Hello

I am just wondering if anyone else has been in my position. Last year I entered a psychiatric unit because I was self harming and had severe stress but I was treated for psychosis and depression which I didn't have. They gave me too high doses of what I believe to be anti depressants and olanzapine. I had a horrible reaction to it overnight literally I had a rush up the back of my head, I felt a coldness over my brain where it melted my brain, my gums were bleeding and my heart was racing so fast. After this happened I could no longer see tomorrow, my emotions disappeared, my appetite went, I no longer enjoy doing things I used to love doing I have become basically a cabbage. I have tried to kill myself but failed I have no quality of life at all I have lost my children and business because of it. I just want to know if there is anyone out there who is still alive and may have been thru a similar experience that managed to get back their emotions and actually feel human again because I certainly do not and i still want to kill myself.

Hang in there, and don't give up. I would call my doctor right away and tell him how you are feeling. You medications may be doing something more to you in reactions, that harm you. I am no doctor, I just recognize a cry for help. NT will be here for you to try to support you. The moderators may be able to better direct you toward some help. Be calm, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. ginnie

Our sister site may contain more knowledge on psych meds and reactions /side effects, and how to overcome them.

Here is the link to it -
http://psychcentral.com/

Hi Sam,
I'm so very sorry you're feeling in such a dreadful place right now.
I'm not sure how long you were on the meds which caused such a bad reaction and don't know if you're on any other ones now, but considering how you say you're feeling I absolutely agree with what ginnie has said about possible negative responses to any meds that you may still be taking now. I suggest you find urgent professional support - like right now.


http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread4982.html
What to do if you are alone and thinking of suicide

I have no emotions or memories they have been destroyed I am in such a bad way there is no-one that can help me the Doctors think I am making the story up they refuse to accept that medication has had such a bad effect on me. I don't want to kill myself but Im left with no choice the effects have been hideous I am a shell of what I was and my children know it as they keep asking why can't I be like I used to. it's heartbreaking.

Does anyone know if taking high dose fish oil could possibly help along with mono atomic gold ormus. I have nothing to lose.

Fish oil is always a good idea. Many people are low in essential fatty acids.

However I would not recommend the Omus gold, as it appears to
be very fringey.

You could request a B12 test and Vit D test. These nutrients are often very low in people. Get your numbers of the results,
and your B12 should be at least 400pg/ml. If they are reported in other units those should be converted. So you can come here for that. People with very low B12 can have mental symptoms and depression. So I would get these done ASAP.

Anemia is not required to have a diagnosis of low B12. Anemia does not appear until low B12 has been around for while. Doctors have outdated ideas on treatment and diagnosis of this condition.

I hope your doctor will do this testing for you.

I just want my brain back but it's not happening I have tried everything but am concluded that suicide is the only option for the misery that I;m in.

You mention you have children. Suicide is a horrible legacy to leave them with. Please don't.

Keep saying over and over.... this too shall pass..... I have felt like you do at times in my life. Pain, depression, loss of job, family, security. There is pain in every life. You have kids, you may not be what you were, but you can be happy again. Listen to "Sting" "Dylan" put some soul back into your life to draw upon. Distract yourself, pick out tiny things that are still good for you. Your life is worth fighting for. Take B12. Do tia chi, talk here. Do what ever you have to do to bring meaning and hope into your life. See the sister site of Neuro Talk. They have more people suffering with this kind of depression. There may be more people to respond to you. Sam. I felt like you do, I really did, I lost a daughter and a grandson. Life is worth living even with physical loss, and emotional loss. Get some good council, and know I will be here any time to talk to. I am not a professional. Just some older woman who has been through a few very difficult things. I go for council myself, and am glad I do. I take anti-depressants, see my doctor, and fight like crazy to keep stable. I am not saying it is easy. None of life is easy. Your children are worth the effort and so are you. I will be here. You can PM me anytime. Keep hope alive, know that one person cares what happens to you. Don't do it, it is a permant thing to a tempory issue. This can get better. ginnie

I admire you because you are strong enough to reach out for help. Perhaps someone will come forward who has shared our experiences. Hang in there.