[hisbeauty4ashes]

Hi friends it has been awhile since I have been on here I need to talk really bad.

I just went in for a discogram and the good news is the disc's did not hurt when they put the dye in but the needles about killed me as they tore through scare tissue. Anyway this means the disc is not causing pain.

But what hit me and caused me to cry there in the doctors office was there was no hope in fixing the pain which is horrible in my lumbar spine. I have not stopped crying because I do not want to live the rest of my life like this. I was hoping it was something they can fix. I just want to be better.

It turns out to be the disc that is already fused causing me the problems and there is no way to fix that. I have partial medal in my spine that causes allot of pain on my left side could it be the medal in there?

On top of all this my neck fusion caused allot of problems and nerve damage. Well on top of that I am dealing with massive neck pain that shoots through my thoracic spine and I am living in neck braces. Well I am suppose to have MRI's but my insurance declined them. I had to fight to appeal it.Well now I am starting to think what is the point my life is living in pain.

I just getting to a place I can not handle this anymore. I am tired of being tired, I am tired of living in constant pain and headaches. I am tried of not getting sleep and up off and on all night. I will not spend the rest of my life on drugs laying around with no purpose. I was not born to with no purpose i have a purpose and pain and drugs is not my purpose.


Thanks of listening.

Jeanie