So I have stopped pushing and asking how she is doing. Its like pulling teeth, she is not being forth coming and I'm tired of trying to get info from her.

I am here and I will listen but I'm done babying her.

She mopes around the house only concerned with herself, wanting attention. She is like a black hole sucking all the energy as she follows me from room to room.

I am trying to ignore it and not comment because I feel it feeds her attention getting motives.

What do you think? am I being too harsh? will this make it worse?

I just don't know what to do but I can't be responsible for keeping her in a good mood and validating her all the time!

Hi there. I meant to reply on your other thread here at SOS but unfortunately didn't get around to it.

What do I think?

I think that when people are really seriously depressed that they go into a bubble. I remember the first day when you posted in TBI and I was thinking the same thing that day.

What she did appeared selfish and self-centered but I kept thinking if she's in that deep of a hole then she's in a state where she's not thinking of consequences.

She wasn't thinking of you. She wasn't thinking of her family. She wasn't seeing her bright future. She wasn't thinking about any wonderful and amazing experiences she's been through or about those to come. She wasn't really thinking in a rational manner at the time.

Basically, she was so far down in that hole that the only thing consuming her was herself and not knowing whether to live or to die. I think that she was/is so depressed it's a little like self-preservation rather than being self-centered.

Heck, I don't know your situation apart from what you've told us here and in TBI/PCS so maybe I'm totally wrong. I just figure if she took your pills in your home environment then she didn't really "think" about any consequences at all!

Sounds to me as if she's still seriously depressed and she's not going to get any better unless she gets help from professionals who are trained to help people going through such difficult times. You are her friend, and you've been a wonderful friend to her by the sound of it. You're not trained to help her. You're not there to babysit.

I remember that your friend had someone from her church call on her. I remember she had family coming the next day. I wonder if her family and her counsellor from church are still coming to see her or talking to her via phone or internet or whatever?

The situation as you're describing here sends a message that your friend is still in dire trouble and she really needs to be advised by someone other than yourself. You live with her. You have your own situations to deal with.

I don't think you're being harsh at all. You're being honest. I just think that the only people who can help her are really people outside of your shared home. Home should be a safe place. It should be filled with honesty. As long as your friend is so depressed, it's not going to feel safe and by the sound of it she's not opening up in an honest way about her feelings and if she's really seriously depressed then that's natural as she's probably still really scared.

I'm not there so I'm just going on what I've followed since your first post back on TBI but if she's not usually a manipulative and horrible person to live with, then the alternative is that she's still really and truly seriously and dangerously depressed and as long as she feels safe there to stay in her bubble in that environment and not dealing with her feelings and her desperate sadness, then the longer it's going to take her to heal and to find her old self again if that is possible. Her family or her church counsellor or anyone else should be talking to her and taking over the reigns from you. You're the one in the face to face environment, they are not.

gosh, difficult situation you find yourself in...

I totally agree with all you said Lara...it is time for her family to intervene and get professional hands on.

Mbrook you have done all you can to help her and this isn't fair. Depression is a beast. Perhaps she needs to be hospitalized.