he drained and drain and drained and drained it was incredibly unbelievably stupid of him to think i am a idiot and here i am maimed from a doctor who took an oath and the aftercare nurses the same and i am here maimed may his hands not work to do this to anyone ANYMORE ANYMORE |
wow
just read what i wrote
in the end it should have read may the hands not work the wrong way as in my case my drain was put in by him it failed to do the job apologies that just did come out as i know none was intentional a tough rough night with my neck back and my right knee kept waking up this bloody knee things are working there way down and bottom of feet on upward i a frighten at the progression my finger tips to the elbow to look at my hands and feet it is so evident to the eye no blood flow circulation is not right they are a yellowish color under the nails all white as it should be pink still have a month to see new spine doc ready for him till then it is one moment at a time i also noticed since off one of my meds that took me took me to very dark places and feeling lonely has been lifted people please pay close attention to the meds you are given to take thank you for letting me share |
another night woken
this really sucks
the throb in my knee has a heartbeat of its own doc says come in and we will do the right knee car is gone break line needs replacing something i cannot afford now loosing the little independence i had this really sucks period less pain |
monster pain
it is getting
really hurts will call doc this is without my car it sucks |
i am so angry
i am so bloody angry
i don't know where to put it i am dying it is finally happening it will be slow and painful with my luck never in a million years did i ever think what ever happened for the chance to love the thought of it sickens me my infected neck second surgery everything just progressed quickly i' dying go figure |
Oh Eva
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Hugging!!!!!
Well, and PRAYING....this news is off the scope. I do what I am capable of doing, and that is just loving and hugging and praying in hope. Hope for what? Hope. Through Hope I am able to focus on the present awful thing and take tiny steps into that unknown future. Thus, I Hope.
and.... Pray. :hug: |
today oncologist
funny thing
my sister has a friend her name is Linda was diagnosed with ductal carcinoma my fear when i found out was the upsetting and it wasn't the removal of both my breasts i was worried that because it found it's way into my blood as i know we need healthy blood feeding our body "healthy oxygenated blood" the fact is it is found upon this MRI ordered by my pain specialist who is sending me to "his guy" Chief of his group Dr. Marc Arginteanu,M.D., F.A.C.S of the METROPOLITAN NEUROSURGERY ASSOCIATES,P.A. it is just by fluke that i get report jut before my oncologist appointment oh Dear God i pray the findings are a fluke also i have many questions i need to ask my my dear friend from my surgeons office became friends called her this morning explained some things to her she will call tonight on word or reaction when he received package of hardware i used to promote bone fusion the device is called a "bone simulator" i am trying to keep my turd together until i see the doctor today at 1:30 i viewed the disc i can see the hemagioma (spelling incorrect) to tired to get paperwork and i see the three vertebrates i bet are the ones in question they look like the have been chipped away by "pac man" a little joke ha ha i asked God for a miracle it is a big one but nothing is big all i was told to do is ask when i tried to kill myself as a young teenager i ran to my box room bed and dresser with mirror closet when made that clothes hung opposite of how we do it know point eva took my Bible said to God show me closed my eyes pointer finger to point opened book it was Psalms 6 verse 6 read all of Psalm and knew there is a God a long time ago as i grew older and older i became more in tune with the signs that God the Father does show me exactly what is meant for only me as i speak in confidence only to him and i have received confirmation i am being listened to so i will be on pins and needles going to try my specialist in about an hour he ordered the test i thank everyone who understands my eagerness over the weekend needed my kids close to me will bring update and then return and explain what the oncologist has to say in Jesus i trust amen |
geez
Dear Eva,
I am gob smacked...just praying for you HB |
oncologist report
oh how happy?
lets wait till orthosurgeon sees disk and his findings said the radiologist reading and their impression is not to be worked up about that he goes by his blood work so that is what i'll do even though it says i have bone infection and bone cancer this it says Mark i will ride your train for a while if you don't mind i see the new surgeon on the 24th i am a blankly blank ****** off this is my body my life we are messing with i had enough crap happen the night i woke up to get ready for work and my life changed from that night to date i don't know what to believe anymore something is not right this is for sure and i am scared how could the radiologist make such a horrible finding or term my oncologist said lets wait for the blood work and what the doctor has to say and then in the mean time he seen the implants and said the surgeon needs to fix the left balloon it has migrated further since he seen it i told him i did that already he said they were fine i said that's what i said what the **ck can't anything go right when it comes to me turd |
Keep the Faith
:hug::hug:We all will be praying for you..Keep your heart and head on God..He knows what you can bare..:hug:
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Prayin and Prayin
You, Eva, are held up high so the stars are clearly visible to you in all ways,
and prayer bathes you in the ever present hope for brightness tomorrow and that test results will be better in outcome. Prayin mightily, M56 :hug: |
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thank you for the support and care |
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friend hope you don't mind |
Eva,
Quote:
From what you write, if I understand correctly, it seems like you were told not to get worked up about about the reading of the Radiologist because the doctor goes by the blood work for complete diagnosis. Does this mean that the doctor is unsure, at this time, you have bone cancer? Do you know when he will have the results for a diagnosis? Praying Bone Cancer is Not the diagnosis. Gerry |
Quote:
i was told by the oncologist lets wait till you go to the orthosurgeon and what he would like to do the oncologist wants to know and that's all i know he is the guy i'll let you know as soon as he hears your concern felt eva |
jeez Louise
am i ******* upset
the first time i hear from my daughter Corissa's that is and how devious in the rooms i get a call from Corissa's father "Luis", hence "Louise" REPORTED HIM TO THE IRS after asking him to lend me $1,000.00 TO MAKE THIS CAR HAPPEN after being declined where as he had no problem borrowing $4,000.00 from monies that was not mine to begin with and took him what seemed to be a promise to be paid back ASAP "because it was promised back as so" never happened it was like pulling teeth so here goes Yevette is the woman who "Louise" told i was selling my car as it cost to much to fix the brake and told her exactly how i kept it letting it go to a mother of 6 and mechanic told me time to let go so i did reluctantly and the price was doable with return and help from Eva a great meeting i go to the bathroom with her not been there since last Spring Yevette not a word that i was topic of conversation how did i find out (a week to late) Corissa i come home after walking in i tell Corissa Yevette WAS THERE it reminded Corissa her father told i know your mother reported me to the IRS now stupid i'm not honest i am and he did tell her how well i took care of her and i sold it in honest terms after all one i't not me to lie two i have a brain what could the possible heads up to him i am the moron i would think mother to guessed wrong again what could the possible motive be i am beyond myself and he couldn't lend me zero not to mention fail her but now it seems pointless unless i enforce original order with then Judge Maureen Secluzzio (spelling) any how i got to see many as far back as my seventeen years old time we shall see i called Yevette with no return to my two messages i want to know how i became topic of conversation amazing just ******* amazing told her why didn't you talk about CHILD SUPPORT not to mention BE SOME WHAT OF A FATHER told me he has people watching her my *** I've been on the phone with her counselor and vice principal he has done nothing but harm no help ever like beating a dead horse just have to wait and see done so done |
sleep
it would be such a wonderful thing
maybe have a great dream i might remember stop thinking how people of the world really are so why is there so much hate no question in my mind no return phone call from either of them jeez i would have never have done such a nasty move like that what could she have gained from it do another sister wrong he has the heads up i pray they get him and get him good do i have resentments you bet i do do i pray i not harbor these feelings now to be up against manipulation with a wad of cash laying in a pot so my child tells me would let his wife beat his children and think he did nothing it wasn't him as if it were her job to throw things is it wrong of me to to make him do the what he should to have things his way because he flashes hi ticketed items such as the phone something i take away from her and it feels as if i took her world away well when you have a child who i raised not hitting but talking and talking and talking and getting the phoning home that Corissa is not passing as she is cutting class too many times and hangs out in the lunch room socializing with the wrong person Elizabeth something i must call Pat her vice principle about now lets see what daddy has to dish out as i just borrowed for necessity Corissa not being afraid to stand up to her father because he assured me he was going to have his little friends watch over her a make sure she is where she has to be that never happened and if i have to come to school and deal with it than so be it my being in contact with the school teachers not getting anywhere there are way too many students 1,400 and more how can i make her do what i know she can with this social media crap it is constant and i take the phone away then only then she sneaks the computer or my iPod it's wrong it wasn't suppose to happen this way i was going to teach her responsibility working doing good in school chores to be done get an allowance and she could pay for her own phone a very important lesson i am now competing with and it's wrong among other things yeah i'm upset there are evil people in the world and i always am giving people the benefit of the doubt |
she is late
why oh why
do i you heard right i i am going to be selfish where do i get pain from and why she has no clue and what should i do what about repairing what is broken i have no say so i don't think so where is she it would hurt so if she choose to be as her father oh how it would hurt she is an hour late what am i to do enuf done |
still not home
no call
not a word from her girlfriend i have to stand my ground this hurts so badly this hurts so heavily on my shoulder i lost her to what a young girl i don't know could be at his place that would just kill me but i must stand my ground i cannot cave dear Father take this pain away she has done this before no more pain no more pain |
home
my baby girl
is home got home at 8:00 used a strangers phone to call home was at the park a place you don't want to be alone let me not loose her to the streets today's world not an easy place especially when not prepared does she not want to go to school i mean i can't be there to make her go to class please don't let her be a high school dropout social media she does not have a face book truly socializing in school with the wrong crowd already as per her vice principal cannot get her motivated i have to be cursed what are the chances four children 4 independent children suffering in one way or the other i made no reason for my child to behave disrespectfully she is already way to ahead she needs to pull back she needs to find a purpose i have open communication she does not have to fear me and yes i raised her without hitting her not the same with my three older children did and that did not solve anything don't get it my daughter watches me with the baby sees how close she is with me at times in awe at the way she behaves it is natural for me to rear a child it works but with all of my children it happened all in the same manner it's like their right of way and let me just crap on my mom i don't have to call her and let her know where i am it doesn't work that way she knows the stuff i can understand her freshman year new town new school doesn't know anyone trying to find her way but fail again help she will get i promised her this she fell when she was out alone twisted her ankle will wrap it need to get some important business bills need to go out Corissa is staying home her foot and ankle swollen i will be speaking with her see into another school i don't know one step at a time |
Dearest Eva,
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Eva, I spoke with Corissa a couple of times for a few short minutes. (She thank me for being friends with her mother.) I could feel she is "special". Please let her know how I so want her to be happy; but with pride and strength. Strength she will need not to fall in with those that will not be good for her. She knows who they are. She has her whole future before her. Difficult as it may seem to her now; she has the choice. I pray the choice will lead her to pride in all things. Gerry |
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i certainly will she did not call again came home at 5:00 no phone call was with her girlfriend at the library point i told her please for the love of God let me know where you are or better yet ask can i if you know i may need for her to do something send her dressed in uniform as she has been singled out no 0 zero support as the one time she went to his house when the phone and uniform were the issue in the beginning of last year he bought her skinny jeans and did not see what was wrong with that fought me all the way opposite everything she is required in school and then the cutting class to hang with the wrong influenced easily people pleases helping her be her own person that she must follow school rules i did not make them even if i like most of the system she wants to dress out of uniform bamm put in TLC i get a call i am told what she is wearing NOT WHAT I SENT HER IN she is yet to carry her $200.00 back pack a place for everything never used it i have met her more than half way and enough is enough time to buckle down not that easy do not want to loose her to money this is what he bribes my daughter with she watches his wife beat the two girls with shoes DYFS interjected as school put the blame on the wife who can't speak a word of English not okay he did not raise the oldest one his sister-in-law did and married his best friend anyhow all affiliated with the same 12 step program i have maintained my home group meeting ever since i started 23 years ago and it works if you work it not get caught up in the gossip that goes on and i find tat i become topic of conversation as a woman he tells about my car comes to my house asks me at one point "can i ask you a question" said sure "does Luis take care of his child i said, "not only isn't he a father to her take her to school as i couldn't when i became ill but lied in court when i filed for child support to this day he hasn't complied lied about his income i never pressed the issue figured i did it with three i can do this again never factored in getting ill so the answer to your question is no" but that's okay i reported him to the IRS no ill feeling about it well this witch gave him the heads up and told him and tells Corissa we know the same people i know she reported me Corissa says you know your a lair and a cheat i seen what you do and what you claim i'm not stupid dad this he did not like that's quite alright he messed with the wrong women my daughter Saraeve is who i speak of there were she had to call i was mortified this blankin witch gave him the heads up and i thank you for your courage it takes courage i tell her to be your own person not to let anyone steal her desires her thunder how important she learn and absolutely to have fun always have fun she was always known for her beautiful smile it is beautiful as she is she morphed into a b e a u t i f u l f l o w e r she isn't my baby girl anymore a hickey on her neck and i ask was this public display not to mention it's not okay pull back put it on the back burner for now for now we will see be assured i'll tell her thank you for your concern open to anything |
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