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02-11-2008, 01:22 PM | #1 | |||
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Sorry I haven't been around this last week . I also have Multiple Sclerosis, MS, I was diagnosed, dx, a year ago on the 12th. I have been spending time on that forum lately because I have alot of mixed emotions about my "anniverary". I will get those book titles posted I haven't forgotten. This is still so new to me, having a place I can talk about Sam's suicide without worrying about making some one else uncomfortable. I am truly greatful to all of you for that It has been eight and a half years of not talking about it, so this may take me alittle time to get used to. I have checked in on the threads here even if I haven't posted much. I have many emotions that are hidden some times and then peek out when I least expect them . I am still a work in progress , but I guess that is a good thing. Sometimes I wonder exactly how much God thinks I can handle and just when I think I've reached my quota, I'm reminded that there is more to me. I wish things could have been different for Sam and I , I wish I could have found a way for it not to have ended that way. I know that you can't change the past what's done is done but some times when I dream...... I have been dreaming about Sam lately, I don't know if it is because I am allowing myself to think about him because I have a place to come to now or what.... They are mostly good dreams, a few dark ones creep in which I guess is to be expected, but I do have some good ones of happier times. I still sometimes think 'Sam would like to see that movie" and then I remember he won't.... I guess being here made me allow myself to think about him before I always felt like I needed to avoid those thought to avoid the urge to talk about him... Any ways I really just wanted to check in, say hi and share were I am right now.
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To talk about "conquering" the uncertainty of MS is to miss the point: MS is uncertain; one of its foremost attributes is uncertainty. BARBARA D. WEBSTER You learn to be a man and a warrior by sharing and by keeping promises. Kenneth Maryboy DX w/MS 2/12/07 on Copaxone 3/07 |
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