So !

I had pretty bad days.... I felt pretty dark, blue, lonely... blew... I was feeling again ! that life was so unfair, and, blah, blah, blah.... was so disappointed... Today I started finally, after too much crying and pretty bad nights, to feel "fine" again... Big chocolate frapuccino helped

I want to thank you very much for checking on me You are very kind.

Koala !! loved the snoopy !!! i mean, I LOVE snoopy !! thanks !!!

Yay! ... thanks for telling us about the good times, too!

I'm glad that the chocolate drink helped you. They are expensive drinks. I love chocolate. I'm so glad that chocolate exists.

I hope that the rest of your day is peaceful. BF

No, seriously, what's this s**t.... ????

Im feeling terrible... TERRIBLE again... I managed to finnish my presentation for tuesday dont know hoe because my brain has been somewhere else... thinking about my pathetic existance... thinking about how unfair life is... thinking how lonely I am... Im tired... tired of feeling this way I mean...

I have been crying for everything... for nothing... I hate my life as I have said several times before... I dont see a single positivie thing on it... everything that was nice some day, now is over or it ended being something horrible...

Nothing is as I would like it to be...

I have nothing, I have nobody...

I hate the world and life so much.

I dont see the purpose on anything I do...

I feel angry... angry because I hate to live, I hate to need to go out, I hate to need to speak, to see, to wake up... Im angry because everything is a problem for me... because everything is dark to my eyes...

Im so tired of this nasty circles... Im fine 1 day, but Im bad the other 364 days of the year...

I dont enjoy anything... everything scares me... and, I... to be honest, I... think I have fought a lot... I have put too much effort in... many things and, at the end, nothing was like I wanted to or... everything went to waste... with my effort on it...

Oh dear... how horrendous...

Your existance was created by God. He see's you as the apple of his eye. Your achievements are wonderful,and your heart is upright.

Things have a way of working out as you live one day at a time. Try to put your burdens in the Lords hands.

Remember Isaiah 41:10. I've been going to that verse for years. That verse helps me with my fears.

He will give you power when you are faint,and He will strengthen you with power in your inner being.

Life is very hard at times,but not all of the time. To everything there is a season,and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Eccl.3:1 BF

Blue,

"I dont see a single positivie thing on it... "
It is the litle things in life that make it all worth while. Tell me Chocolate is is not a little happyness?

I bunch of little negitive things can get us down. A bunch of little positive things can also bring us up too. Key is MODERATION. 50lb of chocolate will not cure all.

""I have put too much effort in... many things and, at the end, nothing was like I wanted to or... everything went to waste... with my effort on it... "

How do you ever know till you try? If you want something, you have to try to get it. May not be perfect, but it was better than nothing. Or you may succeed! Or mabe you tried and it was a bust. If you never try, you will NEVER possibly get what you want. Can't let the thought of failure guide you in what you want.

I have had many failed projects (personal or work) that I had invested much time and money in. I used as a learning experiance as not to repeat the same mistakes. Equipment ruined is proportinal to knowledge gained. Yea, I ruined a few things. I also was able to have some projects finish with much better results and more then worth the risk.

What do you have planned to look forward to?
[I need to get some painting done and still hurt from Thursday, my reward is Caraboo coffee]

"50lb of chocolate will not cure all
But it sure can help.
Look at me .... in the past 12 months I've gained almost 60 lb.

I'm sorry you're still feeling blue, Blue.

Sometimes I think you and I must be sharing part of the same soul, because you always seem to be feeling exactly the same things that I am. As soon as I find a cure for all of our problems, I'll be sure to tell you what it is, then we can both fell happy at the same time too.

Take whatever happiness you can, wherever you can find it, as often as you can. And remember that even if you feel alone, you can always come here to talk about it, and even if we can't make the hurting stop, we can still share it with you and make it a little more bareable.

I know it's hard, (trust me I do know), but try to hang in there. One day these feelings will just be a bad memory, a bad dream...

We'll get through this some how.

Love you

(((((Steve)))))

Those were pretty strong verses... Very powerful ! Thanks for them !! I pasted them in my desk... They made me feel way better...

Im still struggling... Been crying A LOT my head, face and eyes hurt like hell... Everything makes me cry and wonder...

Ive thinking when I was a little child A LOT... and, dont know.. Im pretty nostalgic...

Ive been in a bad mood at the same time... like... I dont trust in anybody... I dont want to go out.. I dont have motivation...

And, all the things I have told you thousand of times since I found these forums... I feel guilty, I miss my past, I want to form a family, I want... I... you know...

I feel tired and lonely too.

(((((Thelonely)))) Bad dream... yes please !!! I dream with that... Every night, I close my eyes and imagine I have my love/ideal man by my side and, that he tells me that everythng is gonna be alright... and, I wake up the next day and I feel loved and happy... Oh, but THAT's the dream !!! The truth is I feel miserable every morning when I wake up...

I pray that you are right, and, in the future, we will remember this as a nightmare and will even laugh...

Love ya !

Anybody here ?? Im feeling.... weird... and, just need a hug...