Just this week my mom tried to commit suicide! I can't even start to work out how I feel about this. Anger was the first and so far strongest emotion but since then I seem to have lost touch with my feelings altogether.

There is a lot of depression in my family. While drinking one night my sister started trying to commit suicide but luckily came to her sences before making the real attmpt but she was tied to the rope which was tied to the balcony railing and she was on the wrong side of the railing, so that it what I mean by "close" to doing it.

I was also drinking when I made my feable attempt. My sister and I got into a fight and my husband went looking for her so I was alone when I popped 8 sleeping pills not realizing that was insufficient to do the job.

Both my attempt as well as my sisters are secrects from everyone but our husbands and each other. But since my Mom's very real attempt I am fearful that she or one of us will try again! What do I do because I am in S.A. and can't afford therapy.

Hi SadSam and welcome to our "family". Not talking about it, won't fix it nor make it go away. We call it the elephant in the room...everyone knows it's there but no one wants to acknowledge it....it's big!

Who are we? And why do we hang out here?

Some of us have lost a loved one to suicide...some of us are feeling so crushed by life that we want it to end.

We come together for support..we count on each other to pick us up, dust us off and give us a reason to try some more.

We don't judge people in this forum and we ask not to be judged ourselves.
When you share here, we promise to listen with our hearts

Hi Sam !

So glad to see you find our family You will be understood and loved here

So sorry to read you are dealing with this... I have tried too, and failed....

I dont know if I will sound silly, but, why would you like to do it ? is there any reason ?? sometimes it is just an endogenous feeling...

Talk to us.

Love,
Majo.

Many people I know are stopping all drinking for various health reasons or just because..

Maybe alcohol is a strong trigger for those in your family, and stopping that might be a large key in feeling better.

Some people just can't handle/process alcohol.

Is there a suicide support group in your town SadSam? Do you have a Pastor you could talk to?

We have some sticky threads up at the top of the list - here is one of them -
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread238.html

You may find some helpful information for you & your family members in them.

Hi everyone. Thank you all for responding with such kindness and understanding. It is very weird for me to feel so alone even though I know my whole family is going through this.

Luckily my sister and I realized that drinking made us very emotional and we realized that we were making a lot of really stupid decisions under the influence (other than suicide) so we have already cut our drinking right down.

Unfortunately drinking is a big problem throughout my family, grandfather, mother both my sister and I. I know part of the problem is that nobody in family knows how to talk about how we feel so we keep it inside until we have a breakdown of some kind - Getting drunk, getting into a massive fight, something like that.

Does anyone know how I deal with this feeling of sort on numb and angry! I can't seem to get past the anger and I can't work out how else I feel about this whole situation.

Any help will be really appreciated!

P.S. I have very limited access to the net so if I am slow to respond you know why!

Thanks again


SadSam

Anger is a huge part of suicide...both attempts and success. I could not, still can't, understand how someone so loved would prefer death to living. I felt it was the ultimate rejection. And accompanying the anger is the guilt. How could I be so angry at someone I love...??? It is the huge WHY???

Acceptance was a very long time coming and trust me....talking heals you.
People cannot help you if they don't know how you feel.

We'll be here for you.

I've not got much time but wanted to say that a helpful resource for you might be the library- a book that helped me understand "anger" is called "The Dance of Anger". http://www.amazon.com/dp/006074104X?...e_of_anger.htm

Alcohol is like "medication"... I personally understand that. I'd like to recommend you talk to your doctor about your feelings of depression and suicide (sorry if you already have and I missed that) ... it may be healthier for you to try an anti-depressant... much healthier than alcohol.

Addy