So today has been a rough one the Gaba is not helping much or the hydrocodon either of flexeril.
It seems as though nothing is working the pain has been in lower back and down both legs today hurting like a S.O.B along with muscle spasms. I have pushed through it all day worked on Jade's (my littlest girl 6yr old) bike today fixed two flats for her and raised the seat also (she's getting so tall). Cooked dinner for us.Made blackened grilled chicken salad. Chicken cooked in (homemade) garlic butter sauce with cajun seasoning. Made salad from scratch non of this premixed salad mix. Bathed our largest dog also today . Accomplished a lot but have been paying for it all day knew if I stopped I would not continue with anything that needed to get done. So the day is over and now is the time to pay the pied piper .

dear Messymark
when i read you experiences strength and hope
i cannot help but see myself in the mirror when i read
it is almost scary
i commend you jobs well done
each chore was something that once was simple
i miss my dog
i gave him his baths
anyhow just getting the chores for
taking care of your little girl
kudos to you, hats off, bravo
this to me is a sign in some way
love her hold her squeeze her never let her go....
you are daddy the first man she falls in love with
i wish you a joyful life may she bring you belly laughs
so happy for you and sharing


someone who cares

picture is totally beautiful

someone who cares

Thank you for the comments on my Photography I have a blog where I post a lot of my photos just type in messymark.com and you will be taken to my page. again thank you. Also she is our world.

Dear friends
Make no mistake
any and all of my writing
is truth to the core
when Messy wrote of who
WE LOVE MOST sometimes
sees that MONSTER unfold
when I miss my Meds or
something happens like last
week end missed four days of
Meds and put myself through
ACCIDENTAL WITHDRAWAL ZAP
just like that because of me
Point pain and withdrawals not
NOT SO NOT pretty
My angel Corissa who has been
nothing but my ANGEL
who deserves nothing but the best
in everything she experiences
I have to show her how we move
on and make it to the next
DAY
as I BELEIVE in miricles
it happens everyday
I love being a mother and grandma
Blessed I am to have had four babies
Blessed I am

Someone who cares

into this world
we are up against
an awful beastly bullies
who take a title and misuse it
in the name of having it her way
and because i was relentless
about the truth of the matter
this not many will venture
there are persons of some agency
most state jobs have outrageous
thievery just plain old brutality
this is the state of N.J.
division of motor vehicle
found to be guilty of bribes
for identity
in the county fraudulent birth certificates
were given as bribery grows this as far back as 1960'S
well i'm not one to be reckoning with
if you knowingly were deceitful
these (many choice words) were going to use
deem mentally incapable of watching her
just not the case
my kindness was taken for stupid
oh was she cunning
oh how she wanted to know went down
all i said was
i was lied to
how it is clear that this was premeditated
and Carla still came to the house never telling me they were going to take the baby from me
she will not be allowed to manipulate the truth
i now will have my Dr. to write a letter with the facts
and

bring it the bleep on[/LIST]
someone who cares

dear friends
those concerned
majority of this all
that involves
not the issue at hand
the place to stay till
mommy completes her
what is called here
"the black out period 28 days"
there after baby with mommy
i have issues alright
the mass destruction of family
to disrupt a family
that is trying to help each other
for the sake of Eva
i head of this family
shall remain in her stance
all in the name of
truth and justice
i will keep the Faith and
Truth alive!

may all those involved even in the
slightest way
may you be punished for
being the cause of a happy
family with this child 1st in mind
try and tare us apart

phone

my psychotherapist
well just as i suspected
my Dr. did not utter anything
to DYFS THAT I WAS INCOMPETENT
MENTALLY

THERE YOU GO

READY TO BE VICTIMIZED YET AGAIN
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS
SO GOD HELP ME IT DOESN'T STOP
I JUST NEED TO CC MANY ON THE TOTEM POLE
IT STARTED SOMEWHERE
I SMELL ROTTEN FISHES
OPERATIVE WORD
ROTTEN

enough Eva
this is a place where someone goes for help

is it because she is beautiful in all
a loving demeanor
never a problem with her
she is laying in front of me watch
me type
she is mesmerized by the smiley faces


am i the only one that sees it
i will have my day in court

all i ask for are prayers

someone who cares

i hope for a trial
in my case with my neurosurgeon
i pray i learn quickly
this is all new to me
but i pray i can have a trial
so the persons will be able to hear
and see the injustice
allow me the opportunity to make a difference
including all them persons
that are addicts because it be
a lucrative business
and i speak of the reps coming in
while patients are waiting to be seen
but because they bought lunch for the office
it is all a ploy in the name of $$$$$

FROM BEGINNING TO END
PERIOD!

I GOD I TRUST
AMEN!