Hi, everybody:

After a long absence caused by various illnesses and injuries, with no access to a computer with Internet, I want to thank all of you who responded to my post about my suicidal thoughts. Thinking about suicide, there are days when I want to live and days when I want to die, even though I love being alive and fear death, especially since my 2001 pedestrian vs. auto accident and since my parents are getting old. I know everybody has to die one day, but it does not make it easier to accept. There is not a day that goes by without my thinking about all the love, kindness, compassion... you showed to me. I will always remember this.

My thyroid problems are getting worse. The only doctor willing to prescribe some levothyroxine for me (my primary care physician) repeated and repeated to me he would not prescribe a higher dosage of levothyroxine for me just because the thyroid tests came back normal. It does not matter to him that I have had abnormal thyroid tests before, that I have all the symptoms of Hashimoto's hypothyroidism. What is next? Thyroid cancer and a coffin for me? I showed my doctor articles pulled from some Internet medical web sites saying that thyroid tests results are not always accurate because of different reasons and that thyroid symptoms should be considered more important than thyroid tests results. After all, it is a person's life and well-being we are talking about here. I am sure there are other people in my situation, probably not in the U.S. because patients are treated better there, but elsewhere in the world. I would so much like to order some levothyroxine (50 mcg tablets instead of the 25 mcg tablets I now have) on the Internet, from an American company, willing to send them to Tahiti just for me and because of my very bad situation (thanks to them for their kindness and compassion), but the customs in Tahiti will seize the medication and I am afraid my primary care doctor will find out about my Internet order and "eject" me as his patient. I forgot to mention that the 25 mcg tablets I have been taking for two months now still have not taken effect and made me feel better. This is why I decided to stop taking them. Why take something that does not help me? In the box of levothyroxine, there is a paper notice mentioning that the medication should work in no more than a month after starting to take it. For me, it has been two months and still no effect. Like I just said, my doctor dismissed me and NO one else will help me.

Besides my Hashimoto's hypothyroidism, I also have to deal with my generalized internal chronic RSD, the intense pain that sometimes comes with it despite the painkillers, my epilepsy, my asthma, my daily fatigue and headaches, and now back pain just got added to the long list of my health conditions. Usually, when I have back pain, it just lasts a day or two at the most. This time, my back pain has been there for over a week. When I went to see my primary care doctor (he was gone for vacations, so another doctor was replacing him), the new doctor told me he thought I might have a broken back. WHAT!!! A broken back! I do not think so! If I had a broken back, I could not walk and I would be paralyzed. Anyways, those are all my problems.

I also want to tell you that not a single day goes by without my thinking about you and all the good you do for other people, including me. I can only thank you for that. Billions of thanks again. You are invaluable.

I sure hate hearing how tuff it has been for you. I really wish your doctors would consider what you say more and be a little more compassionate. I would get my back checked out with x-ray or MRI if the pain continues in that direction. With your RSD are your allowed pain killers? I don't know alot about thyroid problems, only that I am loaded with nodes, that so far have not choked me or caused any problems. I am sorry your thyroid presents so many problems. In your counrty is there a specialist anywhere that can address this problem more? It sounds like you are very uncomfortable, and I sure hope you can find another opinion. That alone would help you not to feel so despondant. You do need a PCP that will have more empathy with your situation. I would also try to find an on line source of information about the thyroid and continue to show your research to your current physician. If you are showing that many symptoms of thyroid problems, I would not give up until I found a physician that would listen. I don't know what is available in your country. I wish that I could send you relief by e-mail. I wish I had some magic that would make it better for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. don't give up. ginnie

Hi Kitty...thanks for checking in..wish you had better news and were feeling some better. How's your little boy?

Kitty, Not sure I mentioned this to you previously. I am hypothroid and take Synthroid. Originally, I was taking the generic you are taking . I had read on the internet an article about NOT taking a generic for Hypothroid. Only Synthroid should be used because the generic does not measure up to the Synthroid.

I have my blood tested every 4 -5 months for my thyroid. The doctor was going to increase my dose because my test indicated a higher dose was needed. I asked him to check the box on the prescription that DO Not Substitute and let's see if the same dose with the Synthroid would make a difference. After taking the Synthroid for 3 months, he had me take another blood test. Same dose; but not a generic, my throid was within range. Ask your doctor to prescribe the Synthroid instead of the generic and even if you are taking the same dose - It Does Make a Difference. This meant that the Synthroid was actually giving more of the needed hormones than the same mg's of a generic.

kitty, just a warning that there are lots of web sites written by doctors that do not have the best reputation. it is very easy to mistake hyper thyroid for hypothyroid too. i recommend you read the book by kenneth ains. it is very difficult to sift through this stuff. synthroid is the med of choice if you want an accurate dose and its important to get it reliably where it has not been stored at too high a temperature or shipped at a high temperature. keep your chin up as this will help you heal too.

it also takes something like 6 weeks on a new dose before you can get tested too see if that's the right dose. there is also controversy on what is the correct levels in the blood test. if you feel like you need more this would be a good area to research.

you sound better and i am glad of that.