[lor]

I'm on the comp. sitting next to the phone right now. Since John (he's outa town this week) usually gets things for his dad (who fell long ago, was in hosp for a long time & still is a little ill), I called him to see if he wants my son & I to get anything. He wants newspaper & o.j. then told me he wants us to fill the gas tank in his van. We drove him to the Dr once & will Thursday, in his van. But I don't think John wants him to get gas....his dad shouldn't drive cuz his sight is now bad. But he might claim gas is needed. He's my FIL (& Steve's GP) so it would be hard to say "no" but...? Oh no, what do I do?

[karousel]

Can you keep putting off getting gas for his van? If he asks when you bring the things he needs, can you tell him you'll do it on Thursday after his dr's? Then maybe you can kind of forget or maybe just put a little gas in? Just throwing thoughts our there. I'm not much help because I would be sitting there wondering what to do also!!

[lor]

Karousal, Thanks for responding. When we went to his house he now just said he wants us to go see him try to open his hood, he claims something is hard regarding opening it. Also, he wants to clean or change his air filter he says. Steve drives it or John drives it when he is in town, to take him to his Dr. I say if his car needs something his son (John) can do it. I still wonder if he wants to somehow get gas (like to have Steve drive it to "see if all is OK with it" then on the way home he'd want Steve to stop & get gas (how can a kid say NO to his grandpa?).

Wasn't it here were I read that someone said that to stop her mom (or someone) from driving (cuz the mom shouldn't due to heath, but mom wants to) they took her keys or took a neccessary componet out of the car. I thought of this when I thought about my FIL & driving.

[karousel]

Good thing to put it back in your DH's hands. If he has reservations about his father driving, it's best that he be in charge of all of that. This will be less stressful for you and your DS and your DH can make sure things are the way they should be. Our aging parents can tend to be a tough one! (going through it myself)

[Jomar]

If his sight is bad maybe suggest an eye check up to see if he passes that?
The DMV office has the vision check machines.

But then if he fails there, I don't know if they make him turn in his license then or not.. until he can pass the test... could be a good way to do it unless he will get very upset if his lic is taken.

Or get a test with his regular eye dr?

He could injure or kill someone or cause lots of property damage and lose everything he has....

Does he actually drive much at all??
or maybe it's just reassuring for him to have the car there in case of emergency??

[kicker]

My FIL was driving his van for our company - DH's phone number written big - Walt had also been a crazy driver - now we were getting calls that our "employee" was drunk or crazy or something. DH called Div. of Motor Vehicles - his Dad lost his license when retested. Walt eventually died with Alzheimer's in a hospice as a cancer he also got real bad.

It was hard for DH to do what he did, but I believe lives were and health of others were spared. It can be hard to do the right thing.

[braingonebad]

I'm sure that was tough for your dh to do, kicker. I hope more people have it in them, when the time comes. My kids are probably not going to think twice about me, lol...



*Yank her keys!*

Lor, I'm with Karousel. dh's father, dh's business. I would not ask my dh to step in if my mom shouldn't be on the road, I'd handle that myself. I'd expect him to handle it if his mother needed to stop driving, too, even though I DO care about her safety. I would certainly say something, if he needed to be told it was time to get her keys away from her though.

[lor]

I agree with you guys on more than one thing. John should deal with his dad, not me or the kids. It's not that my FIL bothers me or somethin, but he is thrown in mine & my kids' hands sometimes. John & me & the kids are all he's got here in Toledo and often John has to go out of town on business & that leaves me & the kids. I hate that. Also, I agree, older people should be made to have to take a physical test before their license is renewed. I don't drive due to epilepsy because I know a seizure is possible (I don't have auras that warn me like some do). I don't want to hurt or kill someone. Maybe John can get his dad to see it this way. His dad might think something like 'Well if I can't drive whats the use. If I get hurt so be it.' BUT WHAT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE?

[kicker]

BGB DH has full charge of Mom issues although I did get and initiate the "I've faalen and can't get up" wearable alarm button after talking to him cause I'm really good at purchasing on-line. She visited this summer (she's 86), twice she fell asleep and looked dead (weird places to sleep - at a table and in Living room). I had him check.

My kids had no problem with me giving up driving (depth perception/eye issues then a chair.) DD (17) loves her complete access to my car. My step=mother drove me once (she's long dead now) and it was terrifying!!!!