[thelonely1]

What do you do when you're all alone and desperately lonely, yet when there are people around you'd like nothing better then to get away from them?

What do you do when you can't bear the thought of living so depressed, but can't think of a single thing that can bring you joy?

What do you do when you ache for someone to talk to, yet in the presence of others you can't find any words to speak?

What do you do when the expression of happiness from others makes your own world seem darker?

What do you do when each day you wake up and are disappointed to find that you're still alive?

What do you do when it hurts so bad on the inside that physical pain feels good?

What do you do if you have forgotten what it feels like to be happy?

What do you do if you can't remember ever being happy?

What do you do when you've lost the will to live?

[Alffe]

A Reason to Live is a practical handbook for people who may be struggling to find a way, or a reason, to live.
It's for people who don't want to be here.
It's for people who don't consider suicide an option but wish they were dead.
It's for people considering suicide as an option and wondering if they should stick around.
It's for people who don't want to kill themselves but get trapped in suicidal thinking, or attempts, anyway.
And it's for people who want to kill themselves but wish someone could give them a reason to live.
It's also for people trying to help someone else - someone they know, love, or care about - a reason not to die and hope for life.

The book is a collection of articles written by authors across the nation. Some of these authors are professionals who counsel or help people haunted by the idea of suicide; some are people who have grappled with the idea personally. The alternatives to suicide are ideas that have worked either for them, or for people they know, or for their clients.

The reasons to live come from their hearts.

The author is Melody Beattie

***************

It's in paperback Lonely1 and I hope you won't reject it instantly.

[Addy]

Lonely1...

What Alffe said!

[DMACK]

lonelyone

What do you do when you're all alone and desperately lonely, yet when there are people around you'd like nothing better then to get away from them? [ take a break away from people out of choice , but sometimes talk to strangers, as they offer the best advice because they have nothing to gain or lose.]
What do you do when you can't bear the thought of living so depressed, but can't think of a single thing that can bring you joy? [ lonelyone dig deep into your soul and remember what has made you happy, and constantly try to recreate this feeling]
What do you do when you ache for someone to talk to, yet in the presence of others you can't find any words to speak? [say nothing & just smile, the conversation will come to you]
What do you do when the expression of happiness from others makes your own world seem darker? [hang out with those people, they will teach you happiness, and brighten your world ]
What do you do when each day you wake up and are disappointed to find that you're still alive? [Sleep that night, and extinguish all self for- filling prophecy LIKE ‘tomorrows going to be a bad day’= OR it probably will be
What do you do when it hurts so bad on the inside that physical pain feels good? [ Have years of physical pain that excruciatingly hurts , and pray to GOD your glad inside you don’t feel the pain inside]

What do you do if you have forgotten what it feels like to be happy? [remind yourself how it feels when your sad]What do you do if you can't remember ever being happy? [ ASK YOURSELF WHAT CAN I DO TO CHANGE THIS?]What do you do when you've lost the will to live? [ Write a living will....to survive]
__________________~ Lonely1

[Koala77]

Please know Lonely1, that whenever you're awake in the dead of night..... I'm often just a click away!
I can't promise always, but often sums it up nicely.

No-one should ever feel alone... especially when that "one" is sad, or having issues that are much too hard to deal with, or they just want to be heard, if just for a little while.

Typing HELLO, or anything else for that matter, then clicking, thumping or just simply gliding over the Enter Key ..... when you're tuned into the Sleepless at SOS thread..... will usually bring me out of hibernation if I'm around, and don't forget that "my around" is mostly when others are in the Land of Slumber.

I say usually because .... I get an email whenever some-one posts to the Sleepless thread. When that comes through I'm alerted that some-one is looking for some company.

I will always respond if I'm online, although if I'm having dinner (say) you may need to be patient for a while!

I will turn up eventually!

[thelonely1]

Thank you all for responding to me. Sorry I haven't said anything for a while. I feel kind of embarrassed that once again I've writen the same thing, and once again I'll have the hardest time making myself follow your advice... and I can't seem to convince myself that my life is worth all the effort. I can't even find enjoyment in anything, nothing is worth the effort of doing anything. What's the point of living without joy? How could you possibly find happiness without being able to enjoy life, without even being able to pass the time?

My roommates have officially moved away. That's kind of a good thing, because now I don't have the stress of having to deal with them. On the other hand, now I have nowhere to live, and the number of people who I know has dropped to zero.

Anyway this is all just pointless rambling and ranting. I'm sorry I can't be a more positive thinker, I know it's annoying to listen to, after all, that's why I can't get close to anyone unless I were to lie about how I feel all the time.

Thanks again for trying.

[waves]

Originally Posted by thelonely1

What do you do when you're all alone and desperately lonely, yet when there are people around you'd like nothing better then to get away from them?

What do you do when you can't bear the thought of living so depressed, but can't think of a single thing that can bring you joy?

What do you do when you ache for someone to talk to, yet in the presence of others you can't find any words to speak?

What do you do when the expression of happiness from others makes your own world seem darker?

What do you do when each day you wake up and are disappointed to find that you're still alive?

What do you do when it hurts so bad on the inside that physical pain feels good?

What do you do if you have forgotten what it feels like to be happy?

What do you do if you can't remember ever being happy?

What do you do when you've lost the will to live?

Dear Lonelyone,

very articulate.

except for the physical pain one (i dread pain of any kind)...
all the other points, i could have written....
every single one...

bing bing bing

bing-go.

yes, depression is an illness. three cheers for antidepressants... if only they would hurry up and WORK though... no telling when, or to what extent... sigh.

i may try to get that book too.

~ waves ~

[waves]

Dear Lonelyone

having now read the rest of the thread...

i agree that maybe you just haven't found what your interests are. people can be awfully unkind. the fact that you dropped out of college and choose not to return doesn't make you a second citizen. but i know what you mean. i am afraid of showing one of my transcripts for how many Fs it has on it. they don't really speak for my ability, but it doesn't matter... i can't stand the look on people's faces...

and i do, btw, find you very articulate. maybe when you speak the shyness causes things to get jumbled. but you do write expressive posts. one day who knows... perhaps you could publish something... not to put pressure on you now.

Lisa, thank you for your post - it is comforting to know one can figure oneself out in one's late forties.

~ waves ~

[thelonely1]

Thank you for the words Waves. I know there are always a lot of people here who feel the same things I do, but it's always nice to be reminded, especially since depression tends to make me forget things like that.

[DMACK]

Lonelyone


I have been thinking.............would you say your extremely shy ..in so much that you physicaly find it hard to hold a conversation?

if yes there is a condition called Selective Mutism, usualy found in children but some continue into adulthood...[it is a known condition and with therapy curable]


if at present you find it hard to convey your life to a doctor.........say for 3 months give this ago and see if you feel any different.
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/food/news/...1110-1,00.html
this is just one site but there are many 'MOOD FOR FOOD' sites.......some list full daily diet plans that incorporate all foods for a balanced diet and healthy mind..........[i am looking for the link i used at work 6 years ago to develop a diet for clients....but cant find it but will keep searching]

then there is cognative behaviour therapy............you could even do it on line......[some charge....but it could be worth it].............it helps indiviuals look at life from the here and now....and clarify positive and negative thinking....and put it into factual rationalisation]

i tried this in my earlier reply to you.

CBT makes you see things clearly and helps your brain recognise signals and then transmits the way you respond ...rationaly......

for example and i quote " Inevitably someone notices me sitting awkwardly, so they try to fix it by asking me about myself. Then I have to watch them become less interested in me as they find out how boring and pointless my life is."


CBT would teach you to imagine the other persons response to you...lets say i am the person you describe above.
i might say to myself
" I wonder why that guy is quiet, i wonder if he is like me, shy?...maybe i will go over and say hi" half way through our conversation i may say to myself " he is still not saying a lot, maybe he does not like me...i will be polite and move around the group...i hope i havent bored him with my life'

CBT could teach you to act and not react.....at no point is our perception of others 100% correct its just how our brain transmitts what we see and hear into a feeling.......the feelings we recieve react to our emotions........... and our emotions then...interpert how to react....[often by what we have learned as children]


if someone in the past said your boring once and then a hundred times......the chances are you ...then believe every rebutle from human contact be associated with you thinking...that person thinks your boring......

CBT is about training your mind to alter an emotional stimulant............... and think objectively before responding.

i am going on a bit now so i will go.....i just thought you may want to look at all your options, ..................a daily diary including all you eat and drink aswell may help a health professional recognise your dilema..


David

just trying to help