Just wondering if anyone is still up. I can't get into the chat room on my phone. Having really lots of trouble with my thinking and not sleeping is making it worse. I am heading to a course suggested by one of my doctors on Wednesday so just trying to make it til then. Been pretty bad lately. I hate to only come here when I am suicidal, but it seems like there is not much else on my mind lately. I had such a bad experience in the psych ward last time that I want
To stay out of there at just about all costs.

Hi Zenda,
I'm not sure if many are online tonight. Have you seen our sister community?
http://forums.psychcentral.com/

There are quite a few members listed as being online right now there.

Please don't ever feel bad about coming here with those thoughts. That's what it's for. This place can save lives. Come here and share those thoughts. Just get them out. It really can help. When no one is here browse the other forums. Read jokes, make some jokes, write poems. Stay alive!!!! Hope you are feeling some better.

Thanks. It is so bad at night when I have trouble sleeping. I am exhausted from trying to distract myself and from not sleeping. I want quiet time but the quiet time seems to just let the compulsive thoughts take over.

I spent a lot of time on various sites last night. It helped and I finally fell asleep at about 4am. Another day down. I am getting out during the day and Socialising. The suicidal thoughts play in the background the entire time. So tiring. I feel myself getting ground down.

Have you ever tried any anti-anxiety medicine? One xanax at night helps me stop worrying and go to sleep.

Yes lots of different drug trials with few beneficial results. Clonazepam and temazepam work but the depressant qualities of them are not helpful. Currently trying medical marijuana and it is helping immensely. Thanks for the suggestion. The sleep disturbance began after the brain injury.

So glad you have found something that helps Zenda.

I'm glad you found something that helps. I find that Serroquel reeeeeally helps me sleep at night. I NEED sleep. Lack of sleep was one factor that put me in the psych hospital. I have since created a routine, i.e. setting a two hour window for bedtime, and taking the meds around then. It has really helped.

Sleep is so important.

I also do not want to go back to the hospital, we can make it. The thoughts and feelings are so powerful, but we can find ways to cope with them-I know it sounds so corny and redundant, but anything to stay out of the hospital and continue recovery. How are you doing today?

~S

Am visiting my mother today. So I am playing normal but not inside. Had a great week at an enlightenment intensive seminar from which I decided that my mood is low and I got a referral to a new psychiatrist. Will probably mean yet another drug trial but fact is I cannot keep living like this. So we shall see. Gotta go. Will be back online later tonight as I am struggling. Mom doesn't need to know right now. I shall be back later for a good chat with whomever is still here. Thanks all!

The beast, the beast is back. So strong.