When I was a child, my favorite book was Thumper...the rabbit in Bambi, who had the habit of thumping his hind foot as a means of expressing his feelings. I would beg my mother to read and reread this book and hear the admonition "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"

My mother on the other hand, was a firm believer that "the squeaky wheel, gets the oil".

Somewhere in there is how I try to operate this slippery slope I find myself on. I've been quiet because I have nothing nice to say right now.

I was going to bump up the old Assisted Suicide/Right to Die thread but I saw no point in it. As I have said here and on BT years ago that I am a firm believer in the quality of our lives. My dear friend who is dying struggled with this vs chemo for her rapidly progressing cancer...her husband, who loves her dearly, persuaded her to try chemo and a new test drug...the results of which were ghastly and she ended up hospitalized and in agony.

The things we do for "love". Went out with two couples last night and I really tried to "be there" but really wasn't. My dr. doesn't want me to isolate myself so I try to go, do, be things that I can't, things that stress me.
People who know me, mean well and they want to help. For the most part they don't "get it"...how could they..neither do I.

I just wanted to explain my absence here. Hugs for the room.

love you!!!!!!

You're allowed to be human, dear friend

I love it when you're a squeaky wheel... but when it sucks the life blood and energy out of you... well, then you must take care of you first!

Do the bare minimum... listen to your heart... and be there for your girlfriend.

xo Addy

Alffe...

I get it.

Abbie

(((((Alffe)))))

think I may have shared this here before....Many years ago my dear Aunt found out she was terminally ill. The drs gave her 6 to 8 months.

She made a decision that I will admire her for as long as I live

She decided that she would go when she was DONE. Not when the medical powers that be decided she was done.

Early in her final months she started hoarding meds, rather than taking them as prescribed she would take them ONLY when the pain was unbearable.

She gave me the extra pain meds to hold until she was ready.........I will take our little secret to the grave.

She passed with dignity, she knew her family and she was still herself, her family can remember her in a better way then perhaps they may have if she had suffered.

That was her wish and I was honored to be able to help her go "the way SHE wanted" I won't say it easy but I was happy for her!



(((((Alffe)))))

I really appreciate all of your support. Sometimes dying, like living is about choices and I understand that it's hard to accept someone else's choice when it differs from your own. Throw in LOVE and it can really cause chaos.

As I told one of my friends daughters, having the time to make some of those choices can be a mixed blessing...different than a sudden, unexpected death..(Michael comes to mind).

My friend liked her older daughters suggestion that she donate her body to the IU Med center for research and wants to do that. Her younger daughter can't stand that idea because she works at that hospital and knows what they do to the bodies. (she of course doesn't say that to her mom..just her siblings.)

"The Next Place" can't come soon enough!

Hugs for the room.

I'm bumping up this thread for one who may have missed it and is struggling.

My friend continues....on and on. Her daughters word is "horrific".

so when dose the guilty feeling go away????
I thought I would be okay and I am but the guilty feeling why them and not me and all that when dose that guilty shadow storm cloud move on ???