[eva5667faliure]

good day

well this is now over a week that pain has awakened me
somewhere in this time a night i couldn't sleep at all
my whole body is cry in pain
my neck, back, arms and the knees and down both feet
took a 4 mg muscle relaxer as my tense body is stiff
i finally made it to my pcp
sending me yet again to another pain specialist
for what is called a pain pump
he told me of a patient who suffers similar too myself
and said it has given back a life she had forgotten she lived
she was lucid and comfortable
i know my body better than any doctor
i told my pcp without a doubt second surgery
took most of my life from me
and that my surgeon is so arrogant and not
responsive to my calls and treats me as though like
my daughter heard him say to a nurse after my second
surgery how i was one of his most "problematic" patient
and even though he was called on his dung
only humbled him for awhile
i still haven't fused yet
all meds i am taking is just more than i would like
i can't take lyrica for fibromyalgia because of its side affects
therefore i just live with the constant tingles and scratchy
piercing deep pain of it surgeon won't hear any of that
let me remind those following my story its too is in my head
do i take all this and start with yet another neurosurgeon
going through all the test, oh jeez i'll NEVER forget the
discogram ever with all its complications
nuclear stress stress
two series of cirtizone shots in my back (unsuccessful)
3 conflicting ENT'S
the array of drugs and its reactions deadly that included patches
the umteen x-rays
cat scans
3 emg
mri's
the loss of hair
god the beautiful thick hair still falling out
the hardware plate, screws, cage cadaver bones
the violation (sexual) by transport employees
reported
hematomas that need draining several times
the cane and collars
JUST TO MENTION A COUPLE
my thyroglosscal cyst that has become active and grown
now a lump in my right breast
oh and horners syndrome after second surgery
what does one think
when left in worse status than before anything started
pain in the neck radiating down my right whole arm
numbing and tingling in fingers knees and feet
i'm like take me away
on my 3rd approved leave
and a lawyer telling me
you need to see a 2nd neurosurgeon to show and back me
on any wrong doing
im already good for almost nothing
can't cook my passion
can't drive
it hurts to take the elevator
enough
thank goodness for my shrink
and this forum
that humbles me
but damn it i want to sleep
need to return to work
i'm only 50 years young
i want to live
be able to get a hug without hurting
hold my beautiful new 1st grandchild eva
be able to share intimacy ya know
talk about depression
i'm sick sick sick of it
jeez the money made off me blows my mind EOB's
and to be left in such a state
yeh you could say i get angry
once in a while
could have been worse
typing away hurts but helps when i can vent
i apologize
i shut up and try going back to sleep
without nightmares
having quite a bit when i do get sleep
to all that need healing
may we give thanks
waiting for better days
thank you for letting me share
any input welcomed
so now we are talking pain pump
wishing all a better mood
and restful sleep

[eva5667faliure]

Originally Posted by eva5667faliure

good day

well this is now over a week that pain has awakened me
somewhere in this time a night i couldn't sleep at all
my whole body is crying in pain
my neck, back, arms and knees and down both feet
took a 4 mg muscle relaxer as my tense body is stiff
i finally made it to my pcp
sending me yet again to another pain specialist
for what is called a pain pump
he told me of a patient who suffers similar too myself
and said it has given back a life she had forgotten she lived
she was lucid and comfortable
i know my body better than any doctor
i told my pcp without a doubt second surgery
took most of my life from me
and that my surgeon is so arrogant and not
responsive to my calls and treats me as though i
were a kid my child heard him say to a nurse after my second
surgery how i was one of his most "problematic" patient
and even though he was called on his dung
only then humbled him for awhile
i still haven't fused yet
i have added problems (new)
all meds i am taking is just more than i would like
i can't take lyrica for fibromyalgia because of its side affects
therefore i just live with the constant tingles and scratchy
piercing deep pain of it surgeon won't hear any of that
let me remind those following my story
do i take all this and start with yet another neurosurgeon
going through all the test, oh jeez i'll NEVER forget the
discogram ever with all its complications
nuclear stress stress
two series of cirtizone shots in my back (unsuccessful)
3 conflicting ENT'S
the array of drugs and its reactions deadly that included patches
the umteen x-rays
cat scans
3 emg
mri's
the loss of hair
God the beautiful thick hair still falling out
the hardware plate, screws, cage cadaver bones
how long will the hardware last
the violation (sexual) by transport employees
reported
hematomas that need draining several times
sent home only for it to grow into
the size of a 1/2 grapefruit
right back to the hospital
drained it
called next day told him
needs to be drained
he said it will be fine
the cane and collars
JUST TO MENTION A COUPLE
my thyroglosscal cyst that has become active and grown
now a lump in my right breast
oh and horners syndrome after second surgery
what does one think
when left in worse status than before anything started
pain in the neck radiating down my right whole arm
numbing and tingling in fingers knees and feet
i'm like take me away
on my 2nd approved leave
and a lawyer telling me
you need to see a 2nd neurosurgeon to show and back me
on any wrong doing
i'm already good for almost nothing
can't cook my passion
can't drive
it hurts to take the elevator
enough
thank goodness for my shrink
and this forum
that humbles me
but damn it i want to sleep
need to return to work
i'm only 50 years young
i want to live
be able to get a hug without hurting
hold my beautiful new 1st grandchild eva
be able to share intimacy ya know
talk about depression
i'm sick sick sick of it
jeez the money made off me blows my mind EOB's
and to be left in such a state
yeh you could say i get angry
once in a while
could have been worse
typing away hurts but helps when i can vent
i apologize
i'll shut up and try going back to sleep
without nightmares
having quite a bit when i do get sleep
to all that need healing
may we give thanks
waiting for better days
thank you for letting me share
any input welcomed
so now we are talking pain pump
wishing all a better mood
and restful sleep

dear friends
not much has changed physically
learning how to operate manipulate
my body my head locks i can get
out of it
arms really BAD
especially right arm elbow and up
tearful pain
do not forget
that is on quite a bit of medicine
i have decided going to yet another
neuro and bone specialist
now more surgeries
finishing reconstruction
as i had a double mastectomy
after that i'm done
back to regular check-ups
dentist eye etc.


i usually focus on a blessing
and womens health
sub: breasts
check yourself

[cath1]

Hi Eva,

So very sorry you are still suffering so much. It breaks my heart to hear how much pain you are in.

I'm not on the forum much, my hand hurts so much to type, so I read, but have been limiting my posts.

Im having another surgery next week also, my arm and hand, it's called an ulnar nerve transposition. Same neurosurgeon who did my neck is performing it. I'm really hoping it helps with the pain and weakness. My neck is doing pretty good. I'm fused, and although I still get some pain and a achiness in my shoulders and traps it's really much better then it was. I'm on a low dose pain patch and that helps for the most part as long as I don't overdo things.

I wish you had the same results as me, life is just not fair sometimes. I don't know why we are dealt the hands we are, but you are a very strong person, and try to stay as positive as you can throughout your journey.

Hugs and prayers to you. Wishing you some good results and some much needed pain relief.

Take care,
Cathie

[eva5667faliure]

Originally Posted by cath1

Hi Eva,

So very sorry you are still suffering so much. It breaks my heart to hear how much pain you are in.

I'm not on the forum much, my hand hurts so much to type, so I read, but have been limiting my posts.

Im having another surgery next week also, my arm and hand, it's called an ulnar nerve transposition. Same neurosurgeon who did my neck is performing it. I'm really hoping it helps with the pain and weakness. My neck is doing pretty good. I'm fused, and although I still get some pain and a achiness in my shoulders and traps it's really much better then it was. I'm on a low dose pain patch and that helps for the most part as long as I don't overdo things.

I wish you had the same results as me, life is just not fair sometimes. I don't know why we are dealt the hands we are, but you are a very strong person, and try to stay as positive as you can throughout your journey.

Hugs and prayers to you. Wishing you some good results and some much needed pain relief.

Take care,
Cathie

hope all goes smooth
God Bless and quick
no problems healing

[ginnie]

You have every reason to feel as you do. I really am sorry you are suffering. After reading the post on all you have been through it makes me feel so helpless and sad for you....I really hope a pump can help. I know a lady who has one, I take it they are talking about a morphine pump. This does work for her. It is A Vets wife who has it. Her spine is terrible and she is bent over to a large degree. I hope that relief can be found, and that you get doctors that will help you to the best of their knowledge. It sound like some of the docs. you have had in the past, didn't serve you well at all. I will sincerely pray, that the right kind of help is found for you. I wish I had the right words to try and comfort you in such a bad situation. I also hope you don't have to go through any more tests that don't help you anyway. Do you have faith in your current doctor.? There are lots of medications to try too, maybe ones that won't have the side effects that are bad. You are always in my prayers Eva, I do care about you. ginnie

[eva5667faliure]

dear friends

i am sure by now
you could figure out
i am in a few areas posting
my original post started here
in this forum
i spend most my posting
on a sub forum pain pump
title: focus on blessings
a place where i began
looking into since
i have a doctor i have
not seen yet for a pain
pump
many things have happened
since finding this site
too me a gift
GOD is who i lean ON
i made a promise
i will post everyday and be
thankful for something in that day
all started by one very wise
person with strong FAITH
anyhow i am scared
it came out of nowhere
and is traveling
till i see a doctor
i come here and read
i have and continue
going to all kinds of doctors
last for skin cancer
i had my radical mastectomy
january 2012
it is a 7 year treatment
pill form chemo
that is not why i am here
i have continued to
rot as that is what it does
deteriorate is that better
i am now experiencing
at times piercing left side of
neck and radiates upper left back
arm weaker than usual
my body completely
different inside
meds are kicked in
hope i can accomplish
what i would like
i am sure i will
but at what expense
i wonder
i am frazzled
i dare not ask for serenity
to all who suffer i am
sure successful outcomes
are happening
i am trying
my best getting information
that is necessary making
decisions life altering
decisions
malinda is someone
i look forward hearing from
cat i hope your doing better
how did the surgery go
and what can you share
as the days go by
because having failed fusing
the first time
and then 2nd
not any better
actually worse
have to wait for spacers come out
then i can have test
april is one year
better yet doctor seems
to think by behavior
he is not concerned
he doesn't know himself
happy i responded
and called him on his poop
i will yet need to go
and pick up my records
that will be interesting
i am relentless
just spit out the truth
as if my Horners syndrome
is not by his hands
no one else was in there
so much for any respect
i had for him ALL GONE
to all
have a blessed day

[ginnie]

I too know what it is like to loose faith in a doctor. That makes these medical issues so much more difficult to deal with. I didn't know you had skin cancer as well. You need those specialists in your corner to help you. Please do not give up and just think there is no hope. Not all doctors are bad, and there may be another out there for you, who can instill hope and compassion. I wish I could help you Eva. I wish I was in your neck of the world, to be able to see you through some of these appointments and all. If you don't feel you are treated well enough, please go to another physician if you can. These doctors have our lives in their hands, our bodies in their care. They must remember their vows when they became doctors. Keep trying eva, to get all the help you need. My guardian angel is with Malinda, so I asked for an extra angel to visit you, and stick around you for awhile. I am sure he is there with you. ginnie

[eva5667faliure]

Originally Posted by ginnie

I too know what it is like to loose faith in a doctor. That makes these medical issues so much more difficult to deal with. I didn't know you had skin cancer as well. You need those specialists in your corner to help you. Please do not give up and just think there is no hope. Not all doctors are bad, and there may be another out there for you, who can instill hope and compassion. I wish I could help you Eva. I wish I was in your neck of the world, to be able to see you through some of these appointments and all. If you don't feel you are treated well enough, please go to another physician if you can. These doctors have our lives in their hands, our bodies in their care. They must remember their vows when they became doctors. Keep trying eva, to get all the help you need. My guardian angel is with Malinda, so I asked for an extra angel to visit you, and stick around you for awhile. I am sure he is there with you. ginnie

your the greatest
just left a little few
words on her back
here for you
lean on me if you need
ginnie i don't have skin
cancer but because
in the past i am always
the sun in summer
and have had a few
spots taken care of
and continue
preventative health
i go every 6 months
and she is also in the
same building as my oncologists
second office just by chance
i don't think so
love and hugs

[ginnie]

Thanks for that post. tomorrow I will call my PCP that knows me the best. I did have three docs. not do right by me. I am not trusting the current situation I am in. Not enough time was taken with me to dicuss this surgery the ankle specialist wants to do. Never show me my MRI. So I will go to my PCP get a little help with records, and get some emotional help as well. I know when I am over my head. I will get the help I need to go forward. You are in my prayers, and so many on NT. I ask for the same as I find out all the information I need to move in a better direction. ginnie

[ginnie]

This post was sent to me and I am responding in this way.
Psalm 30:2 Oh Lord My God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me

Before any phone calls, before I did one thing,this morning I asked for guidance from God in all that I do from now on. Tears are drying up, and the steps are being taken, to get things in order. My PCP fit me in this thrus. Bless him. He knows when I call, that I am in a pickle, and he listens. Have the new pain doc. on Wed. Will get my records.
I also decided to seek a lawyer. I did this with prayer. I was misdiagnosed, and left facing a wheelchair. That is the reason I sought out help to begin with. Before I confined myself to this, I had to make sure nothing else could be done. so I found out, that my diagnosis was wrong all along, and he did not do the tests he should have to spare me 7 years of agony. The tears are the reaction to anger. I talked to my pshchologist friend in Missouri this morning. He told me that doing nothing would not get me anywhere. Nobody deserves to be treated like a negleted dog, just because they are poor. I think I need to be heard in this. So I prayed and made a call. I expect to hear back sometime soon. Thank you for encouragement, I will lean on you. You are my friend and in my prayers too. I hope your pain is less today. I appreciate your caring about me. ginnie