raised 4 children
last like an only child
when am i going to stop
being a doormat
took the phone away
jeez
you have got to be kidding me
i am so overdone
my brain it's done
it'll just chill
i going to try and go to sleep
tired i am
lord hear our prayers

the little strength i have left
my adult children suck out of me
i REFUSE TO BE A DOORMAT
WIPING THEIR GRIMY
FEET IN MY HOME
GET THE PICTURE
my daughter who i give and give
my help as she oh no wait i have two more
adult children i just dote over
had to use my plastic card to get her 5 bras
as her husband isn't beneath any kind of work
high school sweethearts yet mom is buying her bras
that can fit her properly as her back and shoulders hurt
triple D
then i like a donkeys *** give her and him
600 bucks from a loan i took out
to pay for her storage

then i have my son who till yet to make
any payment sept 50 bucks oct 50 bucks
he owes me over 5000 bucks 3000 loan and
2000 for his leather couch on my card that i just paid off

and this selfish child that is mommy to my granddaughter
has no control as she picked up again and again and again
i have custody what will she do
how much more pain does there have to be
i vowed 2014 i'm not taking anymore turd from anyone
not even my children

i have a fifteen year old who needs me and i will
be here for Eva also
after a terrible argument she hounded her mother
to allow her to say goodnight to me
i mean really

it is my time to get my house in order
then tackle my apartment as it is far from being done

once again all that has happened this passed
four or five days is call all on their turd i am not responsible
for
and i need my monies back
i am going to a slew of doctors that will need co-pays
a car that won't last much longer
dressing my adult girls as they can't do for themselves
i have a heart that gets torn to pieces each and every time
struggle for food is the last of the worse
this is not suppose to happen

oh my Father you know i do not enable my children
i just trusted them to be truthful to me

it's a horrible feeling if you feel your children do not like you as a person
and that is exactly how i feel
no if an or butts

i am by far a stupid woman
just a mother looking out for her birds
they haven't got the hang of flying down yet

i will not have any disrespect in my home
as there are rules to abide to

what is it with this fast electronic world i
am not lost in it as they are but i am learning
not to take the bull turd any more
i have 10 doctors to see
i will be getting to them alone

my grandchild and Corissa need me
and i intend to be there for them

Jesus my brother carry me my knees are
week my body aches for a couple of days
with all i have done

nobody but my savior do i trust to guide
me
i await your instructions

thank you Father
brother
mother Mary

i believe
i trust
thy will be done

i am so surprised to learn of my children true opinion
they all are selfish brats with what i had to teach them
makes me sick to my stomach
no excuses
as i said in the past
is my experience
people have problems with the truth
i have accepted their wanting out of my life
never to hear their excuses
never going to fly with
my own parent who birthed me
seems to have a problem as i answer it's me
i don't have it in me to call her mom
as she confessed what bothered her
so i said if that's what you want to hear i can do that
then she says not if it doesn't come from the heart
i say thank you for understanding like 3 times
oh i cleaned up an awful lot today
and for that my daughter assaults me
you read right she was arrested
i have her belongings together
my son did not like me asking for the monies back
not to mention his beautiful remark like
i am white trash
as i called him on the political corruption going
on in the republican party and the low life trash
people NYC police and firemen claiming all false info about there well being as the collect from 911
these are trash persons
how dare my son
how dare my oldest
how dare Christine bite the one who is on her side
as i ***** and moan all the belongings little Eva has destroyed
including mom
because mommy is occupied on the phone
or text not read to her or get on the floor with her
and play legos or tea party
ENOUGH
I WILL SURVIVE
THIS IS WHAT I AM USED TO SINCE A LITTLE GIRL
did not raise my children like trash
before my life changed my routine on Sunday was have the most four hours of ironing always sending my kids to school neat and clean
BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I AM WHITE TRASH
TODAY IS TWO YEARS MY BREAST WERE TAKEN THIS TOO
HURTS
BUT I CALLED ON IT
NO MORE TAKING TAKING TAKING TAKING
AND THIS IDIOT GIVES GIVES
I AM BURNED ENOUGH TIMES IN MY MEANINGLESS LIFE
WHAT GOOD IS IT WHEN YOU CHILDREN DO NOT EVEN LIKE YOU
CORISSA WAS VERY HURT WHAT HER BROTHER SAID
AND SHE IS HERE TO KNOW THE TRUTH OF ALL OF IT HOW THE F DO THEY THINK THEY ARE DEALING WITH
THEIR MOM LIKE THIS
NOT HAVING IT
NOT
IT WAS UGLY UGLY UGLY
SO IN THE END NEVER MADE IT TO THE HOSPITAL
FOR PICTURES OF CERVICAL AND LUMBAR W/AND WITHOUT CONTRAST
MY MAMMO IN THE SAME HOSPITAL
MY BLOOD WORK
NO MY DAUGHTER NEEDED TO BE FRESH WITH HER MOUTH
I WARNED HER KNOCK IT OFF OR YOU WILL NOT BE RETURNING HOME WITH ME AND THE BABY
SHE SAT HER BUTT ON MY COUCH AN SAID I AM NOT MOVING
I SAID MOVE AND THAT WAS IT

I AM TIRED HOPE NOT TO THINK
my knees are killing me
in addition to all the other crap

sent my surgeon the bone simulator back in it i put the best picture of my hematoma on top wrapped it in Christmas paper
and sent it certified
to be a fly on the wall
good night
thanks for letting me share
baby is doing good
as Corissa is also

Unfortunately too many parents give and give hoping for thanks and love in return. All too often, when their children become adults they have not learned to be responsible for themselves. Very sad and heartbreaking.


Gerry

when
i should have sent them on their way the moment they graduated high school
how
i would have offered a year to do whatever they needed to start living life as they wish
why
at a young age i taught them well about taking care of themselves example taken them to the dentist eye dr
physical exam did my job
could have not even done the basics
i just believe in preventive health care
who
all of it done alone
as well enough about their he was a pip himself
i was it took i seriously and raised them alone
they did not ask to be born
what
nothing left but me watching Eva a mom is not clean
after yesterday Christine getting physical with me
you know my pains are through the roof
my appointments all rescheduled
she want to come home
oh brother guide me

I was/am fortunate. Even tho my father had left when I was only eleven, I had learned from my mother, when I graduated school and lived at home, to give a portion of my earnings to cover expenses incurred living at home. My mother had taught me responsibility even tho my dad did not contribute as he should have. Her lessons helped me when I was raising my children.

Neither I, nor my children asked to be born either. Being the "brat" I was at times; had even voiced this to my mother saying "I wished I had never been born". But be that as it may......life is not our own choice.

Oh;...I still remember one of my mother's sayings....."The first 100 years are the hardest".

She had many; the funniest was ..."If I knew I was going to fall, I would have sat down first".


Gerry

thank you Gerry i needed that
your input valued
friend

"Oliver
1/8, 6:50pm
Oliver
i am so glad since an early age knew to seek help on my own help as nobody is a adult until at least 24 or 25 no matter how much responsibility that was layed upon you as your sympathetic necessities that you were un able to be responsible for because your husband could not get off his lazy *** let alone your lazy *** be lucky that i wasn't like my mother completely and woke yous up on a night like today on a weekend morning all windows opened and get up and start cleaning but no your husband that you choose and are i hope happy with because as i wrote to my friends how pathetic it is that i need to buy bras for my daughter at the age of 32 let alone take the last of my savings 600 dollars from my life insurance to pay for her precious belongings in storage because hubby nor my daughter payed for the storage i intrusted her with the family pet only to see my dog subjected to roaches and mice confined in a room forced to eat food that is not meant for him as he as a pup ate the best dry food i could get him and she has the audasity to tell me that her husband failed to keep his vows and how nice it is that you can lean on your mother as you still do STOCKHOLM SYNDROM?!? funny how i had to be there for both my adult daughter thru all of her surgeries used all my days that are given to me fom my job and use them for my children simotsniously a daughter that needed kidney surgery so a good 15 years of my life was dedicated to being there to a child that is not a adult to a child that was and whos boyfriend could not keep a roof over her head forcing them now to probably live the next 5 years before he could start life on a financial level and were all my adult children bleed me dry and have now a granddaughter who i am responsible for because her mother chooses not to go to a meeting get under my roof beyond disrespectful is the least i could say you on the other hand may think you pick up the phone you may think that i know you love me you may think that you pick up the phone you may think i am not here why oh why could you not have closed your bridges up and left or better yet go to the man who had visitation rights oh someone please tell me where he ever took action with the courts to enforce and fight to see you children where do you think you crossed the line i can tell you exactly when but im not gonna let you know what it was i will if i have to do what i have to without having a child who has the time to reciprocate pay it forward if you will know it dosent feel good to know your children do not like the person she is the truth is im done being the glue that corissa refers to as keeping the family together you all need to take a good long look in the mirror aand take look at who you really are regardless your mother
Oliver
1/8, 7:10pm
Oliver
in addition i gotta son who fails to give me back my money he owes me i gotta pull it from him not the way i gave it to him used my card to buy himself a couch adn then told me to go **** my self yeah thats right this stupid mother who dosent give a **** but yeah my baby boy not a gift not a present something that he asked for something that i loaned him the use of my plastic card so he can sit his *** on it along with his little friends was he responsible did he pay me back as promised no i got go **** yourself a mother who still waits for that moment her son know what is like to live on his own and a daughter who breaks her promise who fails to remember who helped push her into the life of writing you all are selfish and make me sick i have a grandchild who loves me to death that if it wasnt for the consistency and me having custody of her she wouldnt have a place she knows her grandmother loves her very very much i will not see or associate myself with lies i due wait for my money not in bits and peices stop hanging on mommies finances you selfish selfish pigs pigs are given food in a neater fashion then you give oliver his food oh how i feel sorry for him this is a indication of her selfishness shame on her
SaraEve
1/8, 7:16pm
SaraEve
guess what? that's all called being a MOM.
if you didn't want to do it, you could have been a MOTHER, like Nana, or given us up for adoption, or shipped us off to our father.
Today
Oliver
9:22am
Oliver
you the sneaky one
you are the pick of the litter
why oh why does you grandmother calling me about the monies $500.00 to be exact
and why did you ask me to pay for your storage as it was ready to be auctioned off
a mother who has to buy her daughter clothes as her "husband" lay around waiting for work
someone who is living with mother and father in law with my dog who has not seen a doctor yet for you both are so selfish you don't im sorry won't by him food or has no litter to void
you selfish little turd
know that you did bring it up
if i could do it all over again
hell no
it should have always been about me
please do not fret
i do not know you from your brother to you bitches about the future not much
**** you and the ***** that came in after you
please could one of you show shred of
anything that would have gone to court and enforce his rights to have you
oh what a relief it would have been
you ma think you are sitting pretty
i am ashamed of you all
i lived most my life picking up after slobs
let alone coming home from work at 6:00 in the morning to a sink full of **** between you an your boy
that you did anything for yourself Eva
unheard of you brats needed my attention
pay your grandmother back
im sick and tired of cleaning up your after you and your brothers ********
as for you and children your right everything for a reason
you my dear cannot even take care of a 10 lb. dog maybe 8 lbs now
as you proclaim your **** i might as well jump in
remember you never had brain surgery or
went to college
oh how things would have been different
if he only took you all
but he chose not to
please let me see anything that says he did not have rights
you selfish little girl
i just needed to buy you bras
bras
bras
underware
underware
unheard of of a almost 33 year old maid
as you always said your boy wont be going any where soon as you both can't put two pennies together
i only took out 600 for my policy
right becsause you came crying how everything will be gone
like i said you grandmother called saying how not even a phone call to her yet
after taking her money also and taking you poor little shits out after you pathetic
wedding !
take a good look in the mirror as i told your brother both of you talking behind my back as you sister christine called you both on your ****
michs
michael puts himself in the hospital when in at turmoil he puts himself into the hospital and leaves all his **** behind for someone else to pick up his ****
the **** heads that you really are
as i told your brother
both of you yet have no clue what its like living on you own and not mooching off of whoever you can
oh i didn't give you a hundred dollars when you went to Boston
as your boy had no way of doing it
i didn't do that now shame on you eva
keep up the lousy job
maybe just maybe you might get it
like i said your grandmother is bitching how you borrowed i say took as she says she hasn't heard from you since
and the rest
you owe me
along with others
shame on you
shame on you
gave you monies for your meds
stole money from me
zero for my meds between you and michael shame on all of you
as for me i'll **** off for now"


this is how dirty it gets
this is the real stuff
only in anger do they express
themselves
as much left in between
Christ Jesus
punish me if i was anything
like my mother to my children
why oh why do i need to hear
from her now and tell me her woes
how my children called upon her for monies
to bail them out
then bleed me dry
i never owed anyone anything all my life
ever
have always been there for my family
including outside my children sisters mother
not one time did i refuse them
if i am that terrible terrible person to
them as my grandchild comes to me to
play tea party
or build a pool or castle till i cannot move
as my being seizes stiffens
strike me down if i lie
i never knew the truth
suspected
only where is it that the dads father whatever you
want to refer to them as by name
you can surely be certain i exhausted them all
the one thing greatly appreciate
"THE TRUTH"
you may wonder how can you speak of them like such
all fouled is anger driven
but the truth is out
it hurts
but it is the truth

if it weren't for my sister to be the one to say
there is a third person
on with us
yeah
my daughter
has no place to sleep
can she come"here" to sleep
in the morning my youngest daughter
see's her take my keys
as i was on the phone with my sister
she says she told her sister give back the keys
as she fumbled with them
she gave it to her sister
her sister says give me the mailbox keys
my daughter stole my keys for my mailbox
the cops here to escort her
Eva sleeping has seen enough
not to mention be mean to her sister
Corissa
then the butt of a father calls telling me how to
do things
i told him my the judge made the decision she be in
my care and the mother no longer stay with me
well there were times she would purposely fall asleep
i was okay with as it long as she did not
cause any problems
sad to sat he is not priority Eva and Corissa
and crossed the line when he began swearing
and the cursing
bingo done
hung up the phone
then left a message that if i should give him
any problems

i have put my all in helping
i hope they will not take her
and place her in any foster care
my mother would jump in
so she told me as they say

SHE STOLE MY KEYS
LIE AND ROB YOU MOTHER
MY FAULT
STILL TOOK ON THE JOB
WHETHER THEY LEFT OR NOT

pun intended and i reached my threshold


Eva and Corissa are doing great
she napped and woke so happy
mom on the other hand stole from me
and her sister
turned physical as i heard something thrown
then stopped
Corissa was being picked on by her
her period is due
not a way to live
sister will stop by
evas father hasn't called
i'm getting ready for bed soon
we'll see