Being hard of hearing can cause hard feelings. Nearly seven out of ten (64.8 percent) respondents feel annoyed when their spouse can not hear them. In addition, 16.4 percent feel ignored and 8.1 percent feel sad or hurt.

Raised voices become more familiar. More than half (59.8 percent) find themselves in recent years talking louder daily so their spouse can hear them. And 83.4 percent feel that if they do talk loud enough, it helps their spouse better understand what they are saying.

Is it hearing loss, or selective hearing? While 45.3 percent of respondents believe their spouse doesn’t hear chore requests, 77.5 percent say their spouse can hear them fix a snack.

Nearly half believe their spouse is in denial about their hearing loss. Of the Boomers surveyed, 56.8 percent feel their spouse is reluctant to get his or her hearing checked. Nearly half (46.4 percent) feel that denial is the number one reason their significant other is hesitant to get his or her hearing checked.

Hearing screenings are few and far between. More than a third (35.6 percent) know their spouse hasn’t had his or her hearing checked in more than three years. Moreover, 23.4 percent revealed that their spouse has never had his or her hearing checked.

Thanks, Alffe, I'm in a situation with a selectively deaf father. He is definitely hard of hearing, but can also be hard of listening. He's adamantly opposed to having his hearing tested and I just can't figure out why. I'm desperately tired of repeating virtually everything I say to him.

He won't say why, I've tried to get him to talk about it. I even showed him pictures of modern hearing equipment because I thought maybe he had images of the big clunky thing on the back of the ear. He's almost 86. Is it pride? Stubbornness? Attitude? It ain't fashion, I can definitely tell you that much.

My Dad was hard of hearing due to nerve damage in his left ear. He only had about 60% of the hearing in his right ear (his "good" ear).

I always had to remember to talk to him from his right side and even then I had to speak loudly. I am naturally soft spoken so I had to really make an effort to speak up.

I can remember getting so frustrated and even impatient that I had to repeat virtually everything to him. He didn't like the hearing aid - said he couldn't hear with that "thing" in his ear!!!

He'd get aggravated and impatient with people who didn't speak loud enough for him to hear them and those who tried to talk to him from his left side. I used to think that he had selective hearing, too, because if we wanted to say something quietly that we didn't want him to hear he'd somehow hear THAT particular conversation!!

I think back on times that I just wasn't as understanding as I could have been and hope that he knows that I'm sorry and wish I could have him back here with me - if only just for a few minutes - so I could tell him how much I love and miss him.

Believe me, I know how frustrating it can be. My Dad was the classic "grumpy old man" but he still had his sense of humor even if I was about the only one who recognized it!!

Yep, I hear ya!

My Dad will turn 95 this August and refuses to wear a hearing aid. The power saws he used to create beautiful furniture, clocks, etc. have ruined his hearing.

I actually did get him to have his ears checked last year. It was such a relief when the hearing tech adjusted the test equipment so that I could talk in a normal voice and Dad didn't say, "Quit mumbling!" Butttt, he wouldn't cough up the big bucks for a hearing aid!

Dad avoids anything that makes him look "old." After he had a mild stroke last month I tried to get him to carry a cane. Nope. We bought him an emergency button on a lanyard in case he fell in the shower again. Nope. He won't even put it in his pocket while he mows the lawn.

He admits he's reluctant to wear a hearing aid b/c of the stigma. Whatever. Let's face it: He's OLD!!!

Kelly, I naturally project my voice, (okay, I'm LOUD!). My son has been partially deaf since a childhood friend shot a rifle right next to his ear w/o any warning. And my DH is losing his hearing.

AMN, do you think if we introduced our fathers that they could even have a conversation? Silly old dudes. I know we love our grumpy old men, but it sure wears you out to have to care-ful-ly e-nun-ci-ate each syl-la-ble. *shrug*

I hate to admit it.....but I can see in myself the exact things that I used to get so frustrated about with my Dad!!! Lord, help me!! No.....Lord help my kids!!!

Yup, I know what you mean...unfortunately, it's my husband, not my father.

My husband was hit in the ear with a snowball during his first year at college.

He had excruciating ear pain and went to the school infirmary. The doctor declared him to have a bad ear infection and gave him antibiotics.

After a week of pain, he went home for the weekend.

While he was at home, his mother took him to the family doctor who diagnosed a ruptured ear drum as opposed to an ear infection.

They surgically repaired the ear, but since he went a week without proper care, he lost a significant amount of hearing in that ear.

Couple that with standard "older male hearing loss", and conversations can be a little strained.

Sometimes we can talk for several minutes before I realize we are having two different conversations...the one I started, and the one he THINKS we are having!

And he, too, firmly believes his hearing isn't bad enough for a hearing aide. Boy is he wrong!!

My dh lost nearly all his hearing in both ears when he was very young (extremely high fevers caused it) He went to a school for children with vision and hearing problems and learned to read lips rather than sign.

He wears hearing aids in both ears but a lot of the times it is still difficult for him to hear. I love him dearly but admit I do find myself getting a bit upset when I constantly have to repeat something (especially when I don't remember what I said in the first place! lol) or when the tv is so loud I can't hear myself think.

But on the fun side of it, when we go out to eat he can tell me what the converation is at the other tables. lol

My family is one where a NORMAL hearing is out of the ordinary! LOL
I have a hereditary high-frequency nerve deafness type of loss. My grandmother, my mother had the same type. No idea why it is that one out of four of us siblings (ME ME ME) was only one that got these genes. I've had aids in both ears since I was 45. I have about a 30% loss.
My son was flunking hearing tests at school when he was in only 5th grade. At age 18 he got hearing aids in both ears. He was told that he has 60% hearing loss in each ear.
Two years ago, while running a circular saw thru flooring and underlayment, my husband's hearing became suddenly MUCH worse. We knew he had a bit of loss prior to this time, doctors said it was with age. Hearing tests showed that he had damaged his ears with the constant high freqency and loud noise of the saw. He soon had aids in both ears, learning that he only had about half of his hearing left.
We aren't ashamed of our loss, it's nothing more to us than wearing glasses or braces, or having to walk with a cane. It's part of who we are.
Yes, there's a lot of misunderstandings, sometimes it's actually funny the things that we THOUGHT were said! LOL
Many people with normal hearing think that talking LOUDER makes it easier to understand. Not all the time. Some losses fall into the range where all the consonants such as B,P,C,D,G all begin to sound the same. Instead of saying the word LOUDER, we've found that it helps to say such things as "B, as in boy" or "D as in dog" to help the other person understand the word we're speaking of.
Don't think of hearing loss as an "old age condition". As is evident, the nerve deafness seems to be appearing at an earlier age with each generation in my sons case.
I just pray that with all the modern technology..that within a few years, they'll be doing inner ear transplants and we won't have to WORRY about wearing hearing aids!

Nah, I think they'd sit and have a belching (or worse) contest while comparing battle scars and inflated conquests. Then they'd resort to slow-motion arm-wrestling (after their naps) and then watch really loud, bad B&W movies until they were both sound asleep (vertically). Then, in the afternoon, my dad could beat your dad up.

Well....LOL! I just loved all this input...I worked, years ago for an audiologist so I have some idea of "sounds like"..and just guessing, etc..Now I/We are
"there" and all the "denial" (stop mumbling!! Stop whispering!)

It really is a life changing thing...if you can't hear, can't communicate..it's just awful......