My acceptance of what I couldn't change, or understand, was a long time coming. Please be kinder to yourself dear friend.

Yes that guilty feeling. Wow. More later. Mom keeps asking why I am typing. Need to stay present. My thoughts are with those watching a person dying. Whether that person chooses treatment or no treatment. Tough.

My dear friend finally died last night. We are going down for her funeral..leave Monday, probably home Tues. night. Am so anxious to get my arms around her children and learn how traumatized they are by what they have gone through...hard enough to lose your mom under the best of circumstances...this was imho, the worst. Two of our daughters will go with us....they grew up together and that will help.

((((((((((((((Alfeemom ))))))))))))))))))
you know we have chatted on f.b. . but not here so much. so yeah my best long time friend since middle school had Alzheimer she was dx with it a couple years ago . I promised to keep a secret plan and I kept it. and will forever. tomorrow will be 1 month since she committed suicide . She was 44 one year younger then I . this is really hard to do or get threw for me right now .
Please know and believe I am praying for you and all those your dear friend left behind I believe your friend is free and in a much better peaceful heavenly place.
Love you Alffe
PEACE
BMW

That is really early onset Alzheimers... You are the best friend a person could have...she knew who to trust. Please do not feel any guilt about this secret. It is just so wrong that we cannot make those decisions for ourselves. That is has to be a secret.

I do NOT feel quilt about that. honestly I feel like dancing that she didnt let the illness cage her and torture her and ALL those around her . She moved back home 8 months ago to help her mom with her dad who has Alzheimer also only further along then she was . I am very hmmm I feel guilty doing things we liked to do . I feel guilty for my life and my kids and how she didnt get such a great shake of the dice in life. out kids the same age my oldest is in her last year at Duke . her oldest is now gaurdin of her younger bro..who has sever downs syndrom. my youngest is in last year of high scholl her boy has downs and is at a 5 yr old level. I feel guilty so badly that all my life she helped me .. and what did I do ??? I could not do one damn thing . I better stop before I fully unload ..I need to get ready for work. Thanks so much Alfee . I am so very very deeply sorry for your loss. even tho I seem to be into my issues ..I am dearly sorry for your loss
PEACE
BMW.

Oh dear friend...I also feel guilty for my life..that I am still here with my family while she is gone...I think those are normal ways to feel when anyone we love, passes first.

I have a card from her on my fridge..she sent it last winter and it's two old woman, their arms linked, both wearing straw hats and their noses covered with sun block..and it says, "Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime."

And inside she wrote..."Aren't we proof of that?? The picture - I can see it coming- Ugh!!!" Love ya See ya soon. Sheila

And now we won't.

Well, if you read the wonder thread, you know I was wondering about your dear friend, Alffee... and now I know the answer to my wonder.... she is flying with the angels now.