[spartanwoman]

Sort version! I've ADHD, anxiety, PTSD from childhood physical and sexual abuse and getting robbed at gunpoint as an adult. (Depression is possibly bi-polar as I'm sometimes *over* happy and confident... but this wasn't confirmed, just suggested to me by a therapist years ago)

Here's the problem. I was raised in a family that didn't *believe* in the above things. So when the school said I had ADHD when I was 12, my parents took me out to home school me, did not medicate me, and figured that slapping me around would set me straight. Got married at 21. Had terrible terrible depression and flashbacks as I moved away from my parents at that time and I started remembering things. I went to two therapists, but then couldn't afford it so I stopped.

Fast forward. Now I'm 30 and haven't had a real job in years. When I did, I'd have panic attacks and call in to work, cry on my breaks, jab pencils into my skin, etc. We've been struggling this whole time, but now it's just so bad! But the whole time I thought I could just "push thru it." I've been totally delusional and I see that now. I was just so afraid of loosing control..... anyway. The problem is, looking back over my history, I think I really "should have" seen about medication earlier, and also seen about getting onto SSI.

*Here's the Issue*
Because of all of the mental problems, I have no concept of time, and I forget things and I have a hard time keeping track of paperwork. So. I don't know what my past therapists names where, or when I saw them. Because I've been without a normal job for so long, I've lost track of a bunch of places I've worked - including people who fired me because I was bringing my emotions to work with me, or who let me go because I was pulling my hair out at work (literally). O_O

Now, there is a chance that I will go in to the Doctor tomorrow, he will send me to pdoc, I will get a prescription and "everything will be ok" but... I know that pills don't teach skills, and I know I need to train my *life*, no matter what. And I know there's not a "cure" in those bottles. Just help. hopefully.... Either way though, I'd like to get the ball rolling, and if I *DO* miraculously get "better" then: awesome! But if not... this will at least keep me off the street. So what do I do??? Is it like starting over again, even though it's been "known" for years that I have these issues and that they effect me? Do I have to see a psychologist and psychiatrist for a year or something more before I file? And how am I supposed to do this with little money in-pocket and no insurance?

[Jomar]

It might be worth getting a few free consults/evaluation of you case.

check the sticky threads near the top of the forum - here's a good one to start with-
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread367.html

I would make a list of names, locations or as much as you can remember to start with, of who you saw.
Seeing it in writing might help you recall more of them.

Go online to where ever you lived back then and look for therapist or doctors names to see if they jog your memory.
Same for jobs & employers.


You might also post on our Bipolar forum as they may have dealt with similar things.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread367.html

[jana]

I don't want to sound harsh or make light of what horrible things have happened to you -- bless your heart, you have been in some dark places.

BUT, I don't want you to think that the ONLY thing you can do is sit "still" and get a check. This, in my humble opinion, would be the WORST thing for your self-esteem. You are a SURVIVOR!! Girl, so many wouldn't still be here -- alive and kicking after all you have been through!! Meds CAN turn your world around. I've seen it in my years as a guidance counselor and as a friend to people in horrific situations. You are just gonna have to have some faith.

Maybe you will have to rely on public assistance FOR A WHILE -- but, with a end goal of GETTING BETTER and getting a job that will give you pride and a good income! I can SEE it happening!!

Strattera is a great drug for focus -- I have a family member with ADD who takes it. I know it can have side effects, but he isn't have any problems. It took him from C's and D's to A's!! Bi-polar is pretty well understood and can be treated. PTSD can be treated with counseling. NOTHING is easy -- but, if you don't TRY...........!!! Remember, you've had people who didn't BELIEVE you. When you have people who believe you and CARE..................your world is gonna change!

[SSDIHelp]

The idea of writing down the places & people is an excellent idea. With the internet you can frequently find docs from your area, particularly from health type' cllinics'.
If people you know don't remember the doctor, then they might have memories that trigger something for you. SSDI also takes into consideration the 'longitudinal' record as you record it.
It's critical to give details the way you did in your post when you write your application.
Also, check out the Blue Book from SSA on mental health issues, http://www.ssa.gov/disability/profes...ders-Adult.htm . It has a great deal of information regarding what to document to receive SSDI. You don't always need a listing-level illness to receive SSDI. SSA will also apprpove for conditions whcih cumulatively equate to listing-level illness.
If you want advice on the 2010 application, contact me privately and I will send an article I wrote on the subkect.
Trudi

[finz]

In many areas, there are mental health clinics that can offer help at a reduced cost/sliding scale fees.

I know it's harder in some areas than others, but I would SERIOUSLY focus on either you or your husband trying to find a job that does offer mental health coverage as part of the health insurance.

I think it would be very difficult to get/arrange for SSDI or SSI approval for mental health issues without having complete documentation and a very thorough treatment plan. To be blunt....it could be seen as a waste of money for the SSA to just throw money at a problem to make it go away when it would be better spent on managing the problem. To be even blunter.....to get approved for SSDI/SSI, you need to prove you can't work despite all accomodations and maximizing your abilities. You haven't been able to put your best efforts into working because you have not had adequate treatment.

It sounds like in your case SW, even you can't possibly know how functional you could be with proper treatment. I really think that needs to be your focus right now.

Can your husband or a trusted friend help with documenting your doctor/therapy visits and the treatment plans ?

I know that paying out of pocket for visits is crushing to personal finances. It could still be money well spent if it helps you get control of what you can and maximize your capabilities. That could improve your quality of life.......and the documentaion obtained could be what will help with eventual SSDI/SSI approval if even with treatment you are not able to work.

Best wishes trying to get through this.