Oh Eva,

That is inexcusable and unacceptable. I think I would have been far less tolerant. To behave like that in front of your child?!

What you are doing is fighting your pains and illnesses with dignity while trying to hold together a Family. You are fighting these fights as best you can, and with His Will you can prevail.

Through everything, we are here for you.

Dave.

I Know the suffering of pain that has filled me with fear. The worst were the nightly screams when laying down to sleep at night. Fusion/laminectomy almost nine years ago lessened the screams; but too much pain remained

Fear of the amount of pain medication I take daily; don't see any end to it. As my GI doctor told me; as long as you are on narcotic meds; you will be on Miralax; at least twice a day. This was shortly after removal of rectum in 2012 due to cancer. Do not have bag; but going without a vital part of a normal bodily function eventually leads to pain inside as well as outside. Stomach bulge (like a major league ball) appears to be colon/possible hernia. Additional pain of PN pain of legs and burning ankles and feet.

Don't see any end to all of this; but the one thing that I have and pray Eva too will experience is the love and respect I receive from my three adult children. As much as my body is, at times ready to give up, I know love.

My son gave a toast on Mother's Day which included how as parents we make mistakes; but we don't come into this world with an instruction booklet; we do the best we can. He spoke of the values instilled in them succeeded with them becoming who the are today. (Honest, truth worthy, kind Christian adults). I only wish I could pass this message on to Eva's children. While my body is filled with pain; my heart aches for Eva.


Gerry

Gerry,

You always offer so much despite your excruciating pain and other problems. It raises my heart to hear that your children are so supportive, as it is lowered by Eva's travails - my two daughters are Polar opposites. We all have our struggles and wish only the best for our Loved Ones.

So keep drawing comfort from your family, in giving you strength they, themselves are indirectly helping those you help here.

Be a proud Mother.

Dave.

I too know what it is like to have a child that suffered from cocaine addiction. She has been clean for many years.

At present, my middle child (daughter) is working with others dealing with addiction. She has taken courses and is certified. She has even gone to visit the prison for a few of the younger addicts. She especially works with the parents.

Eva,
Keep praying. Don't feel your life, as far as your children are concerned, is over. As I had mentioned in a previous post. We don't see the whole picture. Eventually, we will.


Gerry

My dear friend

I know you know I know
Thank you for being understanding
I ask my shrink again
What is it with me
And his answer is
You have been through much in life
And I think to myself
Tell me something I don't know
Love
Me

…And he went through 7 years of Training for those Pearls

Really
Are you for real
Love
Me

Dear Eva,

My last Psychologist - the one who deliberately triggered a Panic Attack - said, when I was virtually crawling to the door at the end of the session, 'You are an interesting Subject'. As though I were no more than a lab rat. Never went back.

You, with your personality shining through your issues, deserve words of encouragement, a course of action, possible/probable answers.

How about paying him/her? by 'Helpful words spoken'.

Dave

Today I make it to the oncologists office
My three month check up
Last time I was there he was going to give
me a script for my mammo (forgotten)
Got home called them asked for the office
to mail script
That was three months ago
Now I know how I expressed over and over
again about how I HATE going to doctors
I did all I was suppose to do when I was
young mother how very important yearly well
checks was a routine in my family
So I put off the neglect
Said to myself ill have to see obgyn routine
PAP and get my script for mammo
The office cancelled on me doctor in delevery
won't be in office
This happened twice
Still awaiting for a reschedule
Asked Sue who works for George the Doc
for years
So I ask her to kindly send me script for
Sonogram for my removed breasts and
search for any left over Cancer
I have a problem under my arm and it
does not seem to be a issue
So waking in my usual way from pain
Maybe I slept 3 solid hours
will be starting my day with a cup of warm
coffee strong for the headaches everyday
from neck
Took my morning Meds a hour earlier
as ill be moving around early getting ready
So lets see

I left my cardiologist after being with him
since 2003 because I and a different patient were
scheduled for the same day and time
We were there before doors opened
As the assistant further said that the doctor
would not be in
I collected my files
As my doctor sided with the front end
and the woman who made my appointment
no longer worked there
When I found my appointment card I made
a copy attached a letter
And that was that never seen Felix
My first Meds on a daily basis began with him
My blood pressure Meds and my Xanax for I
would spike 200 beats per minute or more
It's my shrink that handles the Xanax
Haven't found a cardiologist I trust or like
Had my necular stress test before second
Posterior cervical distectomy fusion because I failed
to fuse the first time
This is how I found out I had and apical defect of the heart
ask me if I needed to know with all the other crap going on
Anyhow it is suppose to rain
Management in my building may try and give me a hard time
for a parking space does not have to be handicap but to swap
with those in the building of 300units have more than one
Some may have up to three with storage
Very political and curupt this I will fight

I am on the top level
Open to the elements
And in the winter they come
to my door to move it so they could plow
Now of course it needs to be done
But I told them I will apply
it should not be a problem
My copy of handicap lisence and a month verbal
request
With my copy was a written request for

accommodation for a different spot
I will go to the office upon my return
It feels like a stressful day
I know for sure sounds like it



We shall see
Me

Today I make it to the oncologists office
My three month check up
Last time I was there he was going to give
me a script for my mammo (forgotten)
Got home called them asked for the office
to mail script
That was three months ago
Now I know how I expressed over and over
again about how I HATE going to doctors
I did all I was suppose to do when I was
young mother how very important yearly well
checks was a routine in my family
So I put off the neglect
Said to myself ill have to see obgyn routine
PAP and get my script for mammo
The office cancelled on me doctor in delevery
won't be in office
Asked Sue who works for George the Doc
for years
So I ask her to kindly send me script for
Sonogram for my removed breasts and
search for any left over Cancer
I have a problem under my arm and it
does not seem to be a issue
So waking in my usual way from pain
Maybe I slept 3 solid hours
will be starting my day with a cup of warm
coffee strong for the headaches everyday
from neck
Took my morning Meds a hour earlier
as ill be moving around early getting ready
So lets see

I left my cardiologist after being with him
since 2003 because I and a different patient were
scheduled for the same day and time
We were there before doors opened
As the assistant further said that the doctor
would not be in
I collected my files
As my doctor sided with the front end
and the woman who made my appointment
no longer worked there
When I found my appointment card I made
a copy attached a letter
And that was that never seen Felix
My first Meds on a daily basis began with him
My blood pressure Meds and my Xanax for I
would spike 200 beats per minute or more
It's my shrink that handles the Xanax
Haven't found a cardiologist I trust or like
Had my necular stress test before second
Posterior cervical distectomy fusion because I failed
to fuse the first time
This is how I found out I had and apical defect of the heart
ask me if I needed to know with all the other crap going on
Anyhow it is suppose to rain
Management in my building may try and give me a hard time
for a parking space does not have to be handicap but to swap
with those in the building of 300units have more than one
Some may have up to three with storage
Very political and curupt this I will fight

I am on the top level
Open to the elements
And in the winter they come
to my door to move it so they could plow
Now of course it needs to be done
But I told them I will apply
it should not be a problem
My copy of handicap lisence and a month verbal
request
With my copy was a written request for

accommodation for a different spot
I will go to the office upon my return
It feels like a stressful day
I know for sure sounds like it



We shall see
Me