I thought I was done asking why our Michael would kill himself because I accepted that I'd never know for sure.

A portion of something Bizi posted resonnated with me and Michael jumped into mind.

"Dr. Ted Zeff, author of The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide, points out that other cultures, such as Thailand, have different attitudes, with a strong appreciation of sensitive or introverted people.
Jenna Avery, a “life coach for sensitive souls,” counsels people to accept or even pursue being “out of sync” with mainstream society, and be aware of other’s judgments of people as too sensitive, too emotional, or too dramatic.
And if we are sensitive, we may use those kinds of judgments against ourselves, and think, as Winona Ryder said she did at one time, “Maybe I’m too sensitive for this world.”
Certainly, there are extremes of emotions that are considered mood disorders, for example, and should be dealt with as a health challenge.
But “too emotional” or “too sensitive” are usually criticisms based on majority behavior and standards.
Overall, I think being highly sensitive is a trait we can embrace and use to be more creative and aware. But it demands taking care to live strategically, even outside popular values, to avoid overwhelm so we can better nurture our abilities and creative talents."

We always said he was too sensitive for this world.

Dear, dear Ms. Alffe. I think of you often as I still go to see my therapist. We've discussed my suicidal ideation a LOT. I've thought about it ... a lot. I'm so grateful I have her to talk with. What you just posted has so much merit.

I was going to say a bunch, but now I think I won't. I feel so badly for people who become so overwhelmed they take their own lives.

Even with my impending new grandma-dom, I am still fighting that monster depression, and even as recently as yesterday, had the thought of ending it all. It filled me with guilt. But I have no plan, I promise.

I don't know if I'm highly sensitive. I know I'm too hard on myself...something I work on the best I can.

Again, I'm going to shut up. I think this synthroid medication is making me crazzzzzyyyyyy!

Please don't shut up dear lady...this is the place to talk about it.
It being the beast of depression where one is constantly fighting for their very life. I know you Doody and I know you would never leave that awful legacy for your loved ones but that doesn't make the fight any easier. You know that the "lure" of peace is a lie...it is just such a struggle sometimes to know that one more day will be like yesterday again. And that elusive thing called HOPE needs to show up more often. ~sigh

Now I need to go find that post about the Journey of Life..or maybe it's in one of my books. Anyway...know that you are loved!!

Thank you Ms. Alffe. LOL my hands are sweating because I'm not sure how to say this...I'm thinking...

Scratching my head, still thinking....

Crap.

I think I understand how people come to take their own lives without thinking of the consequences of the loved ones they are leaving behind. Their 'pain', whatever that may be, is just so strong they just don't want to be anymore.

Maybe what I'm trying to say is knowing you, I'm sure Michael loved you very much.

Now I give up because my brain can't make the words for what I'm thinking.

Alffee

Doody

A wonderful person on this forum sent me this 18 months ago.............

Have you ever read about HSP's? I have been investigating this theory some over the last year or so. And I have to tell you that I think it is real, and could really help some people. I also feel very strongly that you fall into this group of people. I subscribed to an online newsletter for a group of these people and the last one had an article that I thought you should really read. I would also imagine that in your line of work you deal with these types as well. I have the link on my phone and will give you something to, hopefully, allow you to look it up. The lady's name is Elaine Aron, and she is also an author. The August 2010 newsletter has an article in it titled, "Healing the Highly Sensitive Male," by Ted Zeff, Ph.D. I think it is worth looking into. I hope this is enough information for you to find it. If I had your e-mail I could just forward it to you from my iphone. Let me know if you have any luck with it.
There is so much more I would like to say, but, I imagine this is already long enough. I hope to write again soon, and share more with you. Try to stay strong my friend. There is a great purpose to your life, please try not to ever forget that.


there is much truth in HS [male or female]............some folk walk around and have skin like crocodiles.....nothing gets in............some possibly???? like me have skin that thin..........the world gets in.............. bruising easily is a common trait..........

maybe our search is for just that..............not death by our own hand but just for a thicker skin.???????????

David

here you go...

Healing the highly sensitive male
August 2010: Comfort Zone ONLINE
Healing the Highly Sensitive Male
by Ted Zeff, Ph.D.

Its rather odd really...when its out there in print, written by a respected professional........it is cool to be a HSM

when in truth its not easy............why? because 90% of the population will never read the respected print...............therefore it will be unknown as a personal trait.......

because like other taboo subjects.......no one will talk about it......

Would i tell those around me i see this trait in myself.........[no not in so many words]

Why?....because [here goes stereotyping in full throttle] im 6'2 nearly 18 stone........a voice deeper than most..........a five o'clock shadow is constant....etc..............

to the external world im a big bloke.........

yet i'm sensitive.........is it a crime..........[not to me...i actually pity those around me who don't see things like i do with the compassion that i do.....i see others as hard-nosed...thick skinned....bordering on heartless................]

i have learned to avoid these types of people........unfortunately many close family and friends fit in this category..... that's difficult...........

when you love people...and cringe when they comment on issues that you feel strongly about, it is difficult to explain to them that your hurt and why.................to save your self from implosion you just switch off from that person until you can tolerate them until the next time....................hard blooming work believe me

.David....

"when you love people...and cringe when they comment on issues that you feel strongly about, it is difficult to explain to them that your hurt and why.................to save your self from implosion you just switch off from that person until you can tolerate them until the next time....................hard blooming work believe me"

And when you do explain it to them, and they don't hear you, or it makes no difference in how they relate to you...those for me are toxic people.

Oh yes, I believe you.

It is hard work. I know, believe me.
I think it's like everything I've ever come across, it's about balance.

David I sent you this earlier but I'll post it here again.
I think this little article is absolutely brilliant.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...hly-sensitive/

5 Gifts of Being Highly Sensitive
By Therese J. Borchard

Different source but same words as Alffe posted.

This all reminds me a little of my mindset about young children with different conditions... autism, tourette's syndrome, anxiety/ocd etc.. It's always been my belief that everyone should look for the positive qualities in a child and then reinforce those positives. The difficulty is that a lot of people in the world don't "see" and as alffe just wrote, they don't hear either and therefore they just don'g get it.