[mbrook]

I woke upand my roommate acting weird and not talking. I asked if she over slept and missed her IOP apt. she said she had a bad night and the shuttle was coming for her.

She ran out of the house without saying good by and didn't text or callto let me know she had checked in or was ok. Nothing!!!

She will be in all weekend- she didn't want to go to Easter dinner with family, sooooo...... now she doesn't have to.

[Lara]

Wow, this has been such a roller-coaster ride. I hope she gets some help where ever she is at the moment.

I hope YOU are OK there during all these ups and downs with your friend. ugh

I don't mean to sound awful but I think under the circumstances you've been dealing with the past few months, there's going to have to come a time when you lay down the line with your friend as difficult as that may be. It might save her and it might save you. There's going to have to come a time when she either gets adequate medical help or it's time to separate. You just can't keep doing this and she can't keep living like this. You're not her parent. She has parents. You're her friend and flatmate and have been terribly patient. Such a difficult situation.

[Alffe]

I completely agree with Lara...it's time to make other living arrangements for both of your sakes.

[Dejibo]

I whole heart-idly agree! if a grown woman has reached the point that she would rather not speak a single word to you, and climb onto a bus that leads to being committed for easter weekend without the courtesy of saying "I dont feel good, leave me alone" or "im going away, please feed the cat" then its time to find higher ground.

its really hard to take care or parent someone who doesnt want to be parented. As they say, you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him drink. What they dont tell you about that picture is how much energy and soul sucking it takes for the rider of that horse to get it to the stream. Please, take this time to step back and realize what YOU need to go forward. Realize what YOU need to make YOUR life better, and take this chance to go get it. Have a home without the stress, guilt, fear, or manipulations. Have a place to come home to where YOU can work on YOU. where YOU can heal YOUR wounds.

Im sorry it had to end this way, but perhaps a new beginning for both of you is just what the doctor ordered.

[mbrook]

So it turns out that she had attempted suicide before many years ago.

I feel like I've been lied to and decieved for years. Had I had known this I don't think Iwould have moved in with her.

As far as we know she will be coming home onMonday - my birthday. I am dreading it!!

[Alffe]

Originally Posted by mbrook

So it turns out that she had attempted suicide before many years ago.

I feel like I've been lied to and decieved for years. Had I had known this I don't think Iwould have moved in with her.

As far as we know she will be coming home onMonday - my birthday. I am dreading it!!

Please take this in the spirit it is intended MBrook....it isn't about YOU unless you make it about you. She is ill and needs help...depression is an illness and not something to be angry about. You tried to help her which is better for her than getting mad at her...but instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, you need to take care of yourself....move out.

[Doody]

I've said it before as well, and will say it again...as the other kind folks have...you need to find different living arrangements, most especially for you.

Again, I understand where both of you are coming from. And she has hopelessly gone down the tubes...reached bottom...and she needs help. And YOU are not responsible for that.

What about your parents...and her parents? I would start there and let them know how difficult it is for you...that you, yourself, are still dealing with your own problems and recovery.

Did I tell you about my best friend...of 46 years? She has Borderline Personality Disorder. Her craziness is what attracted me in our teen years, I suppose. We became the best of friends. But in the past decade there were so many issues with her that dragged me down...down...down...and down! And then, just a couple of years ago, something happened with her that was too insulting for me to deal with. Especially in the depressive state I struggle with from day to day.

I couldn't take it and started ignoring her phone calls. Which wasn't difficult to do. People with BPD are extremely difficult to deal with and always feel like everyone else is responsible for every single teeny tiny thing that happens to them. And even though SHE was responsible for the final blow (among many other blows) she never, ever thought that she WAS the responsible person. It was always my or someone's else's fault that she was having her exaggerated problems.

Anyway, my best friend. I haven't seen her since that horrible explosion she had. It was just too much. One of the hardest things I've done. And I do miss her...we have so much history. BUT I don't miss the daily tribulations with her.

In other words, sweetie, you need to do what is best for you. The confines of your living arrangement are too difficult and most likely won't result in the best outcome for either of you.

[Doody]

Oh and by the way...Happy Birthday! I hope everything is going well for you today!

Do keep us updated.

[Addy]

Originally Posted by Doody

I

Did I tell you about my best friend...of 46 years? She has Borderline Personality Disorder. Her craziness is what attracted me in our teen years, I suppose. We became the best of friends. But in the past decade there were so many issues with her that dragged me down...down...down...and down! And then, just a couple of years ago, something happened with her that was too insulting for me to deal with. Especially in the depressive state I struggle with from day to day.

Oh my goodness... the things I learn here! Doody, I have recently chosen to make myself scarce from a long-time friendship. I knew it was coming but kept allowing her to pull me down with her toxicity... it was brutal - so much that I didn't enjoy going to sing anymore! I drove to rehearsal with her and started making every excuse to drive on my own - even when I could hardly afford the gas!! My healthy energies were spent trying to help her see the glass half full rather than empty. So draining... sigh... but... we can only live for ourselves... we can only change ourselves... so I made a choice... and wow, what a difference it has made to me! Hold onto your happy memories of your friendship (((Doody)))... that's what I do... we still talk but I often don't answer the phone or call her up as I used to. Weaned her slowly

Good luck to you with your choices, ((((((mbrook))))). You will look back at all of this, one day, and know it has been one of life's great lessons. Your friend is very ill and I wish her well.

xo Addy