This time of year can ...for some be a devestaing time of year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This is an invatation to vent your spleen [so to speak]


Rather than feel...think...percieve...imagine...
.ASK QUESTIONS= SEEK ANSWERS


If this hoilday period is getting you down...................tell us/me about it!


I WANT TO HELP


David

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nut5nQ-EMIE


Have any of us truly found what we are looking for?

David

I have to wonder how many of us know what we are looking for...how many of us are just putting in the required time, in spite of the effort it takes, until we can finally go home.

I wonder if I can leave hugs for the room.

A nice warm spot to vent, what a wonderful idea! I truely hate this time of year as it brings memories of "what could have been" along with large blank spots thanks to ECT treatments during a terrible time in my life. I seem to reagress with my depression as this time of year hits, my therapist and P-doc, tend to increase the frequency of my visits, check-ups, text messages and calls to check on me. Not welcome for the part of me that just wants to be left alone with me, myself and I. I am sure that in the big picture it is for my own well being. Today I find that I am alone in my home, the little one was abducted by her so called father last evening, thanks to the "monster in law". I have my hospice kitty here, changing my TV chanels (she kneeds the remote) my puppy is on the floor readjusting one of my older shoes and my family is all out working on the ranch feeding cows, etc. I have much to do by the looks of my home but I have no energy to do the things I have to do. I have taken my meds like a good nurse, but......
Lately I have also developed what I think is a spread of my RSD after 12 years....I have the familiar burn on my right foot. It is following a pattern that I dread, feels cold then feels like it has been put in the wood stove... I need to call my PM doc, however he has told me on multiple occasions that he has never seen a true spread. I have reported my internet findings, including those from Medscape. For the most part he asks for my input and my opinion of the research that I do on different models of SCS and different company support. But in this he does not seem to budge.
Well enough of my gloom, dispair and angony

LOL about the kneading kitty and the busy puppy...TG for our pets. Not laughing at your dr. ignoring your imput about the RSD spreading...you are a nurse!!..He should do a little research himself!

...and Alffe , you sure struck a chord in my heart...when you said that of 'putting in the required time'. I feel that way MUCH of the time.

....Pooh , I share in your 'pain'.... that 'silent' pain that doesn't 'show'.
My situation isn't looking good either, and it's something I suffer alone. It certainly doesn't do any good to talk about it to family, as they're 'aware' of my medical situation....there AREN'T any answers. Like most people on this forum, it's that 'Pain Life' that we live with. I've become imprisoned with it by putting up walls to keep others 'out'....so they don't have to hear the broken record. It's a circle of madness

I spent the 2 days after Christmas Eve in BED. For no particular reason , other than perhaps a bit of exhaustion of all the running around I did in preparation to give my family the nicest Christmas Eve that I could and to spend that time with my 1st Grandson on his 1st Christmas. Then it was over. Done.
I wasn't 'sick'....I just didn't want to talk to anybody and my own body was crying out in pain......I guess I just want to be left 'alone' when I'm feeling like that...because it's something I have to work out in my own mind.
I'm always encouraging other people who battle depression to NOT 'isololate' themselves....yet, that's the very thing that I do!
I see that my family is self-sufficient without me. So, I shut the doors in my room and let life go on.......and then, when I'm rested up and able to get out and "Put in my required time...", I come out from 'hiding' and do as much as I can....that stuff that only 'mom' can do .....and then the circle starts all over again......

......Good LORD ....I fell asleep as I typed this! I started this post 45 minutes ago! See, I don't 'know' what is 'wrong' with me.
I guess it would behoove me to see a therapist.....!

Anyway,....thank you. And YES, the water was nice and warm
I needed to get this out.

Rae